


Auribus Teneo Lupum

by MalevolentReverie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha Finn, Alpha Poe Dameron, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Is A Dick, Ben Solo is an asshole, Big ‘Ol Plot Twist In Ch. 3, Biting, Breeding, Come Eating, Complete, Consensual Underage Sex, Consent Issues, Dark, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Knotting, Law School, MalRev Lite, Masturbation, Mating, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Obviously There’s Smut, POV First Person, POV Rey, POV Rey (Star Wars), Rey Is Seventeen, Rutting, Size Difference, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Smut, Snark & Sass, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Swearing, This Was Supposed To Be Dark But Now It’s Just Funny, Underage Drinking, Unhealthy Relationships, at the beginning, okay for real, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-21 15:11:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: Rey Kenobi has big dreams of becoming a lawyer to liberate Omegas from their uncontrollable, touch-induced spiritual bonds to Alphas. Having a Familiar comes with a litany of legal issues that often trap Omegas with few options to escape. She finds herself dragged into this world of Familiars when she slaps Ben Solo, an Alpha with a record. Rey struggles to resist her biological urges and keep her dignity while Ben lurks on the periphery--but a twist of fate may be both of their undoing.





	1. Jus Naturale

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Auribus Teneo Lupum](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18422355) by [AlterE](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlterE/pseuds/AlterE)



> this is in my contract on this site
> 
> underage is just because rey is 17; that's the age of consent in NY but may vary where you live

 “Come on, Rey! Don’t be such a baby!”

Jessika and Rose are ten feet ahead of me, blending in to the throng of people on the lawn of Alpha Phi Omega’s frat house. It’s drizzling but people are too drunk or high or whatever to care. I chase after my friends, skirting drunk college… people (they’re not kids anymore, right?) and hurry inside the house.

This is not my thing—this is not my thing at all. I cling to Jessika’s arm as she leans on her tiptoes to look for her obnoxious boyfriend, and Rose clings to mine in turn. Jess is used to this stuff because Poe, her boyfriend, is always at parties with his Alpha frat buddies. She says it’s a good way for him to get out his ‘Alpha aggression,’ but he still seems like a brash asshole to me.

It reeks of cheap beer and vodka and weed. Rose presses closer to me, watching the Alphas milling around us, and I’m glad I’m not in her shoes. She takes meds that hide her Omega scent, but she says the anxiety of being in a thick crowd of young Alphas never really goes away. I edge us towards a wall when Jess finds Poe and squeals as she leaps in his arms. Yeah—we’ll be safer on the fringe.

I roll my eyes. “Well this sucks. Want to leave before they start—”

Oops. Too late. Jess has her long fingers in Poe’s curly black hair and they’re making out like animals in the middle of the room while his friends jeer. He has a cigarette behind his ear, which adds to his charm, and breaks away from Jess’s mouth to pour beer down her throat. Half of it spills down her chin and Poe drags her off through the house with his mouth all over her collarbone. Cool. I hate her stupid fucking boyfriend; I really do. Jessika used to be fun and independent and now she can’t stop riding Poe Dameron’s dick long enough to do anything else.

I’m in no danger of attracting an Alpha, so I spend my time at parties guarding Rose. Hell, I do it outside of parties, too. I’m not going to let someone like Poe turn Rose Tico into a slave because of some biological bullshit. I smile tightly at guys who wander by and Rose shudders. Why does Jessika drag us to this stuff? She and Poe aren’t even Familiars and when _that_ happens they’ll break up in a second.

 “Let’s just go,” Rose mutters. She paws in her clutch. “We can go to the diner if you want an omelet or something. Breakfast for dinner?”

I curl my lip at another passing guy who does a double-take on Rose. “Yeah, that sounds good. Did you get your move-in packet from school? Because I’ve been waiting and—”

The stranger back tracks and gives Rose an awkward wave. She does the same and I give him a once-over, looking for any signs of danger. He’s dressed nice enough: clean jeans, a hoodie with ‘MIT’ on the front. I narrow my eyes and step aside a foot so they can shake hands.

He smiles at both of us. “Hey, I’m Finn.” Long fingers reach toward Rose. “And… um…?”

 “Rose,” she chirps, and their skin touches.

There’s a buzzing sound followed by a loud, sickening snap. They jerk back from each other and I frantically check Rose’s hand to find exactly what I was afraid of.

A jagged, angry red pattern like a thunderbolt throbs on the back of her hand, searing along her nerves in a permanent brand of ownership. People turn and look as Finn stares at the zigzag on the back of his hand and meets Rose’s eyes. She trembles and bursts into tears before running upstairs.

 “Rose!” I call. “Wait!”

Finn doesn’t budge. A few other guys crowd around him to look at the burn and clap him on the back, like it’s something to be proud of. I rush up the stairs after Rose, shoving drunk people out of my way, and catch her just before she locks the bathroom in my face. I slam it shut and lock it behind me.

Rose paces, waving her hands like she’s shaking water off them. Her dark eyes are wide and terrified. “Rey… Rey… This isn’t how I wanted it to happen!”

 “I know, I know. It’s… It’s going to be okay, Rose. I promise.”

We both know that’s a lie. She’s found her Familiar, and there’s no escaping him now.

I sit on the floor and listen to her for a long time, soaking up her panic and fear like a sponge. I’m okay with it. I’ve always been good at handling negative emotions. Rose is obviously terrified. She’s permanently marked by her bond with a total stranger, who can now unleash all kinds of legal hellfire on her. It’s always an Alpha and an Omega, and the Alpha always gets what he wants.

Some Omegas wear gloves to make sure they never meet their Familiar. It can end well sometimes—but losing your autonomy and dignity isn’t worth it.

Rose sits with me and cries for a while. Jessika peeks in and gasps in horror while she adjusts her bra strap and fixes her makeup. Poe’s done banging her, I guess.

 “Oh, Finn’s so sweet, though!” Jess says, beaming down at Rose. “You can barely tell he’s an Alpha.”

Jesus Christ. That’s not the _point_ , Jess. I shoot her a dirty look and she shrugs when Rose cries again. Now she can’t get married to anyone else—ever. Finn can even have her suppressants stopped.

Someone knocks on the door and Jess opens it without asking who. I glare at Finn as he edges inside, wringing his hands, and it turns into a murderous scowl when I catch sight of Poe. He claps Finn on the back with a grin and shoves him towards Rose and me sitting on the floor. Finn jerks back and scratches the scar on the back of his hand. The sight of it makes me want to claw his eyes out. He doesn’t own Rose.

Poe raises his eyebrows, smacking his gum. “Hey there, Rey!” He saunters into the bathroom and pokes my forehead. “What do you think? Are we Familiars yet?”

I grab his finger and bend it back until he hisses in pain. Jess laughs and shakes her head, working on her eyeliner, and Rose sniffles and peeks at Finn. God, can’t they give her some fucking space?!

Finn edges closer. “We should talk, right?” He smiles faintly. “I mean, I don’t even know your last name. Can we just talk?”

Poe interrupts with an emphatic ‘yes’ before I can say anything. Jess helps Rose to her feet and wraps an arm around her shoulders, and they all file out of the bathroom. I scramble up to follow, but Poe steps in my way in the doorway and smiles smugly.

 “Alpha-Omega business,” he drawls. “No Betas allowed.”

 “I’ll kick the shit out of you, Poe Dameron,” I hiss.

 “Eh. Maybe.”

They walk down the hall and leave me standing alone in the bathroom.

I clench my jaw and pace for a minute before heading out into the hallway. The party is getting louder and louder and I want to go the hell home. But I can’t leave without seeing Rose again, and I have no idea how long she’ll be. I clomp downstairs to the table of alcohol and grab the first thing I see. Beer, maybe? I don’t know. I hate drinking.

It’s like Caligula blew up in the frat house. Everyone’s dancing or laughing or making out. Some are doing worse against the wall and I see more than one scantily-clad woman twisting her neck to show off the itchy bumps framing her throat. I shudder and push through more people to get outside into the cool, quiet night.

The backyard is… better. There’s a bonfire curling flames towards the black sky and it doesn’t feel like a freaky sex dungeon like the house does. I take a deep breath and sit on the steps with my drink, nursing it with grimaces. The Alpha-Omega culture doesn’t make much sense to me. I’m supposedly a ‘Beta,’ which is a rude term for being normal, but technically anything could happen over the next few years. I don’t care. I don’t want to be anyone’s slave.

I sigh and listen to the crickets chirp with my eyes closed. Rose will be okay. I won’t let anything happen to her. I want to be a lawyer so I can vouch for the rights of Omegas like her. She presented early, around thirteen, and we met in middle school. I’ve spent most of my life defending her and I won’t stop when I start college. The idea of a person owning another because of some bizarre biological imperative? Ridiculous.

The sky opens and drives everyone inside. I feel claustrophobic in the crowd of people and try to find somewhere to hide amidst the wet bodies. Some are damp with sweat, some beer, some rain, and I don’t care to know which. I flinch as I push through them, invisible as always, and fling open a door under the stairs. I don’t care where I’m hiding, as long as I can fucking breathe.

A basement. Fantastic. I wring my hair out and start down the rickety stairs into the musty semi-darkness at the bottom. Thankfully I hear men and women, so I know I’m not walking into a trap.

The floor is cold concrete. My wet feet slap across it as I search for another corner to hide in until Rose is done chatting with her new soulmate. I figure she’ll give it a week before she blows him off. Rose won’t give in to that bullshit. I know she won’t. We both promised we wouldn’t.

 “Ooo—what’s this?”

I glance up and take a quick step back.

A man towers over me, dark eyes somehow glowing in the near-darkness. His black hair is pulled back in a bun and he has a cigarette hanging between his full lips with a red cherry flickering at the end. He’s broad-shouldered, with a sloping jaw and protruding ears, and I see an alpha symbol tattooed behind his ear. It’s not for show—it means he’s an Alpha, and he’s been arrested. Not a good sign.

I keep my gaze steady. “Just waiting for my friend.”

He raises his eyebrows and takes a lazy drag from his cigarette. He’s wearing a black t-shirt that accentuates his muscle-bound arms and jeans with a belt buckle emblazoned with the Alpha symbol. We get it. You’re an Alpha.

He flicks his ashes on the concrete. “I’m Ben. Who’re you?”

 “…Rey.”

 “Rey who?”

 “None of your business,” I snip.

Ben smiles and takes another long pull from his cigarette, then puts it out on the wall. I hear moaning from the room behind him and take another quick step back. I don’t want anything to do with his weird Alpha shit. He looks way older than me, anyway.

His hazy dark eyes study me. “How old are you, Rey?”

 “Seventeen, so you better back off.”

Ben grins and slips around me to block my path to the stairs. I touch the wall and feel true fear for the first time in… well, ever. Women keep whimpering and I hear the slick sound of flesh pounding flesh from the dimly lit room down the hall. Ben clings to the top frame of the door and stares at me as he inches forward, drawing his fingertips across the ceiling. I’m not scared of you.

 “Jailbait,” he coos. “What’re you doing here, little girl? Hungry for Alpha cock?”

 “Hardly. My friend is upstairs talking to her… friend.” I glower up at Ben, trying not to look scared. “Poe Dameron is a mutual friend, so don’t do anything stupid.”

Ben laughs. He’s edging me towards the back room.

 “I’m not afraid of Poe Dameron.” Ben blocks off the doorframe again, puckering his lips like he’s thinking. “I didn’t go to college, anyway—I came here to get fucked up and get off. Have you had sex, Rey? I can show you what a knot feels like.” He leans closer and takes a deep breath through his mouth. “You don’t smell like you’ve presented. Beta?”

 “You mean ‘normal’? Yes.”

We back into the room and I pick up on the faint scent of sweat and… something else. My heart thunders against my ribs as Ben looms over me, smirking, unperturbed by the grunts and moans around us. I know what’s happening. I’m not a complete moron.

He gives me a lascivious look. “Mm. Let’s talk about normal versus abnormal in bed. Just some light cuddling.”

 “I’d rather not.”

Ben pouts, reaching out to rub my skirt in his fingertips. “No? I just want to chat, jailbait. Let me get you another drink so you can relax.”

Everything about him infuriates me. I puff up, indignant, and slap Ben across the face.

Fire rips up my palm straight to the base of my skull. I shriek in shock and jerk back from Ben as it snaps and snarls, searing a throbbing scar on my left shoulder. He growls in pain and covers his face, only to reveal a jagged scar running from his jaw past his right eye. I can see the rest of it dip below the collar of his shirt, but I’m too horrified to care. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.

I shove past Ben and run upstairs. My shoulder throbs as I find Rose sitting alone with Finn in a bedroom, just talking, but she doesn’t resist when I yank her into the hall. She promises she’ll call him and wraps an arm around my waist as we flee the frat.

 “Rey?!” Rose asks. “What’s wrong?”

I just shake my head. She checks her phone as I scramble with my keys at the car and look over my shoulder. I don’t know where Jessika is, but I need to…

Ben is standing on the lawn with his hands in his pockets. His dark eyes assess me while he smokes another cigarette and ignores the glowing red scar across his face. I hurriedly open my car door and take off down the street, trembling. No. No—it’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.


	2. Non Compos Mentis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh so this has a plot  
> also wow u guys are so kind wheeeee i never know what to say to comments so um  
> y'all rock

We pull up to the apartment we share with Rose’s sister, Paige, in downtown Boston. It’s near the New England aquarium, so it’s a safe area and a major tourist trap. Thankfully I’m all moved out of my foster home back in Keene, New York that I shared with my beastly ‘father,’ Unkar Plutt.

I’m _never_ going back to the MIT campus again. Who cares if I’m starting college there in three months? I’ll… I’ll switch to online classes and hide in the apartment the entire four years of prelaw. I planned on going to Harvard, but I probably won’t get in, anyway. I’ll apply out of state. Way out of state; the other side of the _country_ out of state.

Rose knows I’m upset, but I’m not about to pile on her stress with my own stress. I smile and wave her off as I unlock our apartment all the way up on the third floor.

 “I’m just worried about you,” I say. “How’s Finn? Is he nice?”

 “ROSE!”

Paige comes flying out of nowhere to hug her sister, lifting her off the floor and spinning around the narrow hallway leading into our apartment. She squeals and Rose laughs as they fall over in the living room just out of my sight. I twist the lock, hesitate, and latch the deadbolt for good measure. The mark still burns on my arm—it’s on my upper arm, not my shoulder like I thought. I’m afraid to acknowledge it beyond that.

 “Okay, I’m finishing up finals this week, but I want Finn to come over for dinner.” Paige hops to her feet and throws her black her in a messy bun on top of her head. “Maybe like Thursday night? How old is he? What program is he in? Is he married? Does he have kids?”

Paige is more our mother than Rose’s sister. She’s met her Familiar, Galen, by accidentally backing in to him at a pool party. They both have a scar like a sun between their shoulder blades. Turned out he was already mated with another man, but his bond with Paige is more of a… friendship? It’s hard to explain. The bonds are deep and complicated and not always romantic. Paige even offered to be their surrogate. Some say a Familiar is a ‘spiritual’ bond and a mate, with the neck biting and shit, is a ‘physical’ bond.

Rose sits up on the couch and smiles at her mark. “He’s twenty-three and starting his Master’s in finance this semester. Not married, no kids.”

I drop my keys in the dish just outside the hall and tug out my three hair buns. The apartment smells like dinner and I’m starving like always. Paige leans over the couch to chat with her sister and I help myself to lasagna in the fridge without heating it up. I wander out to the living room with the tray and sit in our torn leather couch with my legs curled up underneath my butt to listen to Rose.

 “Rey hasn’t chased him away yet?” Paige asks, raising her eyebrows at me and grinning. “That’s bizarre.”

 “I’ll give him a chance,” I gurgle with my mouth full. I waggle my fork and narrow my eyes. “One chance.”

Rose beams while Paige traces her fingertip across the mark. “I’m so glad you were there, Rey. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t. Poe was… Poe about it. Obnoxious and not helpful at all.”

Paige retches. “Poe Dameron? Is he still dating poor Jessika Pava?”

 “Yup.” I roll my eyes and shove a huge chunk of lasagna in my mouth. “He’s like fuckin’ thirty and he’s not even in college. Didn’t he break his leg or something and get booted from the Air Force?”

 “Rey,” Paige admonishes gently, “don’t be disrespectful. He was discharged for medical reasons. He saved someone’s life, y’know.”

I snort, shaking my head. “Doesn’t mean he has to bang seventeen-year-olds.”

The two sisters chat and Rose seems happier and comfortable, so I eat until I’m nauseous and guzzle a bottle of water. I shuffle through the apartment to my bedroom, still full of boxes and random shit strewn everywhere, and draw the blinds before I change. The mark—‘soulmark’; whatever—keeps throbbing on my arm like a homing beacon. I slip out of my blouse and check it in the mirror.

It looks like two claws reaching out, hovering millimeters apart. It’s bright red like Rose’s and itches and stings; the angry sign of an unconsummated Familiar bond. Paige and her Familiar, Galen, just got it over with so they wouldn’t constantly be in pain. I’m not about to do that with Ben. He’s an asshole.

But I’m not sure what to make of it. The soulmarks are supposed to look the exact same—it’s how the legality of the bond is established and why the Alpha in the bond gets dominion over the Omega. But Ben’s looks like a slash across his face and mine is clearly two hands reaching for each other, so… it doesn’t make any sense. It’s a relief, though. It’ll be much harder for him to prove we’re Familiars. Blood tests and shit get involved and it gets expensive.

I hip check my bathroom door open while scrolling through Facebook for any news on the party. I’m a little curious about Ben, but I also want to pretend he doesn’t exist. It’s a conundrum.

But no one has much to report. I keep creeping through social media during my shower, only taking small breaks to scrub my hair and distractedly run my loofa across my skin. The water turns ice cold after ten minutes and I groan and hurry through the rest of my shower. It’s cool having my own teeny bathroom, but the hot water doesn’t always work.

I chuck my phone on my green bed sheets while I slip into my footie pajamas that I bought semi-ironically with Rose. ‘Jailbait’—what a fucking jerk. He’s a creep like Poe; hanging around frat parties looking for drunk girls to drag home. I won’t be the first person to have a Familiar who’s a piece of shit, though. Unwitting people have bonded with serial killers and rapists and… ick. I even heard a story about a kindergarten teacher bonding with one of her students. Double ick.

The soulmark is a legal nightmare that I want to wade right into. I’ll make sure no Omega becomes the property of some random Alpha they accidentally bumped into. The vast majority of Alphas are male and most Omegas are female, so there’s a huge gender disparity at play, too. It creates unwanted kids, sexual assault that’s brushed under the rug… It’s bad. It’s _really_ bad. Thankfully, most people are Betas like me, and Betas don’t have Familiars, so…

My racing mind finally slows for two seconds and the horrible reality strikes me. If I have a soulmark, and Ben is my familiar… _I’m an Omega._

Oh god—no. I pace my room, chewing my lower lip, slipping into a panic. No—I don’t have the heat cycles and the suppressants and the anxiety around Alphas that Rose does. I’m seventeen; there’s only a few more months for me to present. I went through puberty early. I know I’m not an Omega. I fucking obsessed over it after Rose presented and her life turned into a hellish nightmare.

The soulmark isn’t right, anyway. Maybe Ben and I are just the first Alpha-Beta pair. I move on to chewing my nails and my pulse roars in my ears, drowning out the laughter of Rose and Paige down the hall. I’m not an Omega. I’m not an Omega. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life fighting impossible biological urges, and I’m not going to be reduced to some random asshole’s property.

My phone twitters on my bed. I pick it up, still staring off into space, and see a strange number.

**+1-617-850-9999**

_Nice apartment._

My heart skips a beat. I look around my bedroom in a mild panic and step up to my window to peer through the blinds to the dark street below. This time my heart falls straight through my stomach.

Ben is leaning on my car, smoking another cigarette. He nods to passerby and even three stories up I can feel his dark eyes zero in on me like a hawk to a rabbit. I stare down at him through the gap in the blinds and draw back from the window, terrified. How does he know my phone number? How did he find my house?

Trembling, I shut off my phone and turn off the lights for good measure. I slip under the sheets and cover my head and hope it’ll all go away. This isn’t me—I don’t run from my problems. But this is a huge fucking problem. This is a life-ending problem. This is something that will get me buried deep in legal nightmares and maybe take everything away from me.

I snatch my phone to send Poe and Jessika nasty texts demanding to know if they gave Ben my phone number. While it’s on I get another text from Ben:

_Don’t be a bitch. Turn your lights back on._

My fear suddenly flips into anger. Who the hell does he think he is? I glare at the text for all of ten seconds before responding.

_I’m calling the police._

While I change his name in my phone to Captain Asshole, he replies.

              _Go ahead. You’re mine now, jailbait._

_All I need is for you to present or turn eighteen._

_I’ll wait._

Something beyond anger burns in my stomach. I grab my can of mace from my nightstand drawer and kick my feet into my blue slippers, simmering with an emotion I can’t quite place. But it drives me right out the door, down the stairs, and outside into the balmy, sticky summer night to confront Ben.

He glances up, smirking like he thinks I fell for the bait. I point the pepper spray in his face and he raises his hands defensively, laughing like it’s not a threat. His flippancy makes me angrier. Rage boils in me like an itch I can’t scratch unless I wipe the smug look off Ben's fucking face.

 “Cute jammies,” he drawls. “You’re taking the jailbait thing to a whole other level. That’s pretty fucked up, Rey.”

 “How did you get my number?!” I demand, mace trembling in my hand.

Ben seizes my hand before I can react. I manage to discharge some of the spray, but Ben rips the can out of my hand and twists my arm behind my back to shove me into my car stomach-first. A dog barks down the street as he growls and rubs his eyes with one hand while restraining me with the other. My cheek is smooshed against the roof and Ben’s heavy body keeps me from moving much. I grunt and squirm.

He yanks through the buttons on my top to expose my left shoulder and upper arm. The soulmark tingles when Ben brushes his fingertips across it and he dips his lips near my ear.

 “It’s going to happen soon,” he whispers, curling his hand around my mark. “You’ll start organizing all your clothes and blankets in a little nest and wail and drip slick like a good Omega. I’ll just wait right out here until it gets too painful to ignore and you beg me to come fuck you. And you will—because that’s your only purpose.”

 “Fuck you,” I spit. “You’re no better than a wild animal.”

 “Mm. You’ll like that soon.” Ben’s nose drifts behind my ear and along the curve of my throat. “Trust me.”

I dig my elbow into his ribs and he lets go: not because it hurt, but because he’s done tormenting me. Ben smirks at my glare as I circle around him towards the apartment and fix the buttons on my pajamas. My anger climbs higher and higher, spinning out of control, and I get the urge to smash my car’s windows. It’s stupid, but… I just want to beat my fists into something.

Ben checks his watch. “I’d say it’ll take less than a week. The Familiar thing should kick your hormones into overdrive.” He casually tugs his black shirt off and tosses it to me. “You’re probably going to want that when it starts, but I won’t be far whenever you decide to call. You’re a virgin, right?”

I won’t admit the weird sense of pleasure I get from the smell of his shirt. Instead I puff up like a cobra, hoping Ben will go the hell away if I make myself _look_ intimidating.

 “How old are you?” I snap.

 “Twenty-eight.” He folds his arms over his broad chest, now wearing a white tank top. “It’s about time for me to knock up a girl and settle down, right?”

 “I’m seventeen, you sick fuck.”

Ben shrugs, now looking bored. “You won’t be when I fuck you.”

The rage flashes like a lightning bolt and I almost punch him in the throat. But I take a sharp step back, clenching my jaw, and storm upstairs with my can of mace.

Rose and Paige try to talk to me, but I brush them off and stomp to my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me. I throw Ben’s shirt like it’s crawling with spiders and toss my pepper spray back in the drawer. I’m so mad I’m quivering. I pace for a minute, clutching my head and rubbing my temples. You don’t have to do anything, Rey. No one owns you. You’re your own person. You—

 ? _nest?_

I stop dead. My room is silent, but I can hear subtle ringing in my ears.

 …… _…nest.!_

Now I break out in a cold sweat and my wide eyes flicker about, trying to find an excuse for the voice in my head. Everything is dark and still. It’s coming from me.

It pulses. _ah—must—!_ I can smell Ben’s shirt from across the room. _—ah. must nest.!! mm._

 “No,” I mumble, shaking my head. I sink down to the floor, coming my fingers through my hair, squeezing my eyes shut. “No… no…”

  _mm… mm-mm-mm.!_

My skin lights up like a livewire and my cool bedroom is suddenly way too much for me. I jerk to my feet and go back to pacing as the little voice coos and seeps across my mind. But my thoughts can’t go anywhere except to the vague musky scent of Ben’s shirt from across the room. My heart pounds when I think of it and I rise into a fever pitch of anxiety.

  _nest!!!!_

I groan and shake my head. “No—no!”

The voice pushes harder. _nest!!!! nest!!! NEST!!! NEST. NEST. NEST. NEST._

It’s the fucking shirt. I slap the side of my head a few times to shut the voice up and swipe the shirt off the floor to destroy it. Pleasant warmth creeps up my arm from the fingers touching it and I hesitate for a second, mesmerized by how soft the fabric is and how it smells like home. I’ve never had a home. I don’t know what the hell home should smell like.

Trembling, I rush into the bathroom and have to pry my fingers off the shirt to drop it in the tub. I scramble for matches and set it on fire while the voice screams in my head.

  ** _?!?!NESTNESTNESTNESTNESTNESTNESTNEST!!!!_**

I sink to the floor with my head in my hands, sobbing and fighting the irresistible urge to save the shirt. But the voice dies down as the scent of Ben’s shirt becomes marred with char and fire, and soon it lilts into a soft whisper. The fire alarm goes off over my head as I sit there and stare at the wispy gray smoke.

I am my own person. I am not the pawn of biology. I am my own person. I am my own person. I am my own person…


	3. Casus Fortuitus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh i update fast LOL

  _MATE!_

My eyes snap open and I sit up ramrod straight in bed from some screaming signal in my hindbrain. The soulmark prickles with an unbearable itch; I shiver with anticipation, hairs standing up on my arms. Laughter drifts to my bedroom from down the hall as my wide eyes settle on a familiar figure in my bedroom doorway.

Ben’s long arms are crossed over his chest and he’s leaning on the doorjamb. He’s wearing the same white tank top from last night and he’s chewing gum, smacking his lips and eyeing me. I sit perfectly still and stare at him. A smile spreads across his face and he shrugs off the doorframe, sauntering towards me. My heart races. I don’t speak—I don’t even dare take a breath.

He stops right next to my bed, looming over me like a vision from my nightmares. I keep staring as he tugs his shirt over his head and jerks his chin towards me.

 “Unbuckle my belt.”

His _voice_. I shrink back and shake my head, struggling in vain to resist the ‘Alpha tone.’ Ben repeats himself in a deeper voice and I dip my eyes to do what he says. My clammy fingers catch on the shiny buckle a few times, but I manage to get his belt loose. My forearms are smattered with bandages and ugly green and purple bruises. I hurry through his jeans.

Ben rolls me on my stomach and tugs my pants down to my thighs. He leans across my back, burying his face in my hair, planting his hands on either side of my head like a cage. I fist the sheets and breathe fast through my nose in terror while he smells me. I’m in a cage. There’s no way out.

No way out. No way out. _No way out—_

 “Get up, lazy ass!”

Gasping, I scramble under my sheets and wake up for real. My ears ring as Jessika leaps in my bed, laughing and still reeking of booze, and I struggle to smile. I’m not sure if I had a nightmare or a vision. Can I have visions now? When do I start pouring bodily fluids from my crotch like a leaky water fountain? What if Poe can smell me? He’ll rat me out to everyone.

I’m hoping I can get suppressants before anyone figures out what’s going on. I’m humiliated. I want to stop everything before it starts: Ben, the Omega crap, and the Familiar nonsense. I don’t even know his last name, but the government will let him take possession of me without batting an eye. A complete stranger can make my life a living hell.

Jess rolls on her back and takes out her cell phone. “Rose said you set off the fire alarm last night. Way to be, Rey. It’s noon, by the way. Get up—you’re fifth wheeling with all of us.”

 “I have errands to run,” I say tonelessly. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

 “Errands?” Jess frowns at me, cocking her head. “You look kind of pale. Is everything okay?”

I nod and slip out of bed onto my shaky legs. Jess watches me for a minute as I get an outfit for the day, then she hops up and kisses my temple. She skips out of my bedroom, calling loudly for Poe.

My mind spins. The eerie voice in my head is quiet, but I feel a vague sense of unease. I know how dramatic and traumatic ‘presenting’ was for Rose, and I’m absolutely dreading the same thing happening to me. It’s off to an insidious start, so I hope I can get suppressants before the wailing and painful horniness kicks in. I can head it off. I’m still in control.

I slip into jeans and a plain gray t-shirt and brush my teeth. Voices mingle from the living room, and I wander out to find Finn, Poe, Rose, and Jess lounging around together. Paige is long gone to work. It still smells like breakfast and my stomach growls at the prospect of greasy bacon and cheese-covered scrambled eggs. I offer a halfhearted wave to Finn and Poe and open the fridge.

Then I remember that I texted Jess about Ben and she never answered me. I narrow my eyes and glare at a half-empty pitcher of orange juice. Jess never ignores my texts. Poe probably deleted it before she noticed, and he _had_ to be the one who gave Ben my phone number and address.

I glower at Poe while I make myself breakfast and he ignores me for the most part. But once or twice he throws me a smug smile and I want to chuck an egg at his face.

Rose tells me I look like hell when I sit next to her and eat my breakfast. I shrug, shooting Poe a hide-melting glare and stuffing my mouth without looking away from him. I hate Poe even more, if that was possible. But he obviously hasn’t told Jess about my predicament or she would’ve been all over me about it. I chew with my mouth open, stabbing eggs on my fork. Poe fucking Dameron. Fuck him.

I’m furious, but the thought of admitting my Omega status is total humiliating. It shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t feel like my life is over. But it does. Everything is slipping from my grasp. I’m in a tailspin and I need to right myself before I crash and burn.

I slap the back of Poe’s head on my way out the door.

It’s nice outside, and the nearest clinic is only a few blocks away. I rummage around in my purse to make sure I have my wallet when I feel something like a buzz of electricity down the back of my neck.

 “Going somewhere?”

I slowly raise my eyes to find Ben standing five feet away, leaning on my apartment building’s wall. He changed at least, so hopefully he wasn’t waiting outside all night, and his black hair frames his long, melancholy face. My jaw clenches and the same strange sense of anger comes back. I’m really not a pissy person, but lately I can’t stop getting mad over every little thing.

 “The doctor,” I reply tersely. “And believe it or not, you can’t stop me.”

 “I can’t take you seriously with that stupid fucking accent.”

Fury flares in me. I channel it into a dramatic walk-off down the sidewalk and Ben lopes after me. My thoughts swirl in a hundred different directions, ricocheting between wanting to choke him out and wanting to rub my face on his neck. I drum my nails on my thigh and chew the inside of my cheek.

Ben rolls his eyes. “Take a joke, jailbait.”

I shoot him a repulsed look. “Do you think that’s funny? Because it just highlights how disgusting you are.” Someone walks between us and I slip around a streetlamp. “I’m _seventeen_.”

 “For like, two more months.” He suddenly snags my waist and drags me up against him, smirking. “Theeen—” He taps the tip of my nose with his fingertip on each word. “You’re. Not. Going. Anywhere.”

I snap at his finger and manage to chomp down on his first knuckle. Ben turns us to shove me into a nearby wall and jam his finger down my throat. I catch his second knuckle in my molars and twist my fingers in his thick black hair and yank down hard. He flinches, laughing, and lets go. Passerby stare at us as I pant and glare up at him, dusting myself off.

 “We’ll see about that,” I hiss.

Ben whistles and skips after me. He wipes my spit on my arm. “You don’t get this, do you?”

 “I do—you think I’m going to be your personal sex slave, because you’re a misogynistic prick. People like you give Alphas a bad rap.”

He seizes my left arm right over the mark and drags me close. This time he’s not smiling. He looms over me, eclipsing my daylight in shadow, and I instinctively shrink back. The same voice chirping about nesting is shivering and telling me to show him my throat. _angry alpha bad—angry alpha bad—_

Ben raises his eyebrows. “I’m not asking to be your little boyfriend, Rey. You can’t blow me off.” He shifts closer, gaze flickering to my lips. “You’re _mine_ now.”

  _!!!!throat throat throat; show throat!!!!_

I wilt under his dark, penetrating eyes and begin to tilt my chin like the small voice insists. But indignation flickers to life from the same exact place, and I arch on my tiptoes instead to get in his face. Our eyes are inches apart. I can see flecks of blue in his irises.

 “I’m not afraid of you,” I say in a low, even tone.

 “I think you’ll change your tune.”

We drift apart gradually, like two feral cats locked in a staring match. Ben releases me, and we walk the last block in silence. I let the door to the clinic slam in his face.

It’s cool inside. I shuffle into a waiting room with comfy blue chairs and magazines and see one other girl sitting and waiting her turn. A television runs the news on low volume in the background, mounted above a clean fish tank teeming with life. Ben stays right behind me as I scurry up to reception.

The man behind the counter smiles. He has a telltale ring next to his Adam’s apple. Omega male—huh. I’ve never seen one before.

 “Hello!” he says. “How can I help you today?”

Ben is fucking breathing down my neck. I turn slowly with my eyebrows raised and shove him back by his chest when he doesn’t take the hint. A concerned look flits across the receptionist’s face, but it disappears when I offer my ID and insurance card. I wave my hand vaguely, embarrassed.

 “I need those pills, I think,” I mumble. “Y’know—for the…” I rub the back of my head.

 “Oh, of course! Let me just—”

Ben shoves his way in, scowling. “You’re not taking suppressants.”

The receptionist smiles tightly at Ben. “And who are you, sir?”

Ben grabs my arm, pushing up my sleeve, and points to the scar across his own face. “Ben Solo, and this—” He squeezes. “Is mine.”

It devolves into an argument. The receptionist, Isaac, types in my information and watches Ben and me going at it until our faces are centimeters apart and our fists are balled. He calls someone to ‘assist’ us, and I get the humiliating experience of becoming a public spectacle. I’ve known Ben for less than twenty-four hours and he’s already ruining my life.

A short, elderly woman opens the frosted glass door leading out of the waiting room. She pushes her round glasses up her nose and smiles as she holds the door open for Ben and me, still at each other’s throats. She doesn’t seem bothered by the two of us on the brink of a brawl.

 “You’re not taking fucking suppressants!” Ben snaps for the hundredth time. “You’re _my_ Familiar and I have a right to your first heat cycle. You can’t just permanently put it off!”

 “I can do whatever the hell I want!”

The woman, whose nametag says ‘MAZ KANATA,’ touches both of our arms. I glower up at Ben’s furious face, hardly listening to Maz talk, and he runs a hand through his hair in a stiff, angry motion.

 “I understand this is a stressful situation,” she soothes, “but there are other patients here under an equal amount of stress who do not want to listen to you two fight. I’m Doctor Kanata. I can get this whole situation cleared up with a few blood tests, but I need both of you to take a few deep breaths and try to relax.” She takes my hand and smiles. “Rey Kenobi, yes? You’re an emancipated minor, so we can perform the blood work without a guardian’s permission.”

Ben points his finger in my face, glaring at me but talking to Maz. “She’s not taking suppressants. I’m not going to be denied my right to—”

 “You’ll speak when spoken to, Mister Solo,” Maz interrupts in a firm, cold tone. “Unless you’d like to spend the day in jail?”

His intimidating dark eyes turn on Maz, but she doesn’t flinch. Ben folds his arms over his chest and clenches his jaw. I get a sick sense of pleasure watching him squirm.

We walk through the quiet hallway to a white room at the end. Maz inspects my soulmark gently, but jerks Ben’s head down to prod his and shoves him in his chair when she’s done. She takes my vital signs and boots Ben out of the room so I can describe my strange symptoms. I lapse into silence after, listening to Ben pace outside the door and mutter under his breath. Alphas are the fucking worst. A slight to their ‘rights’ is unimaginable in their narcissistic fantasy world.

Maz pushes her glasses up her nose again, filling the lenses with her wide eyes, and taps her chin. “Mm. I think I know what’s happening, but I do need to perform blood work to verify it. I can confirm your presentation. Unfortunately, I also have to verify that Mister Solo is your Familiar.”

 “I can’t just take suppressants?” I ask, heart sinking.

 “Not until your first true heat cycle.” She offers me a sad smile. “I’m so sorry, Rey. Unless you’d like to wait it out, this is the only option. In my professional opinion, waiting is not a wise choice.”

No, definitely not. That’s the entire point of me being here. I want to head it off before my mind turns to mush and I can’t control myself anymore.

My lower lip trembles but I hold back my tears and agree to the blood work. Maz slips outside to invite Ben back in so he can’t question the legitimacy of the test. He leans on the wall and stares from start to finish, nodding when Maz reminds him that he has to cover the high cost of the Familiar verification. My insurance covers the simpler one that confirms I’m an Omega.

She leaves the room when she has two vials of my blood. I sit silently on the exam table’s crinkly paper and don’t bother holding back my tears anymore. My life is over. The stranger across the room is going to have complete control over me; some thirty-year-old man I just met. I graduated high school a month ago. I haven’t even had sex. I wanted to wait for the right person, and I figured I was safe because of my Beta status. Now I don’t have a say in the matter and no one will stop Ben.

 “Don’t cry.”

I look up at Ben miserably. He’s not looking at me, though—he’s fiddling with his watch and all the tension is gone from his face. I don’t want his sympathy, but the small voice tells me I do. It’s like my head was cut open and someone else’s brain has been shoved inside. I feel sick. I’m a prisoner in my own body, and there’s no escape. I can’t unzip my skin and leave my uncontrollable urges behind.

 “You’re ruining my life,” I sob, shuddering. “I don’t even know you… I don’t want you.” I cover my face and shake my head. “Why are you doing this to me?!”

 “I’m not doing anything to you, Rey. You’re my Familiar, so… this is just the way things are. Quit fighting nature and just let it happen.” He taps the wall with his heel. “I mean, I’m not going to pin you down—”

Indignation flickers like a spark and I’m across the room before I realize it, up in Ben’s face again. He flinches, just for a second, then affixes a cold stare on his long face.

 “You might as well be pinning me down!” I snarl. “You think it’s okay to fuck Omegas in heat because it’s _natural_?! Polio is natural, but I bet you’ve got your fucking vaccine! Just because something’s natural doesn’t mean it’s right, and it doesn’t mean we should just put up with it.”

Ben seizes my arm, using his height to loom over me; trying to scare me. “You’re going to obey me one way or another. I promise.”

I step closer and press my much smaller body against his, unwavering. Ben’s dark eyes search mine like he’s looking for a weakness. I won’t let him find one.

 “When I graduate law school,” I say in a low tone, “the first thing I’ll do is dissolve your hold over me. Then I’ll file a charge for sexual assault for every single time you take advantage of my heat cycle—because I will never, _ever_ be giving my full and free consent when you decide to fuck me. I’ll make you the fucking poster child for nonconsensual heat cycle intimacy. They’ll plaster the textbooks with your face. Every research paper, every BuzzFeed article; every random blog post will have your face at the top. That will be your legacy—I’ll make sure of it.”

The door clicks open. Ben releases me as Maz perches on her stool again with the test results in her hand. She laughs, drawing a dirty look from both Ben and I. What’s so fucking funny?

 “Turns out I was right yet again.” She gestures between the two of us. “You two are Familiars, obviously.”

My bravado fades. I think I might puke.

Ben nods tersely and glances at me. “Good. Make sure she doesn’t get any—”

 “Oh,” Maz interrupts, “I’m not finished, Mister Solo.” She looks at me and her smile grows. “Rey, you’re not an Omega.”

 “…Really?” I frown, cocking my head. “Then what’s happening to me?”

Maz turns the sheet to face Ben and I. We both lean in and Ben launches into a colorful list of curses. I gape at the paper with my mouth wide open and somehow ignore Ben throwing shit around the room.

Right there at the top in big bold letters underneath ‘FAMILIARS’ is the last thing I expected.

**ALPHA-ALPHA BOND**


	4. Par Delictum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm super blown away by all your amazing comments waahhh  
> i love a good plot twist and i'm glad you guys do, too :D

Ben’s like a bull in a china shop. He keeps swearing and smashing whatever he can get his hands on, and it seems like Maz expected as much. She casually pops a syringe out of her lab coat’s front pocket, flicks the cap off, and buries the needle in the raging Alpha male’s upper arm.

It draws a violent reaction from Ben. He whirls around with his hand raised, but I catch his wrist with both of my hands and refuse to let go. His pupils are dilated, soaking up the bits of brown and blue in his irises, and I wilt under his penetrating glare. He clenches his jaw and breathes hard through his nose a few times—it’s like standing under the beady eyes of a shark smelling blood.

 “You need to fucking stop!” I snap.

Maz pricks Ben’s arm with another needle and he turns on her again with a low snarl. She ignores his threat and returns to her stool, neatly organizing her papers as if the entire room hasn’t been obliterated. It’s strewn with broken glass and shattered medical equipment, and Ben managed to punch a couple holes in the walls. I gawk at the destruction until Ben groans and wobbles on his feet.

Maz glances at him. “Welcome back, Mister Solo. Did you enjoy your tantrum?”

Ben clutches his head and I notice his pupils are two different sizes. I squeak in surprise as he almost collapses on me but use his own momentum to plop him in his chair. He blinks slowly with his lips parted, looking around the room as if it’s completely new to him. It’s a bit bizarre. I frown and wave my hand in front of his face to check how aware he is.

One of his big hands gropes blindly for me and snags the front of my shirt. Ben drags me into his lap, wrapping me in a bear hug as I claw at his chest and hiss in protest. I twist around in his arms, but he keeps them locked around my waist like a vice. Every time I squirm he tightens his hold until I cough and splutter and sag over his forearms, gasping for air. Maz keeps writing like everything’s fine.

 “Alpha-Alpha Familiar bonds are not unheard of,” she says, clicking her pen, “but they’re typically between same-sex pairs, like Omega-Omega bonds. While two Omegas bonding often works quite well… two Alphas is, ah… _dramatic_.”

I peer up at her, still draped over Ben’s arms. “Does this mean I’m not going to have heat cycles?”

 “No, you’re still going to suffer heat, unfortunately. It’s linked to gender rather than presentation—Beta women technically experience ‘heat’ as monthly periods.” Maz shrugs, eyeing Ben as he slowly slouches against my back. “You’re likely to have fertility issues and your heats will be wildly unpredictable. Some may pass without you realizing it, some may have you bound up like an Omega, and they tend to occur at random. Suppressants may or may not work.”

 “…What about him?” I ask as I shove Ben back. “Can he stop me from taking them?”

Maz gives me a warm smile. “No, Rey. He can’t. But we have a lawyer on staff to help you understand the legal implications, and he does need you to sign some paperwork. I printed out some more information for you about what to expect. Feel free to call me if you have any questions. Mister Hux is as effective as he is _impatient_ , so—”

The door opens without warning. Maz casts an irritated look to a tall, sinewy man with red hair and cold green eyes, dressed neat and proper in a black suit. He doesn’t even try to hide the disdain etched in his gaunt, pale face, and I get the feeling that Alpha pairs are something reviled.  

My lips part without me consciously doing so and I take a sharp breath, brushing air across the roof of my mouth. I don’t pick up a scent, exactly—but my palate tingles from something bitter and spicy. It’s repulsive to me and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. This strange man is an Alpha—and I want him to get the hell away from me and Ben.

Maz rolls her eyes and gestures toward him. “Rey, Ben: this is Armitage Hux. He offers legal counsel for Familiars; typically, Alpha-Omega. We’re legally required to have him review some things with you.”

Ben suddenly stirs and huffs through his mouth, too. A growl rumbles in his chest and his arms coil tighter like a snake strangling the final breaths from its prey. I wheeze and dig my nails into his forearms as Maz hurries over to give him another injection in his bicep.

Hux smiles snidely. “I shouldn’t be surprised to find Ben Solo at the heart of this abomination.” He appraises me with the same contempt he holds for Ben. “And this must be his blushing Familiar, fresh out of high school to usher him into the next pathetic phase of his hillbilly dreamscape. Charming.”

I’m freed from my cage as the third dose of medication drags my Familiar into an even deeper stupor. He laughs as Maz and I work together to pull him to his feet, staggering a couple steps like he might fall flat on his face, and mumbles incoherently. It’s nerve-wracking leading him out of the room with his hooded dark eyes tracking my every step.

But we make it down the hallway to Hux’s office. He shuts the door behind Ben and walks around a huge mahogany desk to sit in a high-backed black chair. There isn’t much in the room, just a big bookshelf teeming with a variety of reference guide and manuals, and two small black chairs for clients. I push Ben down in one of them and swat his hand away when he tries to yank me into his lap again.

Hux opens a drawer and sets down a thick stack of papers that look like a full-length novel. His desk is immaculate: not a speck of dust has settled on his computer, and his pens are all neatly organized by color in their cup. The room is quiet and cool and smells like leather and expensive cologne. It’s a little creepy. It’s _too_ perfect.

I eye the paperwork. “Uh… I didn’t realize Familiars had to fill anything out.”

 “Normal pairs do not.” Hux hands me a black pen and turns the papers in my direction. “Aberrant pairings are required to register with the federal government for the protection of the rest of us. But I wouldn’t despair: Alpha Familiars usually end up dead or jailed by the end of their first year together. If you can read, review these and sign them all.”

Ben slides down in his chair beside me, sinking to the floor like he’s melting, but I’m too focused on the paperwork to care. I glare at Hux as he smirks and watches Ben laughing to himself.

 “I’m a minor,” I say. “I won’t sign any of this.”

 “You’re an emancipated minor, but it doesn’t matter either way. When the Alpha bond presents you become legally responsible for each other and society washes its hands of you.”

 “Excuse me?”

Hux folds his hands in his lap and leans back. “If one of you commits a crime, you’re both charged with the crime. You’re required to live together, you cannot cross state lines without each other… Really, if you can’t read—”

 “I can read perfectly fine, thank you,” I retort, “but I don’t understand why I’m supposed to be legally responsible for this mess.” I point to Ben, who’s singing under his breath on the floor. “And I’m not living with him—why the hell am I expected to live with him? Other Familiars don’t have to.”

 “Your unnatural bond is a threat to society.” Hux plucks the information from Maz out of my hand and slaps it down on top of the paperwork. “Let me explain it to you, since comprehension is not your strong point.”

I swipe the paper and glower at Hux before I start reading.

* * *

  ** _The Alpha-Alpha Familiar Bond and You: A Brief Guide_**

* * *

  _Right now you probably have a lot of questions:_

  * _“How did this happen?”_
  * _“Is this normal?”_
  * _“What can I expect?”_



_Familiar bonds between two Alphas are uncommon, but nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. All Familiars are valid, and current legislature is beginning to reflect this. As with all Familiar bonds, no one is entirely sure how they happen or why they happen, but we do know they’re normal and out of our control._

_Generally, Alpha Familiars are a ‘dynamic’ bonded pair. Emotions and thoughts are constantly in flux and prone to change without warning. Unfortunately, due to the highly variable nature of this pairing, little is known about long-term outcomes. Trends and various theories are outlined below, but keep in mind that you and your Familiar may have a different experience._

**_1\. Heat Cycles & Fertility:_ ** _Females of all presentations go through heat cycles. In Betas, this is a typical period. In Omegas, it is a predictable and dramatic display that can become life-threatening and typically requires suppressants to maintain quality of life._

  * _Alpha females do not have cyclical heat. It often occurs without warning and suppressants can be ineffective. You will likely feel the need to avoid your Familiar during heat and sense a disconnect between the powerful urge to mate and your strong propensity for independence. Generally, it’s easier to control than the unmedicated Omega heat._


  * _Biological offspring between Alphas are quite rare. Females are often barren or successfully repel their male counterparts and the Alpha-Alpha pairing is usually between two males. Bed rest is necessary for much of the pregnancy._



**_2\. Rutting:_ ** _Males in this pairing are legally required to take medication to suppress their levels of testosterone. You will enter a state called ‘separation hysteria’ if separated from your Familiar during rut, and as with heat cycles in Alpha females, it is extremely unpredictable. Suppressants will help keep you and your Familiar safe, as well as the public. There is no equivalent experience for Beta males, but Omega males do undergo a less intense rut and suffer the same fertility problems as Alpha females._

  * _Alpha males undergoing separation hysteria have been known to commit violent crimes. Therefore, you will be legally required to cohabitate with your Familiar, register with the federal government, and remain near your Familiar. Medications cannot stop separation hysteria once it has begun. Simply reuniting with your Familiar reverses hysteria. If your Familiar has passed away, you will be institutionalized._


  * _Rutting can last from several hours to several days. It will always end after mating—with your Familiar. Know the location of your nearest crisis center if mating is not possible or you feel you’re entering separation hysteria. You will be placed under an involuntary hold until your Familiar collects you._


  * _Your rut does NOT entitle you to knotting your Familiar. Do NOT, under any circumstances, force yourself on your Familiar. It is a crime that carries a life sentence in prison and will cause severe psychological damage to both yourself and your Familiar. If you feel you have lost control of yourself, contact your local crisis center immediately._



_The Alpha-Alpha Familiar bond is unpredictable and can be very frustrating. It’s best to find a legal advisor whom you trust to navigate the various litigious and social issues you may face. Further information can be found at your local clinic or crisis center. Good luck and stay safe!_

* * *

Oh… God.

I stare at the sheet in dumb shock. The cartoony graphics of male and female and Alpha, Beta, and Omega symbols do nothing to soften the blow. My wide eyes shift to Ben lying prone on the floor and he gives me a goofy grin. Oh _no_.

Hux taps the stack of paperwork. “If you refuse to sign, you’ll both become wards of the state and be institutionalized. You’ll be thrown in a cage together and left to your own devices like the wild animals you are.”

Paige isn’t stuck with Galen. Rose isn’t stuck with Finn. The connection is there, but they can walk away from it or ignore it. I’m trapped with this strange man and I can’t get away from him, just like most Omegas. Ben will literally lose his mind if I up and leave, and other people will get hurt. He’s even more unpredictable than I feared.

Ben snatches the paper from my hand, yawning as his hazy eyes scan the information. My pulse roars in my ears while Hux keeps insulting us and points at the first page, ‘ ** _FEDERAL REGISTRATION’_**. I have to register with the government like I’ve committed a heinous crime; like this bond was my choice and it was the wrong one.

Ben laughs. “This is fucking bullshit. What’s the point of having a bitch Familiar if she can’t get pregnant? She’s just as useless as a male Omega.” He crumples the paper and throws it across the room, then covers his face and groans. “I am so _fricken_ _pissed_ , man.”

 “Good to hear you’re still alive down there, Solo,” Hux says, rolling his eyes. “If your Familiar won’t sign, you need to. I’m late for my lunch.”

I stand up quick and my chair clatters to the floor. Ben parts his fingers to look at me as I shake my head and take a step back.

 “I’m not doing this. This is not happening.” I keep shaking my head, backing toward the door. “I… I’m going to law school. I just graduated high school.”

 “No one’s stopping you from going to college,” Hux snaps. “Keep your Familiar on a leash, consummate the bond when you’re eighteen and become true mates, and obey the law. It’s as simple as that—you have more freedom than the average Omega. Now one of you needs to sign this paperwork before I have you both institutionalized for the night.”

Ben sits up abruptly when I grope for the door handle. My ears ring as I struggle to open the door without looking away from him as he tries to stand up. Hux picks up the phone and smiles at me.

 “I’ll sign!” Ben snaps, ripping the phone from Hux’s grasp. His dark eyes flicker to me. "You’re starting to cycle, Rey. You need to stay here where it’s safe. After this we can go back to my place—”

 “I don’t need you to protect me,” I hiss, “and I’m not going back to your seedy fucking apartment! Fuck you and fuck this—I’m not doing it!”

Ben takes a sharp step toward me, bristling like I am. “You’ll do what I tell you to do!”

I scrunch my face up angrily and throw open the door with a dramatic flair, then keep my eyes glued to his as I turn and leave with my middle finger in the air. Ben flings the other chair across the room and storms after me but stops in the doorway when Hux barks “PAPERWORK!” We glower at each other until I almost smack my face off the door back to the waiting room.

I turn to push it open with my back and narrow my eyes. “You better stay the hell away from me. I’ve got another can of mace with your name on it.”

Ben jerks forward a step, seizing the doorframe. “I’m being nice to you, you bitch!”

I edge into the waiting room with both middle fingers in the air. Ben looks like he honestly wants to kill me, so I give him a smug smile on my way out. Kill this, _bitch_.

Isaac the nice receptionist gives me a vial of oblong green pills. The little voice telling me to make a nest has been oddly quiet, but I still pop one of the suppressants on my way out the door. I take a stack of brochures and booklets about Alpha-Alpha Familiars to read at home.

It’s a quiet walk back. I flip through one of the brochures, strangely at peace with how things are unfolding. I can still go to college and I have my suppressants like I wanted. Ben has no legal power over me and can’t tell me what to do, which was my greatest fear next to losing my mind during heat. If he attacks me it’s a crime like it would be in any other scenario. I’m an Alpha—I won’t be ignored.

My presentation makes a lot of sense. I’ve always been fiercely protective of Rose, especially after she presented, and being around Alpha males makes me irritable and tense. But it’s not the ‘natural’ presentation for a woman and most Alpha males can’t stand their female counterparts. They consider Omega women to be ‘normal’ and everyone else, including Beta women, abnormal.

I have to be ready for negative reactions. They’ve never bothered me, though.

The apartment is empty when I get back. I kick my shoes off and switch to Googling while I make myself a grilled cheese with tomato soup. Paige won’t be home until five, and I have no clue where Rose and Jessika went off to. I want to wait to tell them the news—it’s not text-appropriate and they’ll have a ton of questions. I’ll prep myself first.

 “You’ll do what I tell you to do,” I mock in a high-pitched voice. I dump soup in a pot and roll my eyes. “Fat fucking chance of that.”

I wouldn’t’ve made it as an Omega. Not all of them are quiet, submissive, gentle people, but society makes it hard for them to be anything else. It gets worse when they’re under an Alpha’s thumb. The nightmare I had about waking up with bruises all over my arms wasn’t that far removed from reality. Assault between traditional Familiar Alpha-Omega pairs is considered normal.

Googling confirms what I already know for the most part. My bond with Ben is considered unnatural and pretty widely reviled. There’s quite a few articles about Alpha males flying into separation hysteria and committing murder and assault until their Familiar is found. If the Familiar is dead or gone for more than a week, the Alpha male becomes feral and has to be ‘put down.’

My stomach turns as I sip my soup. _Put down._ Being murdered for a bond you can’t control with a person you might not even like. Why has no one found a drug to stop the hysteria? It can’t be impossible. Hux mentioned that most pairings don’t make it through the first year… Maybe the government figures we’ll kill each other and solve the problem for them.

 “REY! Open the fucking door!”

I jump in surprise and almost fall out of my chair. My soulmark tingles from Ben’s presence and urges me towards him pounding on my door like a lunatic. I ignore it and scowl as the door shakes and rattles, more pissed off than afraid.

 “If you break it down, you’re paying for it!” I call, flipping through another brochure.

 “I can taste your change in cycle,” Ben snaps, “and someone’s coming by later to make sure we’re not separated. I’m not going back to jail because you’re being a difficult—”

 “Okay, then sleep out there. I don’t need to let you in here. We can be twenty feet apart.” I shove the rest of my grilled cheese in my mouth and lick my fingers. “Take your pill and piss off. And quit tasting my hormones, you creep.”

Ben kicks the door and growls. “I can taste it on the roof of my mouth, just like you can. Now let me in so I can take care of you, bitch.”

 “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

 “I can’t stand my mother.” The handle wriggles.

I widen my eyes, reading lazily, resting my chin in my palm. “Wow, really? I’d have never guessed.”

Ben falls silent. I glance at the door one more time before hopping out of my chair. The dishwasher’s full so I pop it open and work on getting the clean dishes put away. A sitcom runs in the background and I turn on the radio on the counter to keep me company. My mind buzzes with the urge to go to Ben, but it’s easy enough to ignore. Just have to keep myself busy and—

The front door bangs open, thudding against the wall as Ben storms toward me. I’m not afraid, but I’m fucking furious. I bristle and throw a plate at his head, which he ducks to dodge, advancing around the island with a murderous look on his face. This time I snatch a fork and stand at the other end of the island with it brandished like a weapon. Ben grasps his side and growls.

 “Get out!” I demand, waving my fork.

 “You think I want to be stuck with an Alpha female?!” He edges around the island, glowering at me. “It’s embarrassing. Every other Alpha goes home to a barefoot Omega cooking dinner and begging to be knotted. You’re sterile and unfeminine and you don’t need me the way you’re supposed to!”

My anger saps out of me in the blink of an eye and the little voice wails. _no—no—alpha doesn’t want us—alpha doesn’t want us—alpha doesn’t want us!!_ It ripples with pain and keens. _failure, failure!! ah—make nest. ?!?please alpha?!?_

Tears well up in my eyes and I teeter back. My lower lip quivers as a new, powerful emotion washes over me and takes away my fury. Sterile, unfeminine… not natural. I’ve never been close enough to a man to feel rejection, and I begin to realize that I’m kind of a freak now. What if I can never have kids? Am I really unfeminine? Will anyone trust an Alpha female lawyer?

Ben scratches his head, eyeing me, and huffs. “I’m sorry. That was mean.” His lips shift like he’s chewing on something and he groans. “Look, I’m older than you and at this point I have certain expectations from women, so… it’s not supposed to be personal. This is weird for both of us, and—” He pauses and parts his lips, huffing again.

I watch Ben drift away from the island and stalk down the hallway. The little voice screams at me to follow him, desperate to get back in his good graces, but I resist. I shuffle towards the hall and peer down it to see him nudge my bedroom door open and peer inside. He takes more deep breaths.

  _ah—Ben. alpha male. he will help with nest. go go go go go go go!!_

Fuck no; I’m not making a nest! I keep my eye on Ben with my arms crossed as he walks into my room, looking around with his eyebrows furrowed. It makes my head tingle in a weird way and I figure it can’t hurt to try making a nest. Right?

I wander closer. Ben wanders to my bed and strips it without a word, drawing an irritated hiss from me. I don’t like him touching my stuff and rearranging it—not at all.

 “Stop!” I snap, stomping into my room.

 “This isn’t safe enough.” Ben wraps my comforter and sheets in a ball and pushes my closet open, peeking inside. “…This will do, I guess.”

He takes my hand and kicks my shoes and boxes out of the closet. I splutter and protest as Ben walks inside, crouching, and starts fanning my blankets on the floor. He pushes me down when I try to follow and gathers my pillows, stuffed animals, and literally every other soft object I own. I feel a paradoxical mix of pleasure and irritation. I like the nest, I think, but I wanted to make it myself.

Ben kneels beside me and pushes everything around, arranging it how he likes. He hums at first but I hear it turn into a purr that thrums in his throat. I want to be mad—I really do—but I just feel pleased. I glance at his hooded dark eyes and down to his enormous hands. My pulse quickens. He can protect me. I can rest… Maybe I don’t need to be in control…

 “Rey? Are you home?”

Ben snarls and grabs me before I recognize the voice. They mingle for a minute, then I hear steps down the hallway and chatter. I part my lips and taste Alpha on the roof of my mouth. I growl like Ben and sink lower into his arms, settling in his lap and shifting to attack. My nest. My nest. This is MY nest!

Poe’s stupid face appears first, quickly followed by Jess, Rose, and Finn. They all blink in shock at Ben and I huddled in the closet and I keep my teeth bared. I can barely think straight. I want them to get away from my safe place and get away from my Familiar.

I can taste Rose. I part my lips to bring her scent along my mouth again, and I make a bizarre huffing sound, leaning against Ben’s forearms to get a better whiff. She shrinks away, hiding behind Finn.

Poe bursts out laughing and shakes his head. “Oh my god—I should’ve expected something disgusting like this from you, Rey.”

The insult ignites my fragile Alpha temper. I launch myself at Poe Dameron, just like I always wanted to.


	5. Vis Major

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i own tarantulas and my favorite thing is that males have to be super careful when they try to mate, because the female will literally kill them (praying mantises also do this--they'll bite the head off their suitor if he doesn't get away fast enough)
> 
> so i thought it'd be fun to have shades of that in here lmao  
> just... without heads being *literally* bitten off  
> figuratively??? YES
> 
> oh also, if you haven’t read my stuff before, it’s usually lots of movement and action because I hate padding with inner monologues no one cares about reading

Poe is too surprised to catch me, and we tumble to the floor in a tangle of flailing limbs and snarls. Jess shrieks and grabs Rose, who then grabs Finn’s arm, and everyone starts talking at once. I can taste the Alpha scent in the room and it’s driving me _insane._ My pulse roars in my ears and I fight on instinct, clawing for Poe’s throat with my teeth bared like a wild animal. He growls and I hiss as we roll from side to side, struggling to pin each other.

Finn backs up with Rose behind him and eyes Ben warily as he withdraws back into the closet with a low rumble in his chest. I don’t need his help. Poe is a bit bigger than me, but I’m lean and strong. Ben will defend the nest. Defend the nest—that’s all that matters. Protect the nest at all costs.

  _kill. the. threat._

Adrenaline courses through my veins and gives me the boost I need to wrestle Poe on his back. I pin him by the throat, slamming his head back down when he tries to get up, and he kicks his feet. My thighs straddle his hips; he can’t get away from me. I squeeze his throat with both hands and he scratches at my wrists, dark eyes widening. I might kill him. Maybe.

  _kill the threat—kill the threat—kill the threat—_

 “Rey, stop!”

I whip my head around just as Ben wraps his arms around my waist. He pulls me off Poe, kicking and screaming, and I manage to wriggle free near the closet. My skin feels hot and sensitive; I scramble to the safety of the nest, away from the oppressive smell of other Alphas. Ben crouches in front of the door as I draw back into the darkness, hissing like a cobra. There’s too much Alpha in the room. It’s overwhelming. They all feel like a threat to me.

He glances back. “She just needs a minute to get used to it. It’s a lot at once and too close to the nest for her first cycle.” Then his dark eyes turn to me and he smirks. “Fierce little bitch, aren’t you?”

Jessika glares at the back of Ben’s head. “And who the hell are _you?”_

 “Ben Solo,” Poe wheezes. “We were neighbors growing up. Don’t tell me that thing in the closet is your Familiar, Ben.”

Ben crawls in the closet with me and I tense up, tuned in to instincts that scream _HE’LL SLOW YOU DOWN._ I narrow my eyes and huff in warning as I slowly shift away from my Familiar. I know what he wants. He can make nests and suck up to me all he wants, but pregnancy is dangerous and will drain all my energy and resources. He has to give me something much better than a nest.

Ben stares at me, but talks to my friends. “Yeah, she is. I’ve never fucked an Alpha bitch, so—”

Jessika’s furious face pops up around the door. “My friend is not a bitch and you’re not fucking her! You’re making Rose nervous so maybe you should leave!”

 “They’re Familiars, Jess,” Poe says, still short of breath. “It’s not that simple.”

 “Alpha Familiars,” Finn chips in. “Here, let me show you all the paperwork they have to fill out. It’s nuts—legally they’re almost considered the same person, to make them easier to track. We learned all about it last semester.”

I wedge myself in the corner of the closet as Ben creeps closer. We growl at each other, both motionless for a minute, then he pounces.

My hands catch his in midair, threading our fingers, and I shove Ben on his back the same way I did to Poe. I hiss in his face like a pissed off cat and he tries to push up, but I’m _strong._ He writhes under my thighs straddling his hips until I let go and slip away in one fluid movement. Ben sits up, breathing hard and staring at me with a small smile on his lips. I glare back at him, defensive but intrigued. My mind is spinning out of control and running on instincts that override common sense.

Jess frowns. “Women can be Alphas? Huh. Guess if it’s anyone it would be Rey.” Then she smiles and edges into the closet. “Okay, Rey, you can chill out—”

I get just past Ben before he catches me around the waist. Jess yelps and jumps out of the closet into Poe’s arms as I drag myself halfway out with Ben struggling to control me. He pins my palms down, knotting his fingers in mine, and uses his weight to push my stomach to the floor. I claw at the carpet and yowl like an animal, and everyone looks horrified except for Poe. He sets Jess down and laughs at me. I want my nest—I want everyone to leave it alone!

 “Get out!” Ben snaps. His voice is deeper than normal; the ‘Alpha voice.’

Rose hasn’t said a word. Finn has to pick her up and carry her out, trembling, and Jess pushes back when Poe drags her along to the door. I bristle until the bedroom door shuts, then my temper turns on Ben lying on top of me. He’s heavy as hell and I want my fucking nest back. I have adjustments to make and it needs to smell like me, and needs lining, and needs a barrier to keep Ben from wandering in when I don’t want him there. He needs to bring me _more._ If he can’t provide, what the fuck do I want with him?

  _mm—ben must provide—_ The little voice agrees with me. _need fur. need lining. need food—lots of food—fresh water—barriers—kill other alphas_

Ben laughs, panting in my hair. “Jesus Christ, Rey. Usually Omegas drag me into the nest but you’re trying to beat the shit out of me. I’m not gonna lie, it’s kind of turning me on.”

I bite down on his hand without warning. Ben swears and loosens his grip, giving me the room I need to jerk my elbow into his ribs. I throw him off my back and spin around as he sits up with another irritating grin. His bright brown eyes watch raptly as I back into the closet on my hands and knees, glowering. Stay out unless you have something to offer.

He puckers his lips like he’s thinking, then gets to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”

All I can do is make various grunts and growls. I silently watch Ben leave the room before creeping out of my nest again to perfect it.

The chest at the foot of my bed has extra sheets and fluffy winter coats. I rip them open to get to the down feathers inside and carefully arrange them in tufts around the far end of the nest. That’s where the pups go. They need extra warmth and safety. I can nurse there, too, in the quiet darkness. Ben can stay near the entrance and watch for danger.

I’m a bit hysterical. I scour my bedroom for more soft stuff and whimper when I can’t find anything. More; I need _more,_ but it isn’t safe to venture out of my bedroom. I chew my nails and pace, agitated. It has to be perfect. If it’s not perfect, it means pregnancy is even more dangerous, and I can’t take the risk. The pups will die and that means I spent nine months and endless energy for no output. It’s not logical. It isn’t energy efficient.

The door clicks open and I race back to the closet. I settle near the door with my legs crossed and peer outside to see Ben edging inside. He smiles a little, but I’m more interested in the very soft blankets he has over his arm. My thoughts turn into a flurry of pleasure and excitement as he comes closer.

Ben kneels near the door and I move back to watch carefully while he arranges the blankets. I take each one before he does to smell it and feel the fabric on my cheek. Some are better for the pup bed and I snatch them away with a warning growl, but others are too rough and of better use up front. Ben sets them in place and looks around with his eyebrows raised.

 “This is… ornate.” He drapes his hands in his lap and nods toward me. “What’re you doing over there?”

I don’t look up. “For pups.”

 “Oh—pups, also known as human babies to the rest of us. Guess you _are_ in heat.” Ben picks at the blanket he’s sitting on and his throat bobs. “Soooo… I know you’re a hair irrational right now, but we don’t know how often you’ll cycle, and we need to make this official when you turn eighteen, so…”

 “No mating!” I spit. “Must be perfect!”

 “Looks pretty good to me,” he mutters, widening his eyes. “Alright, what the fuck else do you want, Rey? A fucking bassinet? Collars? Fuckin’ flea and tick drops?”

Ben doesn’t get it and I don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to tell him. He should know. He’s the male; he’s supposed to provide until the pup weans, then he takes over care. Toddlers aren’t my responsibility. That’s his problem.

When I don’t respond, Ben clenches his jaw. He leans toward me and I stiffen, shooting him a sharp glare. I crawl quickly across the blankets and arch on my knees to loom over him and keep my eyes on his. His jaw shifts like he’s thinking again, then he grabs the back of my head and pushes me into a kiss.

My body and brain react in total contradiction. First I grab the front of Ben’s shirt and twist, leaning closer and slipping my tongue in his mouth. I want him. He’s big and strong and _mine._ But my rational side, maybe the Alpha clarity, feels sick at the thought of wasting time and energy on a weak mate and dead pups. I drag him closer and he groans, pushing me on my back in the soft blankets.

It’s dark and quiet, which is ideal for mating, but not what comes after. I’m a virgin, but my calculating mind knows that much. I hold Ben’s hips off mine with my knees and kiss him as best as I can, mostly just enjoying the taste. He grabs my calf to move it out of his way and I scramble back.

 “Ah ah ah,” he chastises in a gravelly voice. Ben crawls right after me and moves on to kissing my neck. “Presents come at a price.”

It feels good. My skin tingles where his lips brush my skin, wet and soft, and the urge to give in to him is strong. But I give him a warning growl, squirming away from his mouth, and grit my teeth when he tries to unbutton my jeans.

Furious, I try to lash out at his face. Ben growls deeper than me and flips me over on my stomach. His fingers hook over the rear hem of my jeans to drag me underneath him. Then he pushes his calloused palm up the back of my shirt and gently traces my spine with his fingertip. I dig my nails into the blankets and tremble with rage. This is the pup space. Mating doesn’t happen here—especially with a mate who can’t provide.

Ben leans over me and murmurs in my ear as he slowly runs a fingertip along the inner hem of my jeans. “Looks like I _am_ going to have to pin you down, jailbait.”

I twist underneath him and slap him hard across the face. Ben blinks down at me in shock. I seize his cheeks in one hand and squeeze them together, yanking his face close to mine.

 “Get out of my nest,” I hiss.

Ben keeps staring as I draw my legs up and kneel, pushing him back by his face and glaring up at him. I shove him out when we get to the closet door and he falls back on his palms. His chest rises and falls as we watch one another. I keep my hands on my hips, well aware of my T-shirt above my belly button, showing off my tight, tanned stomach.

He swallows. “What else do you want?”

 “You should know!” I snap. I point an accusatory finger at him. “ _Your_ responsibility!” I rest on my heels and nod sharply. “No pups until all is perfect.”

 “Got bad news for you about the _kids,_ since your heat makes you a raging, irrational bitch.”

I huff and lean out of the closet to drag my desk in front of the door. It blocks it off for the most part, but leaves a small space to crawl underneath. Ben stands over it and leans on the top with an eyebrow raised. I drape a sheet over the crawl space and hum, pleased with the result. Too small for Ben to enter.

 “What the hell is this going to do?” he laughs. “I can literally just—”

I jerk to my feet and snarl, clawing over the desk for Ben’s face. He stumbles back and falls over the edge of my bed, eyes wide and surprised.

My throat vibrates with a warning sound. I glower and dig my nails into the wooden desk.

 “Get. Out.”

Ben mutters but does what he’s told. I keep an eye on him until the bedroom door shuts, then sink back to my nest to fix the damage Ben did. Useless Alpha male. Only good for one thing.


	6. Ferae Naturae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know why they're both so sassy but
> 
> i’ve gone 30k words before without the main characters even kissing so BUCKLE UP KIDS LMAO

 “Hey, Cujo—I brought you something.”

My ears ring and I groan at the sound of Ben’s voice. Ugh… I feel like I got hit by a train. I clutch my head and tug a blanket over myself, curling into the comfy nest of softness I made, and hope he’ll just go away. I’d rather go to jail than live with him, honestly. He’s a dick—and he’s old.

The recent memory of our kiss comes back to me and my cheeks burn. Gross. That’s how I know I wasn’t in my right state of mind.

 “Go away!” I call, muffled by my blanket.

Something creaks. “Permission to enter the Thunderdome?”

I scowl and peer out of blankets, and see Ben leaning over my desk into my closet. He gives me a sarcastic wave and rests his chin on his palm, eyebrows raised. I can smell food… Chicken and steak, greasy and fresh with herbs and spices. My stomach rumbles and I sit up miserably in the semi-darkness. I’m not completely insane now, but I still feel a vague sense of uneasiness around Ben. That’s probably just my _common fucking sense_.

He beckons me with one long finger, smiling smugly. “You look hungry.”

As much as I want to insist I’m not, my stomach gives a painful twist to remind me I’m a goddamn liar. I throw off the blanket and crawl to the desk on my hands and knees, which Ben enjoys watching a bit too much, then kneel in front of him. I’ve got a hold of myself now, but the reptilian part of my brain is happy as a pig in shit to see he brought me food. I mull over taking an extra suppressant and give Ben an expectant look.

He purses his lips and eyes me with a brow raised. I lean back on my heels and fold my arms, petulant as ever, but not insane enough to hiss and spit. He sets a white plastic bag on the desk after another minute and nods towards the nest.

 “Let me in.”

 “Why?” I ask without missing a beat.

Ben rolls his eyes. “Jesus Christ, Rey; just fucking let me in. I brought your crabby ass food.”

 “So? You’re supposed to.”

 “I swear to god, I’ll stand here and eat it all in front of you.” He opens the bag like he’s making good on the threat. “I’m not fucking GrubHub.”

We’re both stubborn, so we glare at each other for another minute before Ben opens a styrofoam container in the bag. I keep my arms crossed and pretend I don’t care when he stares directly into my eyes and shoves an entire chicken tender in his mouth. My room falls silent and Ben’s passive-aggressive chewing ramps up the tension. I tap my fingers on my bicep. I’d like to punch him square in the face.

But I’m also _really_ hungry. I move back on my knees and nod tersely in a way that’s supposed to give Ben permission to enter. I don’t care if he does; now I’m just determined to piss him off as much as possible. We’re ‘equals’ in the way that Omegas want so desperately, and Ben is one of the most obnoxious, misogynistic Alphas I’ve ever met. I’ll torture him. For… civil rights. And whatnot.

He drags the desk out of the way, muttering ‘wow, that was hard’ under his breath, but I choose to ignore it. Ben drops the bag in front of me like I’m a wild animal getting fed at the zoo and I descend on it like a wild animal getting fed at the zoo. I wedge myself in the corner and shove chicken in my mouth while Ben pulls the barricade back in place. Something appreciates watching the muscles tense in his back, but it’s not _me_ thinking that. Probably.

I wolf down the strips of steak and watch Ben inspecting my handiwork. He sits in the place meant for the baby I won’t be having and it incites some maternal rage in me. I growl before I can stop it and he rolls his eyes and moves to the other side of the closet to sit near me.

  _useless alpha male…_

Ben leans on the wall and scratches his head. “So, where are you going to school?”

 “MIT, then transferring out for law school.” I pick through the chicken again, shredding it with my sticky fingers. “Harvard is down the street, so I want to go there, but…”

 “Neat. Going to save all the Omegas from themselves?”

I snort. “No, save them from _you._ ”

Ben gives me an incredulous look. “Doesn’t this whole thing—” He gestures to the closet “—show you that nature can’t always be ignored? Some things are the way they are for a reason, no matter how many pills you pop or laws you pass.”

Yeah, right—easy for an Alpha male to say. I ignore him and finish the rest of my lunch, and toss the empty bag at his head. He swats it away and watches me suck the salt off my fingers.

I get to my second hand when Ben suddenly seizes my wrist and tries to drag me to him. But I pull back and he braces himself with a palm on the wall, still wrestling with me struggling to free my wrist. He kneels between my knees, looming over me, and casually sucks my middle finger in his mouth. I glare up into his dark eyes and my ears get hot.

I arch my knee to push my foot on his hard stomach. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be? Like passed out in a ditch?”

My finger pops out of Ben’s mouth with a gross wet sound and I wipe it off on his shirt. He grabs my ankle and yanks my foot off him, so I quickly switch to my other one. Ben pins both feet to the blankets and shifts closer as I resist the urge to shrink into my corner. I’m not afraid of him.

He smells like some douchey cologne, but I can pick up other trace scents on the roof of my mouth. I try to ignore it—the kind of sharp, spicy taste that makes my mouth tingle—and press my palm on Ben’s face when he leans in too far. He grunts and huffs, hovering halfway between my thighs until I start slowly pushing him away.

 “Go find a house to haunt!” I snap.

 “I can’t go anywhere unless you come with me.” His lips move on my palm, muffling his voice, and he licks me, making me squeal and slap him across the face. “What the _fuck_ —stop _fucking_ slapping me, Rey!”

 “Then stop being so creepy and getting in my space!”

 “Um… Rey?”

Ben turns and I peer over his shoulder. Rose is peeking in the closet, wringing her hands, and Finn is hovering behind her. He nods to Ben and waves to me and I scramble to my feet, shoving Ben aside by his head. He falls into the wall, as graceful as a six-legged ostrich.

Rose still smells odd, but I don’t feel the need to hiss and spit. I wriggle out of my nest and give her a hug, and feel her tense for the first time ever. She seems relieved when I let go and steps back as Ben fumbles his way out of the closet and stands next to me. I feel… strange. On edge, I guess.

 “Feeling better?” Rose asks tentatively.

I shrug. “Sort of. I’m just really sensitive.” I twist around to point my finger in Ben’s face. “ _Don’t_ make a comment.”

His mouth is half open and his shit-eating grin disappears. He mutters and jams his hands in his pockets.

Finn puts an arm around Rose’s shoulders. “Well… we’re going out. All the Alpha in here is making Rose nervous.”

Oh… right. I nod and twiddle my thumbs, watching Finn lead my best friend out of the room like he’s protecting her from me. Ben watches them until they’re gone down the hall, then looks down at me.

 “It’s nothing personal,” he says.

I glance up at him and snort. “What, you think I’m jealous or something? It probably smells like her worst nightmare in here.”

Ben cocks his head. “I don’t know if you’re necessarily jealous, but I _can_ tell that you’re upset. They’re an Alpha and an Omega and they’re Familiars. She’s going to depend on him now instead of you. So… just letting you know that it’s nothing personal. It’s nature.”

 “Yeah, whatever,” I snap. “You can preach your nature bullshit at the pulpit Sunday.” I block off the nest again and take stock of the damage to my room. “Rose and I are best friends. We’ve been through everything together and we’ll get through this.”

Ben just shrugs.

Poe is sitting on the couch with Jessika when I walk down the hall with Ben on my heels. Paige pops up out of the kitchen and runs over to hug me, ignoring the Omega instinct that keeps Rose at bay. But Paige isn’t attached to her Familiar like Rose is to Finn.

 “Rey!” Paige crows. “I’m so glad you’re okay! Rose called me at work and said you were going through the change and met your Familiar, so I hurried home.” She holds my hands and looks up at Ben expectantly. “So… this is Ben Solo?”

 “Unfortunately,” I mutter.

Paige checks out my soulmark and tries to touch Ben’s while he swats her away and turns in circles. Jess gets up to help with dinner and Poe makes a few rude jokes at my expense. It’s almost a normal night in the apartment, save for Ben being there and Rose being absent. I miss her terribly. I’m worried Finn will take advantage of her and it makes me see red.

I’m still hungry enough to eat an entire dinner after wolfing down chicken and steak. Jess sits on Poe’s lap and feeds him while I chat with Paige about my plans to finish school the same way I intended. She’s prepared like always with print-outs and books for me and says Galen knows a lawyer who specializes in the rights of Familiar Alphas, who also happens to be a female Alpha. I want to find a support group or something before I strangle Ben to death.

 “Her name is Phasma?” I echo. “That’s bizarre.”

Paige nods. “She’s intense, too. I guess you have to be, right? Anyway, Galen can set something up next week if you want to meet her.”

 “I’ve met her,” Ben interjects. “She’s a bitch.”

I give him a dirty look, nibbling on a carrot, trying to let my stare do all the talking. But Ben keeps an innocent frown on his face, and I narrow my eyes, frowning back sarcastically.

 “Y’know, we should make a drinking game where we take a shot every time you needlessly call a woman a bitch.” I chew and cock my head. “But just you drink. So you’ll die.”

 “I’ve had my stomach pumped before and I’ll do it again,” Ben drawls, sipping his ginger ale.

Paige widens her eyes. “Charming.”

Jessika leaves with Poe and Paige goes out for drinks with Galen and some other friends. I know they’re all trying to be polite and give Ben and I space, but it’s the last thing I want. I stand in the middle of the living room with my arms crossed and glower up at him, and he gazes back down at me with his head tilted like he’s mildly interested.

I press my lips together. “How does it feel to be spending your Friday night with a teenager?”

 “Super.” Ben wanders out to the kitchen and picks through the cabinets. “I could be out picking up drunk girls but here I am, listening to you complain. Does Paige have any booze?”

 “No, she has better things to do than get drunk.”

 “Well, you’re no fun.” He yawns and heads to the door. “I’m going to get wine or something. You want anything?”

 “ _I’m seventeen._ ”

Ben laughs, tapering off into a groan as he walks out. “Oh my god, _shut up.”_

I storm off to my room after the door shuts. If he comes back drunk, I’m calling the goddamn police. He’s not my problem.

…Except he is.

Muttering, I throw on a loose T-shirt and shorts. If he gets drunk and gets in a fight or something, I’m screwed, too. I slip into my flip flops and grab my keys on my way out the door. There’s a liquor store down the block, but if he’s in a bar I’ll have to call Paige.

I’m a little nervous walking around during my bizarre version of heat. Hopefully I’m not appealing to anyone. Ben seems to be losing interest, which is a good thing. We can work something out like Galen and Paige—and we don’t even have to be friends. I’ll take one floor of the apartment, he can take the other, and we’ll never see each other. Foolproof.

It’s dark and muggy outside. I step under a street lamp and text Rose, but feel weird letting her know I’m going out to find my Familiar. She’s probably busy. I don’t want to bug her.

  _return to nest._

The little voice chimes in to my inner thoughts. I huff irately and shake my head to make it shut up.

It gets louder. _return. to. nest._

I know it’s just going to start screaming at me soon. My chest tightens anxiously as I suddenly feel naked being so far away from the closet, and I hurry upstairs as fast as I ran down. The voice chants louder and louder until I’m back in my bedroom and slam the door shut.

My skin prickles with an itch I can’t scratch. I peel off my clothes in the darkness as sweat beads on the back of my neck. I’m trying to do what the voice wants, but it keeps on talking.

  _darkness—ah. wait for ben—ideal time to mate._

 “No,” I mutter, trembling, “no fucking way.”

I feel a dull heaviness in my lower abdomen as I stumble into my bathroom and almost fall on the floor. It creeps across my mind like a blanket, trying to snuff out my rationality and drive me to do something I don’t want to do. I’m not doing it. I’ll do anything to keep my autonomy and dignity.

The voice echoes in my ears as I fling open the medicine cabinet, spilling Tylenol and Claritin in the sink. I paw through until I find Benadryl and pop three, hoping I’ll be freed from the unwelcome urges when I pass the fuck out. I take an extra suppressant for good measure and slide down to the bathroom floor, totally naked, wrestling with the whispering thing telling me what to do.

I tangle my fingers in my hair and squeeze my eyes shut. I’m not doing it. I’m not doing it. I’m not doing it. I’ll fall asleep and forget everything.

 “Rey? The fucking liquor store is closed.”

The sound of Ben’s voice sets my skin alight all over again. I bite down on my lower lip until I draw blood, and hear him walk into the bedroom. He shuffles around, looking for me, then pauses. My pulse throbs in my ears. I hope he doesn’t know where I am.

The bathroom door thuds lightly and I hear Ben moving just outside it. He takes a sharp breath through his mouth and I realize with mild terror that he’s smelling me. He can taste the change happening in _my_ body. It feels like a violation.

He hums deep in his throat. “It’s starting.” The handle jiggles. “Do you need me, Rey?”

I don’t answer. I crawl into the bathtub, quivering, and bring a towel with me for a blanket. I won’t give him the satisfaction of being needed. My eyes get heavy fast and I stop listening to Ben tempting me to open the door.

Useless Alpha male.


	7. In Flagrante Delicto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> strange dubcon-esque chapter  
> also yes miggs is quoted in this chap

The Benadryl knocks me out, but I wake up with the same heavy pressure in my lower abdomen. I moan and shift in the tub as I come to with my ears ringing at a skull-splitting pitch. Oh god… I’m so hot but freezing cold at the same time, and the tub feels like a brick of ice on my skin. I’ve been sick plenty of times before, but this is the worst I’ve ever felt.

I _am_ sick. My own body is doing this to me—it’s like I have an autoimmune disease. That’s what heat should be classified as. It’s not fucking natural or healthy or safe and I have no control over it.

The frantic throbbing from my uterus is the same as period cramps, but this time my body is screaming at me to get fucked—literally. I groan and cling to my towel, too uncomfortable to get up, and breathe fast through my nose with my eyes closed. I’ll just ignore it until it goes away. It’s got to stop at some point. I can wait it out. There is no good goddamn way in hell I’m having sex with Creepy Ben. I’d rather fuck Poe at this point, and that’s saying something.

  _mm… mate Ben—big healthy pups!!_

I grit my teeth. “Shut the FUCK UP!”

The voice keeps going, like it wants to piss me off. _small pups from other alpha—Ben??? big pups. more steak, yes—meat—need more after mating…_

Weird sensations run up and down my forearms, like prickles of electricity. I sit up ramrod straight and feverishly scratch at my skin, tearing bloody divots along my arms as the sensation carries on. It buzzes up the back of my head and all I can see is me opening the door to let him in the bathroom. I tangle my fingers in my hair and yank as the voice rises into a frenzied state and urges me toward the door.

  _show throat—submit—lie on belly—present_

 “Get bent, you fucking cunt!” I spit.

  _mm—alpha knot. good stretch; good fill. mate. womb full of pups, belly full of steak, cunt full of cock. then we sleep sleep sleep eat eat eat nurse nurse nurse that is the prerogative that is the PURPOSE of us to be stuffed full and incubate and consume and bring new life STOP FIGHTING REY FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE_

I scramble out of the tub to get more Benadryl, not even worrying about overdosing and never waking up again. The voice prattles on about transforming cum and steak into pups and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I pop through the foil seal to down three more Benadryl, and instantly vomit them back up in the sink. Spittle hangs from my lips as I tremble and stare at the three pills smeared with bile.

I’m not in control of my own body. I have to be in control. It’s the only thing I own; it’s the only thing no one can take away from me. Shivering, I wipe off my mouth and hurriedly brushed my teeth to get the taste of puke out. My body is the only thing I can trust and it’s betraying me. Oh god. I just want to unzip my skin and step right out and leave the fleshy prison behind for Ben to hump as much as he wants.

A low groan drifts into the bathroom. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I slowly look to the door, already aware of who I’m hearing.

 “I can smell your cunt.”

I bristle at Ben’s rude words, but the other half of me likes his deep, hungry tone. The door handle jiggles and he groans again before thrusting his shoulder into it, making the frame rattle.

 “You’re going to break in here and rape me?!” I snarl. “I’ll claw your fucking eyes out!”

 “Open the door, jailbait. The officer is coming to check on us.” He drags his nails down the wood, panting. “I moved your nest to my place—don’t you want to make sure I did it right? Aren’t you hungry? I’ll feed you while you’re knotted.”

 “You’re not doing that to me!”

The door rattles again. I shrink away and ignore the chanting in my head as Ben laughs and huffs through his mouth. I can taste him, too. It’s the same spicy, tingling flavor from before, but… I don’t know if it’s so much a taste as a sensation. It makes my mouth prickle and water. My soulmark pulses.

 “I’m not going to make you do anything,” Ben says. “I don’t have to.”

The doorbell rings. Voices carry down the hall and someone I don’t recognize laughs. I don’t have any clothes and I’m sure the officer is going to want to see my face when they get here. Fuck— _fuck!_

  _mate moved nest????? safer location—live with mate??? what a thoughtful Ben we have—thoughtful alpha male—we will please him—take his seed…_

I get in the shower to wash the sweat off quick and the droplets of water feel like needles on my skin. I’m shivering when I’m through and quickly towel off. The fabric feels like sandpaper.

Ben’s deep voice picks up. “Rey’s in here. She’s in the middle of her heat and hiding from me.”

 “Ah, a shy one, is she?” The officer knocks on the door. “Come out, Miss Kenobi. I’d like to introduce myself. I’m Officer Mitaka.”

I clear my throat. “I’m, uh… nude. And I don’t trust Ben.”

 “Unlock the door and I’ll pass along some clothes.”

Ugh. The nape of my neck beads with sweat, but I edge up to the door with a towel wrapped around me. Trembling, I turn the brass lock and open the door a crack. A cool breeze drifts in and I can smell Ben even more, turning the voice into overdrive.

  _mate mate mate mate help me mate please please oh please breed me fill me with your seed give me pups fill my belly—_

As expected, the door bursts open and knocks me flat on my ass. I hardly have time to rearrange my towel before Ben steps inside.

He looks just as crazy as me. His hair is in a bun but black wisps frame his face and his shirt collar is all stretched from him pulling on it. He does it again while he stares down at me, fisting the material and rubbing across his left pec. My gaze flickers down to a plastic bag clenched in his other hand.

A short man with dark hair peeks around Ben’s huge arm and waves. “Good morning, Miss Kenobi. How is your first heat going so far?”

I want to slap his iPad out of his hand. Ben stares down at me and slowly drops to a crouch.

 “The suppressants aren’t helping!” I hiss. I point at Ben as he takes out Tupperware filled with food. “If he attacks me, I’m pressing charges!”

 “You’re well within your rights to do so. Mister Solo tells me you’re moving to his apartment instead of living here. I’ll come by at the end of the week to check on your progress. But I see the two of you are together as you’re legally required to be, so I’ll sign off with the government.”

Ben ignores Officer Mitaka as he waves and says goodbye. I’m left alone with my ‘soulmate’ in my bathroom and he can’t stop staring at me. I glower at him, wishing I could puff up like a cobra.

His throat bobs. “I brought more food. Thought you might be hungry.”

 “I’m not fucking hungry. Get away from me.”

Ben opens a container of strawberries and my stomach twists in anticipation. He pops one in his mouth and shifts onto his knees, edging closer to me. I growl in my throat and curl into a tighter ball, and he purrs back at me, like he’s calming down a pissed off cat. My pulse thunders in my ears as he comes closer and I become paradoxically aroused with anger and…

He pouts, looming over me on his knees. “It hurts, doesn’t it? The pressure in your stomach?”

 “Go to hell.”

 “I know what it feels like. Omegas like whining about it while they beg me to fuck them.”

Ben offers me the container of strawberries and I snatch them. He bends over to nose in my hair and I decide to let it go while I stuff my face. They’re sweet and juicy and I savor every seedy bite right down to the green stems, smearing my mouth with juices. It wakes my stomach up and I realize I’m starving, and there’s a pile of food two steps away.

Ben seems to pick up on my train of thought. His nose wanders down my cheek and he kisses the corner of my mouth and licks away the juice. I shiver and hold my towel tighter.

 “Want my shirt?” he mumbles.

I nod tersely. Any kind of protection works. He leans back and peels it off, then holds it over my head so I can slip into it. It’s enormous but warm and soft, and it smells like home and safety. Ben takes the towel to bury his face in it and I’m lost in the scent of the shirt for a moment, losing myself in it. The voice hums contentedly.

  _our mate provides…_

I shove Ben aside and crawl over to the food on all fours. He turns in an instant, too fast for it to be a rational thought, and grabs my hips. He yanks my butt to his groin, but backs off when I whirl around and snarl. I growl, eyeing him with his hands up in apology, then tear into the pile of food.

Ben sits behind me and pulls me between his thighs. He takes deep breaths along my jugular while I ignore him and rip open containers left and right. First I go for blueberries, shoving them in my mouth so fast that I almost choke. It’s so good; it’s so sweet. Juice runs down my fingers and I forget that I should be pissed off at the man sitting behind me. His fingers trace down my upper arm and he presses his other palm along my thigh, turning his wrist to grip the whole thing. It doesn’t bother me. I’m too busy gorging myself.

He whispers in my ear and I almost feel his wet lips. “I have more food for you at home, Rey—and your nest. I’ll bring you whatever you want. What do you like?”

 “Steak,” I grumble between bites. I feel oddly calm now and my eating slows down. “…I like peaches. Bananas. And I like blueberries.”

 “I see that. Want some help?”

I hesitate, but nod. Ben takes my elbow to guide my hand towards his mouth and sucks my fingers clean one by one. I go back to eating when he’s done and squirm at the soft brush of his lips on my neck. I chew on chicken and watch his long fingers skate up my inner thigh towards their apex, only covered by the hem of his shirt. He hasn’t mentioned my scratched-up forearms.

Ben’s husky voice murmurs into my hair. “Why don’t we go home, hm? You can take a warm bath, I’ll bring you more fruit, and we can rearrange your nest. That’s better than the bathroom floor, right?” He squeezes my thighs in both hands and presses his hard chest against my back. “I can make the pressure go away, too.”

My uterus contracts like it heard him and I moan in pain. What’s even the point of that? Just a dull reminder that my body is obsessed with getting knocked up? Ben coos sympathetically when I bend forward and he strokes my stomach.

I wince. “Friggen _hurts._ ”

 “I know—poor Rey.” He slips a hand under my shirt to trace my ribs with his index finger. “It’s going to feel good when we have sex, though. I’ll go slow. After I knot you, we can sleep in your nest and I’ll feed you as many blueberries as you want.”

I stiffen at the mention of sex. “I’m not—”

 “Shh,” Ben whispers, “shh. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. Let’s just go fix your nest. I’m sure I didn’t do it right.”

  _probably not,_ the voice agrees. _full belly… rest before mating. yes… rest… bath blueberries bedtime._

My eyes feel heavy now. The food helped bring down the raging fever, and I feel calmer with my skin touching Ben’s. All the tension is focusing under my belly button; not quite like being turned on, but close. I lean against his chest and pant, eyes roaming blindly, and he kisses my temple. His chest rumbles like he’s purring again.

 “Sleepy?” he asks. His voice is gentle and soft now, without the hungry edge it had before.

 “Mmf.”

Ben reaches past me to pile the Tupperware in the bag. I doze off for a split second and wake with a start, but Ben combs his fingers through my damp hair and murmurs in my ear and I relax again. He ties the bag off and helps me off the floor, catching me when I sway on my feet and almost fall. I lean on the sink and wash my hands while my head lolls to the side. Christ, why am I so tired?

Ben grasps my hips and smells my hair. He towers over me. I catch his eyes roll back while he noses around in my hair, and he tightens his hold over my hip bones, keeping me still as he gives an erratic thrust. My cheeks flood with heat at the telltale hard heat rubbing on my tailbone.

He yanks my wet hands out of the water and pins them to the counter. A squeak tickles my throat as Ben thrusts again, and bends his neck down to kiss along my throat. He squeezes my soaking fingers and sets a slow, steady pace against my backside. It makes my head spin—I sag into the counter and my head droops. I’m so sleepy… it feels like I got hit by a truck. Maybe I burned off too much energy the past few days.

Ben groans and steps closer. “Fuck—you smell so fucking good.” He kisses the back of my neck and runs the tip of his nose along my spine. “You’re a virgin, right?”

I nod. “Mhm.” Then I squirm my hips into his groin. “And I ain’t losing my virginity in the bathroom.”

 “You’re going to if you don’t stop doing that.”

 “Then you’ll lose your fuckin’ dick,” I mutter.

Ben laughs, stepping back from the counter, and lifts me up like a toddler. I drape my arms around his neck and lean my head on his shoulder. Thank god his boner is nowhere near my spread thighs, because I don’t have panties on and _that_ would be uncomfortable. But the little voice shivers with pleasure at the thought of me sliding down a few inches and letting Ben guide me up and down on the head of his—

 “Here.”

I blink, and find I’m on my back in my bed. Ben raises his eyebrows and I glance down. He’s holding open a pair of pink panties for me.

I grasp his shoulders and shift my hips as he tugs them up my legs, conveniently pushing the shirt past my stomach. He curls his fingers around my bare waist and leans closer to kiss me unsurely. His skin feels hot on mine, but it’s a good burn. I squeeze his shoulders and kiss him back with just as much trepidation.

Ben threads his fingers through my hair and pushes up to deepen the kiss. His tongue slides in my mouth and I grab his head too, struggling to get closer. My hormones kick up again and buzz around and I reach out with my feet, hooking them around the backs of his thighs. Ben staggers closer when I give a gentle tug and he works at his belt with both hands, still kissing me as I sink my nails into his hard, hot skin. Nice abs—he has _nice_ abs. He’s about to walk out in public with his shirt off and I want him to so everyone knows he’s fucking _me_ and nobody else. Mine. Mine.

 “ _Mine,_ ” I hiss against Ben’s lips.

  _ben is ours—ours—turn on belly—MATE_

I’m not turning on my fucking stomach. I claw at Ben and he flips me over anyway, dragging me back by my hips to his groin. My heart hammers and I feel delirious. I’m running on adrenaline. My gut feels heavy and empty and I want _him._

Ben holds my hips again, but this time I feel his cock on the wetness already soaking my panties. I hold on to the naked mattress and steadily lose the rational part of my brain as Ben begins rolling my hips. I’ve never felt a penis before, to be honest. I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like but his feels kind of big. I swallow and listen to his pants of pleasure. Never heard _that_ , either.

 “All I have to do it feed you, huh?” He slips his thumbs under the back hem of my panties and leans over to whisper in my ear. “How do you feel about losing your virginity in your bedroom?”

A wave of exhaustion washes over me with no warning. My excitement quickly turns into sleepiness again and I slur a response to Ben. He brushes my hair back and groans when he sees my eyes fluttering shut. Yup, I’m fucking tired. I need to sleep more.

He peels off my damp panties. “Fine, but I’m keeping these to jerk off with while you take your fucking nap.”

I feel him tug another pair up my legs before he scoops me up like a rag doll. Ben carries me with one arm and I manage to call him a douchebag before I fall asleep on his shoulder.


	8. Non Liquet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun NAAAAAAAAAAAA

 “Mitaka mentioned some aggression during his visit yesterday and suggested I check on you two. I don’t really care, but I’d hate to fill out more paperwork.”

The inner voice is gone and the pain has faded from my stomach. I wince as I slowly wake up in darkness, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket with food scattered around me. Oh, Jesus. The weird pressure is gone, but my gut feels like it’s about to explode.

Ben huffs. “She’s fucking sleeping. Her heat is over and I didn’t get laid, so if you’d kindly get the fuck out of my apartment—”

Feet come down the hall. I’m not in my own apartment or closet and I moan as I look around. It’s bigger. Everything is set up the same way I had it, but it looks like I pigged out on fruit. I’m too nauseous to get up so I just lie there in pain when the closet door opens and slams into the wall.

The lawyer Hux stands over me with a repulsed look on his face. Ben peers inside, shirtless and wearing gray sweatpants that hang low on his hips. He gives Hux a hard nudge with his elbow when he stares at me a little too long. Are my tits out or something?

 “Lovely,” Hux mutters. “Did you enjoy your heat, Miss Kenobi?”

I blink blearily and weasel a hand out to snatch a stray blueberry. Ben smirks and watches me chew and wriggle deeper into my blanket.

 “Great,” I croak sarcastically. “Nice and painful.”

 “Wouldn’t have been if you let me fuck you,” Ben drawls. He nudges Hux again. “Alright, you can fuck off now.”

Hux rolls his eyes and walks off without another word. Ben follows him to the door while I groan again and roll around in my blanket. Oh Christ. I let him rub his dick on me. Thinking about it makes me want to barf even more, so I give in to my stomach and make a beeline for the bathroom.

Except I don’t know where that is. I’m only wearing one of Ben’s shirts and it comes down to my knees, and I feel like an ass turning in confused circles. I check two doors before I find it and hurry inside just before the vomit comes up. I get to the toilet, thank god, and throw up all the food I shoved down my throat the night before. How did I eat so much?!

I brush my teeth with my finger and gargle when I’m done. Ben is outside with a handful of grapes and he chews with his mouth open, eyebrows raised.

 “I spent a lot of money on that puke.”

 “Only because you wanted to get laid,” I mutter.

Ben grins and follows me back to the bedroom. “Yeah, but you’re so much friendlier when you’re distracted by food.” He shrugs, chowing in his grapes. “You act really bizarre, too. Never seen anything like it, with the food and the hissing and the super strength. It’s hot as _fuck._ ”

The bedroom is big. His bed is stripped like mine and it looks like I took down his curtains, too. I glance at the posters on the blue walls, all from different bands, and his dresser with the drawers flung open. His clothes are strewn on the tan carpet and I realize I must’ve pillaged them in my haste to perfect the nest. What the hell?

Ben sits on the edge of the bed and yawns. “So, this is my apartment. Our apartment, I guess. You don’t have a job, right?”

I’m delirious, fresh off my first heat, and living with a strange man who is ten years older than me, and he’s asking me if I have a job. I pinch the bridge of my nose and exhale slowly. Don’t kill him, Rey. You can’t get away with it.

 “No,” I reply tightly, “but I get a stipend from school if you want help with the rent.”

 “Don’t need it.” He rubs the back of his head as he finishes eating. “…Anyway, I’m going out to the bar, so feel free to do whatever… you do. I’m kind of backed up from watching you the last few days. I won’t bring anyone back here, though.”

I clench my hands into fists. “You’re seriously going out to get fucking laid?! It’s one in the afternoon!”

 “No, Rey.” Ben stands and walks in front of me to put his hand on top of my head. “I’m going to get _drunk_ at one in the afternoon. I’ll probably get laid around like… four. Keep up.”

He heads into the closet to get a black shirt and jeans. I fold my arms and feel an unwelcome land of jealousy. Fine. I’ll go see Rose and Jessika. Sure they’ll be with Poe and Finn, but we’re all still friends, weird biological impulses aside. I drum my fingers on my bicep as Ben puts on deodorant and sprays cologne. He smells like a frat house. Douche.

I don’t even know where I am. Downtown, or uptown, or—am I even in Boston? Ben watches me get my phone and search for my panties. I turn and see him with them hooked over his index finger.

 “You can have them,” he says when I snatch them back. “I have another pair for jerking off purposes.”

 “Charming. I’ll set those on fire when I find them.” I check my messages and I’m a little offended not to find any. “Where are we?”

 “Three blocks from your old place.” Ben combs his fingers through his hair and ties it in a bun. “Your friend is too busy getting knotted to give a shit about you. Leave her be for like two weeks and she’ll be back to normal.”

I bristle. “She’s not having sex with Finn!”

Ben picks up his keys and laughs. “Yeah, right. Are you jealous? Do _you_ want to fuck her?”

 “No!” I snap. “She’s my best friend and I don’t want some gross Alpha pawing at her!”

 “She does.”

Anger flashes through me and I slap Ben across the face. He seizes my wrists and shoves me over the bed, bending me back at the hips. He easily pins my hands above my head and shifts his stance between my knees with a glib smile on his face. I twist my wrists, but the weird strength is gone. He’s twice my size and ten times stronger.

Ben leans closer and kisses the side of my mouth. I kick my legs and hitch my knees on his hips as he bends against the bed and kisses my neck. The weird growling is replaced with grunting as I try to get my dickhead Familiar off me. I’m not trying too hard, though.

He threads his thick fingers through mine. “Want me to stay here and paw at you?”

 “No thanks.”

 “Why not?” He shifts his stance and presses his groin against me, and I feel warmth and rough denim. “You liked this last night. We can start slow.”

 “No,” I snip.

Ben puffs irately and stands up. “Fine; whatever. I’ll be back tonight. Maybe.”

Before I can say anything else, he adjusts his pants and leaves the apartment. Good.

I slowly sit up and try to find my clothes. Ben has them in the bottom drawer, folded neatly, and I put on a blouse and skirt. He’s an asshole. Not necessarily an ugly asshole, but I’m not giving in to him, just because of the principle of the matter. He can do whatever he wants. I don’t care.

Rose and Jess have nothing to say, so I wander through the apartment. It’s alright, though not as nice as the one I had with the girls. The kitchen has a brick wall and older appliances with new linoleum counters, and it feeds into the living room with a seating area through a window. It’s cute, but Ben has awful décor. Nothing matches. The wood floors are in desperate need of a deep clean, too.

There’s a formal dining room with a bunch of crap stuffed inside and a small second bedroom that has a twin bed and nothing else. I’m already acquainted with the bathroom after barfing in it.

I don’t even know what Ben does for a living. I pick around his apartment to find clues and figure out that it’s something online with money. Exciting. He has an expensive-looking laptop on the kitchen table but I don’t touch it. I’m sure he has porn that I’ll never be able to unsee. I’d have to bleach my brain.

…I’m bored. I sit in the living room and watch TV for a while, then decide I won’t stay cooped up all day waiting for Ben to come home wasted or in the middle of tonguing some random Omega. I can go for a walk. He’s out at a bar without me, and the separation hysteria only sets in if he’s in rut.

Rut. Gross. I shudder as I head out into the balmy afternoon, scrolling through Facebook. I’ll go grab a smoothie and walk around the park. It’s weird that I haven’t heard from anyone, though… Maybe Rose is sick. Or something.

 “Rey?”

I glance up and squeal when I see the girl in question wearing a green dress. She smiles and gives me a hug, and I notice she smells different. It gives me an anxious shiver.

Rose has a circular bite mark on her neck. I stare at it for a minute and she blushes and covers it. She… she mated with _Finn_?! Like an animal?! She gave in to the Alpha-Omega bullshit _and_ the Familiar bullshit!

She swallows. “Can we talk?”

I clench my jaw and nod. We don’t talk as we walk down the block to our favorite healthy lunch place, but I don’t get two heaping salads like usual. I order my strawberry banana smoothie and we sit at a table in the corner. Rose stirs hers and clears her throat.

 “Finn and I are moving in together,” she says hesitantly.

 “Seriously?!” I snap before I can stop myself. “You barely know him!”

Rose shrinks back and I realize she’s reacting to my Alpha presence. I want to puke. I don’t want control over her like this—I just want to protect her. But something inside me is pleased to see her nervous.

 “He makes me happy,” she mumbles. “I mean, we had sex for the first time the other day, and…” She trails off and giggles. “You seriously don’t get it until you try it.”

I want to fucking scream. I can’t look at her. I feel angry and betrayed and confused, so I throw my smoothie across the restaurant and storm out. Rose doesn’t follow.

This is fucking _bullshit._ I walk and walk without thinking, furious, and wander down an alley to scream. My blood pulses with anger until I think I might blow up. Rose is _my_ best friend! She’s MINE! Some random fucking Alpha isn’t going to take her away from me and make her smell like… like…

I push away my thoughts and keep stomping my way along the sidewalk. I want things to go back to normal. I don’t want to live with Ben. I hate him. I want my best friend back, and my old apartment, and I want to became a lawyer and defend Omegas from—

The voice spits to life. _MATE IS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN._

My soulmark tingles and I stagger towards a dark, nearby bar. I squeak in surprise as the voice hisses and spits and fills me with jealousy and rage. What the… fuck?! The bouncer is busy with a gaggle of girls and I slip inside without being noticed.

It’s dark and loud and smells like alcohol. I stumble in my skirt, eyes wide, and tug on the hem. People passing by give me stares and I wonder if they can smell the Alpha on me. It’s hard to think with the booming music and my furious inner voice shrieking about Ben. I don’t care if he’s with another woman!

  _YOU SHOULD!_ screams the voice. _OUR MATE. BEN IS OURS. WE HAVE BEN’S PUPS!!!!!_

 “I’m not having any fucking _pups!_ ” I retort.

I can barely see. I follow the pull towards Ben, not entirely on my own volition, until I come across the bar. It’s near the dance floor—I’ve never been in one of these places—and I freeze there, terrified. Oh god. I need to get out of here.

Long arms wrap around my waist and I smell beer. “Is that my jailbait?”

Ben laughs when I try to elbow him in the ribs. It’s only been two hours since he left, but he seems pretty drunk. A tall woman scowls and watches him turn me in his arms to give me a hard, sloppy kiss on the lips. I wince and push back on his chest.

 “I have to leave!” I call over the music.

He grins goofily and kisses my neck. “How’d you sneak in here? I’m proud.” His huge hands slide over my butt and squeeze, pushing me closer. “You’re so fucking hot and tiny. Like a lil fuckin’… doll.”

The woman comes up, pissed, and Ben brushes her off. I notice the smell of perfume on his neck and the voice growls. Guess it has a sixth sense for ‘cheating.’

I can’t hear or see or think. Ben can’t keep his hands off me and eagerly runs his calloused palms under my shirt and up my back. We stagger and he sucks on my earlobe while people laugh and walk by.

 “You taste so fucking good,” he mumbles. “Jailbait. You wanna drink?” He snaps his fingers at the bartender and licks my jaw. “Imma fuck you in that skirt. Hot… bitch.”

 “I’m not in the mood for this!” I snap. “Get _off!_ ”

Ben picks up something in a tumbler from the bartender and pulls me along to a suspicious booth in a dark corner. He sits and pulls me in his lap and touches my lips to the glass, and I have to drink it back or inhale it. He laughs when I slap him and splutter on the alcohol burning down my throat. His hands wander over my thighs with me leaning across the table.

It’s so hard to think. I swallow hard and feel Ben hook his hands over my hips to roll me in his lap. The music booms around us but I can hear him panting in my hair. I cling to the sticky table.

 “You smell like Omega,” he whispers. “See your friend?”

 “…Yes.”

 “Mm. She having fun?”

I can feel him getting hard, but I don’t want to get up. I shrug and pretend not to notice.

 “They’re moving in together,” I say.

Ben holds me in place in his lap and sucks on the side of my neck. He shifts his hips and hums sympathetically. I lean on his chest despite myself and kind of enjoy the feeling of him and I doing something like this in public. My heart pounds. I’ve never done anything like this.

Ben stifles a groan. “…Y’like the apartment?”

 “Yeah… yeah. Need to…” I dig my nails into the table. “Decorate.”

 “Mhm. Needs a woman’s touch.” He slides his hands to my inner thighs and keeps rolling his hips. “You were so fucking hot last night. Kept arching up and whining and fixing the nest. Ate right out of my hand and let me rub your back.”

None of that comes back to me. I shiver.

 “Did we…?” I ask.

Ben coos and shakes his head. “No, no, we didn’t. I won’t. Not when you’re not thinking, and not when you’re seventeen.” He squeezes my thighs and thrusts up. “You like sitting in my lap?”

 “…Kinda,” I admit.

 “I want to bend you over this table and fuck you,” he whispers in my ear. “Lift that little skirt up, tug your panties down to your thighs, and knot you. I want you to growl and whimper and squirm and say my name. But I’ll wait. This is good.”

The voice has melted away in my mind, trilling and warbling like a cat in heat. I look around nervously while Ben grunts and rubs against me. It makes my spine prickle knowing he’s using my body to get off, but it’s also kind of hot. He kisses my neck a few more times before huffing and shaking his head.

 “Let’s go,” he mumbles. “I’m not jizzing in my pants like a fucking teenager.” He stands and throws me over his shoulder, ignoring my squeals. “Gonna jizz in my hand like a _man._ ”

Ben carries me out and people laugh. I blush furiously and yell the whole walk home, up the stairs, and into the empty apartment. He slaps my ass and brings me into the closet instead of his bed.

I collapse in a graceless pile and Ben crawls between my thighs before I can blink. He leaves everything on me, but pushes down his jeans and keeps his boxers on. I blink in surprise when he starts rubbing against me with his face buried in my neck. Oh… okay?!

Ben slaps my thigh. “Wanna fuck you in this skirt.” He curls his hand around my thigh and thrusts faster. “Want me to stop?”

 “No… I’m okay.” I cling to his ribs and try to work through what’s happening. “I’m okay.”

 “Mmf—fuck. Fuck.” He arches up and grabs my arm. “Touch it. You can feel the knot. Touch it.”

I reach down and curl my fingers around Ben’s cock. It’s hot and throbbing and hard, but still feels… squishy. He chokes and cranes his neck to watch my hand meeting his spastic thrusts and I stare, too. It’s fucking huge. I can’t see well in the darkness, but I can feel if, and it’s huge. I think of the tampons I’ve used over my life and shudder. _Why is it so big?_

Ben pants on my forehead. “Lower. Lower.”

My fingers drift down the shaft to a strange protuberance. It’s thicker than the rest and pulsing and Ben makes a whining noise when I touch it. I brush my fingers across it a few times and he swears and the voice buzzes in my mind.

Pleasure echoes through me across my bond with Ben as he groans gutturally with his climax. His cock throbs and the thing under my hand swells with each thread of cum that squirts out of him and stains my blouse. He apologizes while orgasming but can’t stop himself. I squeal when it almost squirts on my face.

The knot is swollen and red around the base but quickly begins to fade. Ben reaches between us, panting, and twists my fingers around it.

 “There’s more,” he breathes, “there’s more.”

I tighten my grasp and a few seconds later Ben groans and comes again. He catches his weight on his forearm and doesn’t say anything when I let go of his cock to check out the opaque sticky fluid on my fingers. It webs between them.

Ben kisses my cheek and breathes hard. “Holy shit. That felt fucking amazing.” He kisses me again, harder, and groans. “Good girl.”

He rolls off me after a minute and rubs his face. I stand, trembling, and wander to the bathroom to clean up. Okay. No big deal.

When the water is running in the bathroom, and I’m staring at Ben’s cum, the voice returns.

  _taste it. don’t waste mate’s seed._

 “Like hell!” I hiss, but it comes out weaker than that.

The water gurgles. I stare at the cum for another moment, the give a tentative lick. My body shivers with pleasure and soon I’m sitting on the floor sucking and licking my fingers to get every bit of Ben’s spend down my throat.

My head spins like I’m drunk. I want it all. It tastes so fucking good.


	9. Terra Nullius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just dubcon smut forgive me
> 
> sorry this took so long; i've been wasting time arguing with assholes on tumblr about the passion paradox

  _!!!!!!ben needs us!!!!!_

It rings like an alarm in my head and I snuffle as I jerk upright out of my pillow, hair a tangled mess. The voice is going more ballistic than usual and sipping around in my head like a ping pong ball loaded on speed. I hardly have time to blink before the door flings open and I’m blinded by sunlight.  

 “What the fuck?!” I hiss, squinting, flailing my hands to protect my eyeballs. 

The smell of alcohol precedes Ben. “Yo. It’s noon. _Git_ _up.”_

Bewildered and furious for what feels like the hundredth time in the span of a week, I grab a pillow and hurl it at his head. Alpha Rey isn’t really worried about her nest anymore. Regular Rey will tear this shit to shreds if it means repelling Ben.

 “Are you _drinking?!”_ I demand, rubbing my eyes.

 “Yip.” He comes closer—I feel the little voice go nuts. It’s worried about him. I’m not. “Sometimes my knot pops when I’m drunk. Wanna see it again?”

 “No, you insufferable fuck.”

It’s hard to believe that I was terrified of him a handful of days ago. I look up and see he once again has lost his shirt and has a pair of sweatpants on that hang just above the dick he’s so proud of. Ben grins and takes a swig straight from a bottle of Jack Daniels as I sway to my feet, clutching my head. I’m still in my outfit from last night, complete with cum-stained blouse.

My cheeks redden at the memory of licking Ben’s spend off my fingers and somehow enjoying it. Oh god. Gross. He gives me a smarmy look like he knows I did it and I shove past him into the bedroom. He whistles and turns to follow me down the hall to the bathroom, and I slam the door shut in his face.

He sags against it. “Rey.”

 “What?”

 “…C’mere.”

I strip off the blouse and snatch up his shirt from two days ago. He shuffles on the other side of the door.

 “Why?” I ask as I turn on the shower. 

He giggles, which is both unnerving and kind of funny. “I wanna show you somethin’.”

 “Is it your dick?”

Ben falls silent for a bit. I use the toilet and brush my teeth before getting naked for my shower. Once I’m inside and my hair is drenched, the Alpha male comes back to life with a yawn.

He wiggles the door handle. “We can go to the mall. I owe you a shirt, right?”

 “Don’t remind me,” I mutter.

 “Aw, jailbait, don’t be like that.” Ben’s fingers squeal down the door and he hums. “You weren’t complaining in the bar last night.”

I clench my jaw and finish my shower in silence. I’m never going to live that one down. Or touching his cock. I didn’t hate either, but I won’t give Ben the satisfaction of knowing that. I dry my hair and step out of the bathroom with just his shirt down to my knees and hold out a hand.

 “Give me the juice box.” I gesture towards the Jack.

Ben takes another drink and stares pointedly at my legs. “I didn’t get to fuck you during your first heat.”

I rip the bottle out of his hand and walk out to the kitchen to put it away. Ben follows, like he’s attached to me by a leash, and drags me into his arms when I turn back. We struggle for a minute until I tip back over the armrest of the couch and he makes an awkward thrust between my thighs. Grunting, I shove his face away with both hands and pin the soles of my feet on his thighs.

 “Get _off!_ ” I hiss.

 “I wanna fuck you,” he slurs. Ben drapes his chest over me, shaking his head to get my hands off his face. “Shit in my lap.”

 “ _Shit_ in your lap?”

 “ _Sit_ in my lap… bitch.” He laughs and pushes me over the edge of the armrest and struggles to position himself between my legs. “You think you’re fucking funny?”

I squirm under him, but it’s like wrestling a rock. Ben keeps laughing and buries his face in my neck, growling and digging until his lips brush my skin. He kisses me once, then again, then sighs and rolls my skin through his teeth. It’s hard to breathe under his weight but my brain buzzes pleasantly at the sensation. I kick my legs weakly as Ben settles between them and jerks his hips forward again. We barely fit on the couch.

Panting, I push on his ribs and try to push my feet on the edge of the couch to move, but there’s nowhere to go. Ben is heavy, and he’s everywhere. He tenderly sucks on my neck while I keep resisting and panting and trying to ignore the taste of him in my mouth. His hair smells _amazing._ I want to tangle my fingers in it and pull. I… I think I want that scent in the nest…

Ben grabs the other end of the couch and tugs, dragging us forward to give him more room. He keeps gently sucking on my neck and humming, and rolls his hips into mine. I swallow hard before burying my face in his hair and taking a deep breath. God, he smells good: like home and safety and comfort. My body relaxes without me realizing it and I cling to his ribs as he rocks against me. It feels good. It overrides common sense and I whimper, wriggling my hips to feel more pleasure. Fuck. _Fuck._

He growls and softly bites my jaw. “Mhm. My good girl. Do you like this?”

Alpha Rey snorts with disdain, but the voice has a totally different agenda. She swoons and agrees and loves the smell of Ben. I nod and dig my nails into his hips as he keeps slowly thrusting, meeting the apex of my thighs with his growing erection. I felt it last night in a different way, but now it’s stroking right where I want it and… ugh. Fuck me.

Ben purrs. “Did you like riding my lap?”

 “…Maybe.”

 “I liked that hot little skirt you were wearing. I could feel your pussy.” He rubs his jeans on my panties and licks along my throat. “Want me to bend you over a table and fuck you in it?”

I hitch my knees on his hips and nod. Ben’s egged on and pants in my ear as he moves faster, and I have a weird urge to let him fuck me then and there. It feels so good. Every thrust rubs the right spot and draws up warmth and tension and distracts me from everything else. I whimper and hide my face in Ben’s neck as the tension builds.

He goes back to sucking on my neck. “You want to feel my knot inside you? How did it feel in your hand?”

 “Big.” I can’t think straight enough to say much else.

 “Did you like it?”

 “…Yeah, I think so.” I try to drag his hips closer, chasing my pleasure.

The couch creaks as Ben adjusts his hips, panting above my forehead. I moan despite myself and grasp his hips, watching him flex between my thighs. It feels so good—it feels right. I can see the pale taper of his hips under his sweatpants and the swell of his cock as he rubs it against me.

He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Good girl. Do you want to come for me?”

 “No!” I spit, raging back to life. I dig my nails into his hips and moan, struggling again. “NO!”

Ben makes a weird growling sound in his throat like a warning and I have an even weirder urge to growl back at him. He reaches back to yank one of my hands from his ribs and pins it above my head, knitting his long fingers through mine. It actually makes me hiss like a fucking cat and kick my legs, and Ben pulls my hair with his free hand to expose my throat. The voice shivers.

He breathes on my skin for a minute, close to the bonding site. I shudder when he draws his tongue across it and give another weak kick of my legs.

 “Don’t,” he chides in a gentle, firm tone.

My Alpha brain says I can’t give in to him. It feels good— _really_ good—but I have the urge to keep resisting. It conflicts with another urge to give in and let him ravish me and bite my neck. Ben murmurs in my neck while I squirm and whimper underneath him, chastened by command. Fuck.. mother _fucker!_

The pleasure peaks, and I gasp when it ebbs through my body, warm and slow and much different than anything I’ve felt before. Ben groans as I buck my hips and drag my nails across his pale skin, pushing my heels into his calves and curling my toes. I’m not much into theatrics, but I can’t help a couple of ‘oh god, oh god’ moans and _maybe_ panting his name. It feels almost sublime as it ripples up to my neck and turns into a tingling itch.

Ben latches right on to the spot like he can sense it and laps his tongue across it. I don’t have any time to come down from my climax when I’m suddenly turned on again, almost as desperate as I was two minutes ago. The itching lets up but the little voice chants _bite bite bite bite bite_

My hand clenches around Ben’s as I come closer to finishing again, and I get a sense of falling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like I’m not in control, but I _think_ I like that. I just want him to bite me right where he’s sucking on my neck and I make an embarrassing whimper to let him know.

Ben’s chest rumbles with a purr, which I would normally find extremely creepy, but instead it makes me relax. My tight muscles slacken and I hook my ankles behind his thighs as he keeps rocking his hips and rolling my skin through his teeth. It feels nice. I can just lie here… Ben knows what to do.

  _pups,_ sighs the voice.

Normally I don’t agree with the dumb bitch, but thinking of being pregnant gives me a strange thrill of pleasure. That’d be nice, I think. I smile lazily and part my lips to taste my Familiar. Maybe I’ll—

 “Want me to knot you, Rey?” Ben asks in a murmur.

Alpha Rey flares right back to life with a furious snarl at the mention of being knotted. I roll hard to the right, tumbling to the floor with Ben, and we wrestle for a minute until I wind up straddling his hips.

Panting, I sit upright and brush my hair away from my face. Ben stares up at me and yanks me into a kiss by the front of my shirt, groaning and laughing when I slap him across the face. He grasps my hips in his huge hands and starts rubbing me across his lap.

 “I know you want to come again,” he laughs.

I go for his throat. Ben keeps grinning as I tighten my fingers around his neck, gritting my teeth, intent on hurting him. His Adam’s apple bobs across my fingers and he takes a rattling breath, eyes rolling back.

 “Harder… daddy…” he rasps.

 “Fuck you!”

I’m humiliated by what just happened and I want to get the hell away from him. Ben grabs my waist and manages to pin me on my back, but I give him a sharp bite on his bicep and he lets go for a second. I flip over on my stomach and crawl across the carpet until he pins me down again, this time with an arm barred across my shoulders and under my throat. I hiss and claw at his forearm as he starts kissing along my jaw, stifling my small struggles with one shift of his body.

Ben kneels between my thighs and uses his weight to keep me on the floor underneath him. I push back into his groin, struggling to escape, but he grasps my hip to stop me. His hand slides past arch of bone and between my legs.

I make a bizarre squeak at the sensation of his fingertips stroking across my panties, and he shushes me. When I kick my feet Ben growls like he did before and gently nibbles at the still-damp spot on my neck like he did before. It makes my head spin and my body relaxes like my bones were sucked out of it. I cling to his forearm as he slips his middle and ring fingers under the hem of my panties.

It gives me an intense rush of euphoria and the small voice swells and sighs. Ben idly sucks on my neck and hums as his fingertips slip through my folds, like he’s inspecting me, then drift back to roll small circles around my clit. My eyelids flutter and I pant on his arm, twisting my hips to meet his touch, and my irritation fades away. Feels good… feels so good…

 “I’ll take good care of you,” Ben mumbles against my neck.

Anger lights up in me again. “I don’t need you to fucking—”

Ben bites the spot this time and it pulses and aches. I pant and try to resist, but my mind becomes goop again and I finally let go of his forearm. He shifts his hips closer, still biting down on my throat, and growls when I squirm underneath him. I shrink down at the sound and whimper like an apology as Ben pushes my hips with each stroke to rub my butt on his cock. I want to claw his eyes out, but I also want him to fuck me. I’m a little conflicted.

We don’t talk because Ben holds my skin with his teeth the entire time. I rake my nails through the carpet as Ben stretches out his arm to settle his groin closer to me, making shorter, faster thrusts. I’m a little worried he’s going to tug my panties down, but he just keeps up what he’s doing while I roll my hips. I don’t hate it, and it’s not like I don’t want it, but the other half of me can’t stand the thought of letting Ben drape himself over me and use my body to get off.

  _such a good mate,_ the voice warbles. _such a thoughtful mate—must produce pups—imperative—prerogative_

I reach back, eyes lidded, to lazily tug on my panties and get them out of the way. Ben finally lets go of my neck and starts pulling on his sweatpants, but pauses and shakes his head, muttering under his breath. He fixes my panties and keeps going even though I whine in protest and reach back again.

 “No,” Ben says, inflicting his Alpha voice on me. “You’re not thinking straight.”

True as it is, I still roll my hips into his groin to make him change his mind. Ben groans and arches up, grasping my hip with one hand to grind into me and still rubbing my clit with the other. I’m up too high to come down and I climax a minute later with a keening wail, like it hurts, and buck my hips on Ben’s thick fingers. He slips lower to my entrance and dips his fingertips into the thick slick leaking out of me like water. I’ve never felt it before.

Ben swipes some and I hear him sucking it off his fingers. He digs his nails into my hip and presses his thumb to the small of my back, once again dipping his fingers to my cunt to gather more slick. He leans back from me and I hear clicking sounds. He’s panting and I figure out he’s jerking off.

 “Good girl,” he coos, “such a good girl. So fucking wet for me. I’m going to cum on your back.”

 “Mmm,” I mumble, still coming down from my orgasm.

Ben pushes my shirt up and a few seconds later I hear him grunt and groan. Wetness splatters on my back near the very center and I feel him squeeze out the last bits on my skin. He catches his breath for a second before reaching a hand around to my mouth.

His other hand combs through my hair. “Want a taste?”

Obedient, and still dizzy, I lick up his palm to the tip of his index finger and get the same odd satisfaction I did last night. Ben’s fingers drift down my back while I lap up his cum from his fingers, sucking them in my mouth or rubbing my tongue on his skin until it’s all gone. I grab his wrist to make it easier.

He kisses the crown of my skull. “Good girl. I’ll take care of you, Rey.”


	10. Supersedeas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh this is dark-ish  
> dubcon-ish, like A/B/O usually is

Ben and I pass out on the living room floor for all of ten minutes when someone bangs on the door.

He jerks up before me and grunts in confusion, still drunk off his ass, and I scramble to get up. My mouth tastes like cum and I’m still reeling from what we just did. I grimace at my wet panties as Ben wavers to his feet and rubs his face. What the fuck? Am I a wild animal now?

 “This better be fucking important!” he snaps as he staggers to the door.

For once, I agree. I groan and roll on my stomach to grab a blanket and cover my lower half before our guest comes inside. Who the hell could it be? One of my friends finally making an appearance?

Ben flings the door open, all tall and hulking pissed-off Alpha male, and I see two young people standing there. They’re dressed up: the guy has a pastel shirt on and the girl is in a floral-printed dress. Prim and proper types—what I _wish_ I could be. They’re Betas, too. I can tell by the lack of scent.

The man takes a nervous step back. “We—We are your neighbors, Kaydel and Henry, and—well, we received a _notice_ about a bonded Alpha pair living in the building.” He holds up a neon pink flyer like it can protect him from Ben. “And if you should do anything unsavory, my girlfriend and I—”

Ben snatches the flyer and waves it at me. “The fuck is this?”

I huff and get up with the blanket loosely around my hips. Kaydel stares at me with wide eyes as I approach and take the flyer to read it quick. It says what it says: there’s an unnamed Alpha pairing in the building. Perfectly legal, perfectly ridiculous bullshit. We’re publicly registered. Anyone can find us.

 “Why do you think I’m going to be a lawyer?” I ask, smiling and smacking the paper on Ben’s broad chest. I point at Henry but don’t look at him. “Then we can’t be harassed by assholes like this.”

 “Excuse me!” Henry squeaks.

Kaydel keeps staring at me. It’s weirdly distracting. I try to listen to Ben bitching at me and totally ignoring Henry shuffling nervously from foot to foot, but there’s something that keeps tugging on my brain. She wrings her hands and rubs her neck and I finally pick up on it. Oh—she’s an Omega on suppressants. Hardcore suppressants. She seems… sick.

I blow off Ben and turn on her husband. “Why is your girlfriend so drugged up?”

My tone of voice forces him to respond, like Ben’s does to Betas. Henry shifts on his heels and Ben leans over to smell Kaydel without hesitation. He blinks and draws back when he picks up on her scent, too. Kaydel shrinks back under his dark eyes. Same, girl. Same.

 “The doctor—” Henry splutters.

 “No,” I interrupt, getting in his face, “no doctor would allow that.” I shove him, suddenly angry. “What’s your problem?!”

My vision flashes red. I’m mad. I’m mad that this Beta male is abusing an Omega and loading her with suppressants. It sets something off deep in my brain that I have very little control over.

Kaydel obediently tilts her jaw to let Ben inhale near her neck. He’s just vaguely interested in her, but I can smell her hormones roiling at our proximity. I shove Henry again and clench my fists and rage burns up in my chest. I want to pummel him.

 “Uh… what’s up, guys?”

I’m distracted by Jessika’s voice. She’s walking along with Poe, who’s bristling from being around two other Alphas. The dark hall is filling up with people.

 “This guy is being a douche,” Ben says offhandedly, gesturing at Henry. “Smell this bitch, Dameron.”

Poe obliges. He wanders over to smell Kaydel, who looks like she’s about to pass out. I abandon my beef with Henry and move on to my next target: the other Alphas crowding around an Omega. Jess hovers on the periphery with a confused look on her face.

I slip past Ben and Poe to stand in front of Kaydel and hiss at them. She clings to the back of my shirt as both of them growl back at me, all of us being reduced to our animal states. It’s a weird juxtaposition to the Betas who look confused and disturbed by all of it. No matter how much we grow and evolve, we’re still beasts at heart.

 “Stop!” I snarl.

 “You can’t protect her from him!” Poe retorts, edging closer.

We snarl and snap at each other and Kaydel squeals in fear, wrapping her skinny arms around my waist. Now that I’m aware of her, I can smell the Omega scent like I could on Rose, and it makes my head spin. I want to rip Poe’s throat out with my teeth and that says nothing of Ben, who growls when I touch Kaydel’s hand on my stomach.

 “Stop touching her!” Ben demands. “You’re _my_ mate!”

It makes me even more pissy—like he owns me?!—but I can feel Kaydel tremble and pick up the taste of fear on the roof of my mouth. Getting her away from the other two seems more important, so I bare my teeth and pull her along with me into the apartment. Jess bushes away Henry when he tries to follow.

She takes Poe’s arm when we’re inside to try to calm him down. Ben paces irately while I help Kaydel to the couch to sit down. She clings to me, though, and I can’t get back up to call the cops. She’s got to be around my age, and she has hazel eyes with two buns on top of her head. I don’t know what her deal is.

Ben scratches his jaw, annoyed. “Can we get this Omega out of here?”

 “I’m calling the police, Rey,” Jess calls.

 “Shut up, Ben!” I snap. “Tell them to send an ambulance, Jess. She should go to the hospital.”

I’m a little calmer now that Henry is gone and no one’s trying to take Kaydel away from me. She stays quiet and I keep an arm around her shoulders, protective like I always was with Rose. Guess the Alpha showed up earlier than I’d like to admit.

Ben paces in front of us with his arms folded. “She can stop fucking touching you now.”

 “Piss off.” I pull her closer and glare up at him. “Don’t you have a bar to get drunk at?”

He clenches his jaw. “Fine. FINE!”

Then he storms out of the apartment without another word. I feel a pang of guilt and longing, but I’m too mad to give it much stock. He’s being a douchebag. This Omega needs my help. I can’t just… ignore it. I have to help her.

The little voice is dead silent, overwhelmed by something deeper and stronger that doesn’t offer thoughts. It’s all impulses that echo in my head. I have to protect this abused Omega. I have to.

The proper authorities show up to evaluate Kaydel and arrest her boyfriend. It’s a satisfying turn of events. I sit close by while they evaluate her and tag along when they bring her to the hospital, obviously changing into jeans and a clean T-shirt. Poe watches from afar with Jess, frowning.

It’s a short ride to the hospital. Kaydel stays quiet the entire time up until she’s in a room and being hooked up to an IV. They have to flush the suppressants from her body. Overloading can cause permanent sterility and unprecedented psychological damage. Heat is inconvenient and messy, but necessary—stifling it too much eventually wreaks havoc.

The room has pink walls and posters about heat. I sit next to Kaydel Connix, this woman I barely know, holding her hand while she undergoes the flush. It takes an hour or two. She’ll need a few weeks to recover and rebound before she can medicate again. I read the posters and stroke the top of her hand with my thumb.

 “…Rey?”

I blink and glance at her sleepy gaze. “What’s up?”

 “…Thanks.” She sighs and closes her eyes. “This is the best day of my life.”

My chest pangs with sadness. Best day of her life? Jesus Christ. That’s depressing.

A nurse gives me discharge instructions when the cleanse is done. She’ll go through rebound heat within a few days, so she obviously needs to be protected, but after that she can start meds again. She’s seventeen and has no parents or family to take her in. I groan. Goddammit. At least Henry is getting his ass thrown in jail.

At mid-afternoon I leave the hospital with my new Omega ward wringing her hands beside me. Her scent is even more overwhelming now that the meds are flushed out of her system, and I’m starting to get why Omegas make Alphas so jittery. I scratch my neck and tap for an Uber in the app.

 “You can’t live with us,” I say, kind of blunt. “Ben and I are both Alphas, so it’s not safe. My friend Paige is an Omega, though. She can help you out.”

 “Thank you. Thanks.”

We ride back home for now, since I have to make sure it’s okay with Paige. I can feel weird tugging in my head, like anxiety and jealousy, as I walk upstairs with Kaydel. We can chat a bit. It’s not like I’m about to ravish her. That’s not even on my mind.

Ben’s still out. I drop my keys on the island and wonder if I should call him, when I feel Kaydel’s thin arms curl around my waist again. She rubs her cheek between my shoulder blades and I blink in surprise. I can taste her on the roof of my mouth, and it’s way different than Ben and other Alphas. She’s sweet and savory like a piece of candy I want to suck on. An indulgence, I guess.

 “I feel like my head is clear again,” Kaydel mumbles. “Thank you.”

 “Uh… sure.” I pry her hands off me and turn to face her. “Paige should answer me soon. You’ll be safer living with her.”

Kaydel nods, but her eyes well up with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so overwhelmed—I haven’t been around an Alpha in a long time. I just really want to touch you. I’m so sorry.”

 “It’s okay,” I laugh uncomfortably. “You’ve been suppressed for a long time, right?”

She bursts into tears and hugs me and I stiffen. My brain flies off into way different emotions than I feel with Ben. I want to comfort her and make it better and maybe lick her neck a little bit—

 “My mom fed them to me when I was a baby!” Kaydel sobs. “I’m so messed up! I’ve never even felt heat because she said it was dirty, and Henry bought me from her, and… and…”

Oh god. This is not in my wheelhouse. I try to disentangle from Kaydel, but she’s got arms like a fricken vice. The more upset she gets and the more she unloads, the more I feel like I need to stay close to her. I help her to the couch again and she crawls between my legs to lie across my chest. My heart pounds. My thoughts twist. I’m in control. I’m in control. I won’t…

She nuzzles under my chin. I know she’s not trying to manipulate me—she’s confused, and fucked up like everyone else—but it seems like she knows what I want. Kaydel squirms closer and rubs in a weird way between my thighs. I grab her hips on instinct and shove my nose into her neck to smell her. Good. Good. It smells right. It smells like what I should be humping on the couch. Omega.

I push my heels into the cushions and maybe roll my hips into hers. She whimpers and turns her head to let me closer to her throat, and I can _taste_ her, like sugar and sin, and exactly what I’m supposed to need at my own expense. I’m overcome by it, and I shift positions so I’m lying on top of her instead. I’m what she needs. I’m what she needs. _I’m what she needs._

Kaydel squirms. “I trust you. I know I can trust you.” Her long legs hook around my hips. “I want to live here with you, please.”

 “Okay,” I mutter, still sniffing her neck. I’m sucking on her skin before I realize it. Tastes good. Tastes like salt and sugar.

I’m losing control, she’s losing control, and I finally get how ruts and heats often end in tragedy. The deeper instinct creeps into my brain and latches on and I kiss along Kaydel’s neck while she unbuttons my jeans. She pushes them down over my hips and I don’t feel the hard swell of Ben’s cock like usual, just damp material and plush hair.

We don’t go further than that. I suck on her neck like I’m drunk and we rub against each other with equal desire. The couch creaks. We keep going until we’ve both panted or whimpered with climax and keep going after that. Is this cheating? I’m not even dating Ben. He’s a fucking jerk.

It doesn’t matter. There’s an Omega who wants me. I keep gently kissing her neck and give in to the instinct. It’s like heat, but way worse. I’m so driven in giving her what she wants that I…

The front door bangs open and we look up.

Ben staggers inside, dark eyes hooded and tired. He glances at Kaydel and me on the couch and I expect some kind of gross comment about how hot it is. But he slams the door shut, turns the lock, and screams instead. I hunch protectively over Kaydel.

 “You’re MINE!” he shouts. “You’re MINE, REY!”

He advances, clearly wasted beyond comprehension. My head clears and I get up to confront him.

 “Fuck YOU!” I scream back. “You’ve been dicking around with random Omegas!”

Kaydel cowers as Ben and I meet in the middle of the apartment in a cluster of shouting and shoving. It’s a bad environment for her. It’s a bad environment for all of us. He throws me aside and drags her off the couch by one of her skinny arms.

He yanks her face close to his. “Stay away from my fucking mate, you fucking whore!”

 “I’m sorry!” she squeals. “I’m so sorry!”

I jump on Ben’s back and we stumble into the open dining room. Ben falls because he’s drunk as hell and we wrestle, but not in the cute way. Our teeth snap and we squeeze too hard and bite and slap. It’s violent and animalistic. My reptile brain takes over.

It ends with me on top of Ben, strangling him with both hands. He glares at me for a minute, but then his eyes well up with tears and he huffs and I let go. We pant and stare at each other.

His throat bobs. “I haven’t been fucking around with anyone, Rey.” He throws me off and chokes on a sob. “Fuck you. Fuck _you!_ ”

Ben storms off to the bedroom. I sit there in the dining room and stare after him in shock. Okay… maybe Ben isn’t as big of a dick as I thought.


	11. De Novo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> secks
> 
> uh this is A/b/o so dubcon-ish

Paige comes to pick Kaydel up within fifteen minutes. Kaydel apologizes up and down and I uncomfortably wave her off. Once she’s gone, I feel like I can breathe again, and I feel sick for what I just did. The little voice comes creeping back and whatever took over me earlier retreats to its den. Eeeuugggh. What the hell is wrong with me?

Ben’s under new blue blankets in his bed when I peer inside his room. He glances at me over his shoulder and pulls the comforter over his head like the petulant child he is. I roll my eyes and amble to the side of the bed, still feeling guilty even though I shouldn’t. We’re not even dating.

I sit by his feet. “Sorry for kicking your ass.”

He grunts.

Annoyed, I crawl to the side of the bed against the wall and try to pull the comforter off him. Ben growls and holds fast, so I growl back and keep pulling. It’s fucking ridiculous. I keep doing it though, just to make him mad. It’s kind of my thing.

Ben abruptly sits up and seizes my upper arms in his huge hands. He’s once again lost his shirt and I once again misplace my confidence. I shrink under his angry dark eyes like I usually do. Apparently having an available Omega around makes me act like a lunatic. Now I’m where Ben wants me.

He clenches his jaw. “You smell like her.” His grip tightens, making me grimace. “Go shower. Then come back.”

I _really_ want to tell him to shove it up his butt, but I climb off the bed and do what he says. When I’m fresh and clean I peek in his bedroom, worried he’s watching porn or something, but find him in the same position from before. Seems like he’s asleep.

Ben’s eyes roll open as I crawl into bed beside him. He doesn’t smile, but lifts the sheets to let me underneath into the dark warmth. I pretend to be disgusted when he pulls me to his chest and hooks his chin on top of my head. He reeks of whiskey.

 “I’m still pretty wasted,” he says after a beat, “but, uh… sorry for flipping out.”

 “It’s okay.”

We lapse into silence for a bit. The apartment is surprisingly quiet and I’m glad the walls aren’t too thin. What an eventful—

 “It’s pretty hard to resist them, right?”

I raise my eyes to Ben’s jaw. “What? Omegas?”

He nods. “Yeah.” Then he wriggles down in bed so we’re face-to-face and smiles smugly. “Welcome to being an Alpha, jailbait. Wait until you meet one in heat—I’m probably gonna have to hold you back.”

 “Dick!” I hiss. When in doubt, insult.

 “I mean, it was _hot,_ ” Ben continues, “but you can’t hump every Omega that bats their eyes at you. That’s how you get STDs, Rey.” He blinks and laughs. “Have you ever Googled ‘blue waffle?’ Lemme get my phone and show you—”

He grabs me when I scream since I’ve of course seen ‘blue waffle’ and I kick my feet to escape. Ben wrestles me on my stomach, kneeling between my thighs, and uses his obscenely huge arm to keep me pinned like he did in the living room. I growl and shriek as he shows me the pictures, which he just finds hysterical. He laughs in my hair, I bite his forearm, and everything is good.

We manage to survive a week living together. Ben is usually never home and I invite Rose and Finn over so I can actually get to know him. He’s a nice guy, even if he took my best friend from me. Rose is happy. I guess that’s all that matters at the end of the day.

Paige takes care of Kaydel by keeping her _far_ away from me and Ben. I come home one day to find he threw away the entire fucking couch because he could smell her on it. 

 “Are you a goddamn bloodhound?!” I snap, already forgetting my pleasant afternoon with Rose and Finn. They’re so relaxing to be around. They kinda jive or resonate or… I don’t know.

Ben snorts, huge hands on the dropping hem of his sweatpants. He likes walking around without a shirt on, in case I forget he has a six pack.

 “I don’t want to be reminded of her,” he says tersely. “We’ll just go get another one. You need clothes and shit, right?”

 “I don’t need your charity.”

He saunters up to me with an impish smirk and I _know_ he’s going to say something fucking obnoxious to get me going. Sure, I ate his cum, but it didn’t mean we were suddenly best friends.

Ben’s dark eyes assess me. “Keeping my _property_ in good shape isn’t charity.”

 “Yeah? Your property?” I arch on my tiptoes to glare back at him. “I think the federal government disagrees with you.”

 “We disagree on a lot of things. Like, every time I’ve been sent to jail.” He pokes my forehead with his middle finger and pushes me off balance. “Got my tattoo for those disagreements. Anyway, let’s go, jailbait. Maybe you can stop dressing like a baby prostitute.”

 _“Baby pros—_ ” I splutter. “I dress fine! I wear nice skirts and clean jeans—”

Ben pokes between my boobs. “Your tits are always out.” He tugs the front of my shirt and makes an approving sound as he looks down at said tits. “They do look good, though.”

I slap his hand away and he snags me around the waist instead. Growling, I nip his bicep when it’s close enough and slap a hand over my neck to protect my gland from Ben’s wandering mouth. He huffs and tries to yank my wrist away, ignoring my teeth locked on his upper arm, and I teeter precariously on my tiptoes. There’s something wrong with us.

He slips a hand under the skirt he apparently hates and pinches my butt. I yelp and shove him away by his face with both hands, and Ben stands there in silence for a minute. He sighs, then I feel his tongue licking up my palm. I squeal and wave my wet hand around and he takes the opportunity to seal his lips over the gland under my jaw.

For a second I go limp and he has to catch me. Ben stumbles a step and I fly into a flurry of snarling the moment his lips leave my neck. It’s like an on-off switch and it’s _fucking_ irritating.

 “I’m just trying to turn the bitching off,” he laughs as I cover my throat with the butt of my palms.

My back touches the island and I arch as Ben leans over me, making sarcastic kissing sounds. He nips at my fingers protecting my glands and very deliberately pushes his groin between my legs. He breathes in my hair and goes for my skirt again like a dog with a bone, and I shift my hips to stop him. But my thighs are apart and I can’t really move the bottom half of my body without exposing my throat.

Ben turns me around with one rough tug and I have to catch myself on the island with both hands. He forgoes teasing and pushes his hand under my skirt and down the front of my panties. We both adjust on our feet, breathing too hard, and I shove my butt into Ben’s groin, drawing a stifled groan from him. He struggles to get me under control and I feel a smug sense of victory. Good.

Then his fingertips find my clit and my smugness disappears with a pitiful whimper. He leans across my back and growls when I jerk away from his lips on my neck. My bare toes swipe at the floor as Ben finds the spot and latches on, sucking gently while stroking his fingers between my legs. I whine before turning my head to give him a better angle on my throat. He strains closer and brushes my hair aside, rolling my skin through his teeth, and I squirm into his touch.

 “We should probably have sex before we mate,” Ben murmurs. He presses his cock against the small of my back. “Mating is a lot more intense.”

 “How selfless of you to suggest that,” I mumble back.

He cups my mound in his palm and begins gently easing his middle finger inside me. “Surprisingly, I’m trying to be nice. You _really_ don’t want your first time to be with an Alpha in rut.” Then he makes a pained groaning sound. “And you’re fucking tight.”

I rest my cheek on the cool countertop and teeter on my tiptoes, biting my lower lip as Ben pushes deeper. I’m so wet that there’s hardly any friction and I moan when he slowly adds a second finger. It’s not enough. The little voice laments each stroke and wails obscene crap in my head that I only hold in by chewing my lip until it bleeds. I’m not losing my virginity draped over the kitchen island. It’s supposed to be a big deal.

Ben traces the tip of his tongue along the dormant gland in my throat. There’s not much between us, just his sweatpants and my panties, and I know both are damp with my slick. He can be buried inside me in two seconds. I moan at the thought of that and he purrs at the sound like he’s praising me.

 “Want to go lie down?” he asks gruffly.

I nod. Ben draws his fingers out and sucks on them as he leads me to his bedroom by my hand. My heart pounds and the hallway spins. I want to do it, but I’m not sure how much of _me_ is behind the wheel anymore.

Ben tugs me to his chest and kisses me and I arch on my tiptoes to kiss him back. He tries to unbutton the first half of my blouse, then grunts and rips through the rest to yank it off me. We stumble back towards the bed and desperately pull on each other’s remaining clothes while making out. I tug down the waistband on his sweatpants and curl my fingers around his cock and Ben stops for a minute and groans against my lips. He cups the back of my head and kisses down to the gland and sucks harder than before. My ears ring; I can taste spice in my mouth.

There’s no knot like there was before. It’s a relief—I shiver at the memory and wipe a bead of precum from the head of Ben’s cock. We should do this at least once when we’re rational.

Alpha brain kicks in as my skirt and panties come off. She seems to realize what’s happening long after the rest of me and I tense up when Ben eases me over the edge of the mattress. He locks an arm around my waist and threads his fingers through the hair at the back of my head to keep me from struggling as he lifts me into the bed. I want to do it—I really do—but Alpha brain is a proud bitch.

Ben kneels between my thighs and bites harder on my gland, pulling the blankets over us. A wave of pleasure soothes me for a minute and I breathe a sigh of relief. He doesn’t let go while he adjusts us and it’s a good thing, because I’ll rip his face off if he does. I smile to myself, drunk on hormones or pheromones or whatever is pulsing from my gland.

We can’t talk much. Ben lets go for a second to ask ‘you’re sure?’ and I hiss and spit like an angry cat and rake my nails down his back. He growls in pain and bites down harder, nearly breaking the skin, and I relax and whimper apologetically. But I manage to nod, at least.

He shifts closer between my legs, hitching my knee on his hip, and I feel his head prodding me. Panting, I buck my hips and dig my nails into his shoulder blades and whine with each teasing dip he makes just inside me. Ben hums and slips an arm under the pillows behind my head as he slowly pushes deeper, finally giving me what I want. A condom would be a good idea… meh.

It’s an odd sensation at first, like my flesh is suctioned together and he’s breaking it open, but it feels fucking _amazing._ Alpha brain logs off and the one always muttering to herself about pups comes in loud and clear.

  _this is right,_ she warbles. _ah—good stretch—mate_

Ben releases my gland and licks the tender skin as he rolls his hips gently to ease deeper inside me. I cling to his back and can only manage to gasp at first, rubbing my heels in the mattress, blissed-out beyond comprehension. Every lick on my gland makes me wetter and the pressure and fullness of Ben feels just right. He pants on my neck.

 “Mmf— _fuck!_ ” he snaps. “ _Fuck_ this feels…” He bites my jaw gently when I mewl. “Good girl. That’s my good girl.”

I squirm and bleat whatever pops in my head. I’m not really sure why, but I’m too wasted on pleasure to give a shit. Ben buries his cock fully inside me with a low grunt and rocks his hips. I’m pinned under him, though he’s keeping his weight off with his forearm, and I feel an odd sense of calm and peace. Something I can’t totally control soaks up my trepidation.

 “Please,” I beg, unsure of what I’m asking for.

Ben obviously can’t read my fucking mind. He kisses along the side of my face while he thrusts, and the bed creaks in time with him. I hook my ankles over his calves to put friction on my clit and he swears and bites my throat again. This is just regular sex—we’re not even in a cycle. What the hell is _that_ like?

 “What?” he groans. “You want to come? You want me to fill you up with cum?” Ben’s breathing heavily and he swears again. “ _Fuck_ , you’re fucking tight!”

 “Pups—I want pups.” My eyes roam the ceiling and I shift my hips.

Of course I don’t _really._ I think. My thoughts spin and I try to meet Ben’s hips with mine, clutching his back. He’s big and strong and he’ll give me big, strong babies. Simple.

He huffs like he’s laughing. “You’re not even in heat, jailba—” Then he smacks kisses up the side of my face without finishing his sentence. “That’s… probably not funny anymore.”

 “It was never funny,” I say, breathless.

 “It’s fucking hilarious—and don’t change the subject.” Ben slides a hand under my thigh and whispers in my ear. “ _You_ want me to knock you up.”

I redden. “Can you stop talking?”

 “No.” He nuzzles the side of my head, straining closer. “How about I turn you on your stomach and give you what you want?”

A tingle of excitement goes through me and the dumb bitch voice agrees emphatically with that idea. Ben pulls out and turns me over in one fluid motion, and I squeak when he yanks my hips up. The blankets fall away from us as he pushes inside me again with a low groan. I bite the pillow and take hard breaths. Jesus _Christ._ It’s way deeper than the other position and I might prefer it.

Ben squeezes my hips and stills for a minute. “…Okay—I’m going to cum if we change positions again.” He breathes hard and groans. “Fuck; this was a bad fucking idea.”

I’m dying to buck my hips but I stay quiet and wait for him to get a grip. He rubs his thumbs on my butt and suddenly leans across my back to lie flat on top of me. His hand dips between my thighs and I can’t help but roll into his touch.

He exhales in my hair and kisses my temple, humming. “This is how I’ll knot you and give you those pups you want.”

 “Shut the fuck—”

Ben yanks my head back by my hair and immediately bites down hard on my sore gland. I have to arch my back and push on his cock, and I feel a sharp pain inside me. He grunts, thrusting faster, and the little voice drives me to keep saying stupid shit.

I whine in an embarrassing way to keep myself quiet, chewing the inside of my cheek. Ben’s smartass mouth is occupied sucking on my throat and I only take another minute or two to finish. My dramatic moaning and shaking drags Ben with me and he seems to notice something is off at the same time I do. I frown into the pillow, panting as my orgasm ebbs away, and feel extra pressure inside me as he groans ‘no, no, no’ under his breath.

My eyes widen in shock and my breath hitches when the knot swells as Ben comes. I know he can’t control it and now I’m literally stuck, but I hiss and scramble for the headboard. He rips my arms away, pinning my hands next to my head while he growls and bucks against me. He bites my gland again, breathing hard and fast with each frantic thrust of his hips. I feel his cock twitch and pulse inside me, filling me with cum. It’s kind of hot.

Ben gasps when he’s done and almost drops on me. His forearms tremble to my head. I feel strangely calm, but the knot stings a little.

 “Holy shit,” he rasps, “I’m so sorry—I had no idea—” He shivers and fists the fitted sheet until his knuckles turn white. “Fuck, I’m going to again.”

And he does, about ten seconds later. I can feel it. Ben chokes as he throbs and spills inside me, but I don’t mind. I swallow and listen to him panic for a second before he turns us over on our sides. He curls up behind me, still stuck like I am, and wraps his huge arms around me. Little voice is very pleased.

 “It’s only when I’m drunk or in rut,” Ben manages, “and I can tell when it’s coming. Does it hurt?”

 “A little. I’m okay.” I squirm when I feel him pulse again. “Maybe your dick knows I’m a flight risk.”

He pulls the sheets over us with a quivering hand and can only nod and whimper in my hair. Ben kisses gently along my face as he slips a hand between my legs to make me suffer with him, and I stroke the arm and hand under my head. It feels so amazing that I feel like I’m in a dream.

Eventually we fall asleep, and when I wake up without Ben inside me, we sleepily resolve _that_ problem. He tenderly licks my gland and moves his hips slowly, while I hum and draw my nails lightly across his back. This time we both feel the knot, but I’m too turned on to stop. Poor Ben dozes off next to me and only huffs when his body pumps out more cum—which should be bizarre but feels normal.

I yawn and drift off, too. Ben’s okay… I guess.


	12. Gravamen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angsttttttAAAAA

  “This is bad.”

We’re lying on our sides, Ben curled protectively behind me with his chin hooked over my shoulder. Naked—duh—and I’m tied up on his knot. Dusty morning sunlight slits in through the shades and spills across our joined bodies resting beneath the sheets. I roll my eyes at his bellyaching, curling my toes. Why does he have to ruin _everything_ by talking?

 “Why?” I mumble.

He draws his fingers across my lower belly when his cock pulses with another load of cum. “I’m gonna die of dehydration if I pop every time we have sex.”

 “Saves me the effort of killing you myself.” A vague, strange threat. I don’t want him getting comfortable.

Alpha Rey prickles. No, we don’t want him getting comfortable. We’re not his broodmare. There’s no supple, fertile Omega womb to be found in us, just lust and conquest in taking something that isn’t meant to be taken. I’m every Alpha male’s white whale—not something precious and fragile like a holy grail, but a beast they can brag about skewering. Fucking me isn’t a religious experience.

The sated, sleepy voice keens. _our ben is not like that—familiar bond keeps us strong—!_

Ben runs his huge hand down my thigh. “You’re okay, though? Sorry I had to keep biting.” He nuzzles the back of my head and shifts his hips, tugging the knot. “You really _are_ a runner.”

 “It’s okay. I don’t mean to, but…”

 “Instincts.” He kisses the arch of my jaw. “I get it. Plus, it’s fucking hot.”

I feel another pulse of cum. We’ve had sex about five times already and Ben’s drunk about two gallons of water. But we fuck again as soon as he’s back in bed and I’m not sure we’ll ever stop. I smile at his words, listening to his grunt of pleasure as he releases inside me again. He flexes his hips.

 “Hot?” I echo. “Don’t you prefer Omegas going ass-up?”

 “Like lordosis? I mean, I did.” Ben hugs me tight, purring against my back. “But pinning you down and biting your neck is… intense. Satisfying, I guess—feels right. I don’t feel empty after.”

  _see????!!!!_ crows the little voice, exultant. _our ben is a good mate!_ She reflects on his cock currently locked inside me and hums. _we will never be empty again._

We’re steering into feelings territory and I’m not okay with it. I nod like I get what he’s talking about, hoping his knot deflates soon so I can get the fuck out of here. I’ve at least fifteen more minutes; maybe more. Thankfully I’m on suppressants and birth control, plus I’m an Alpha female and not super fertile. I’ll keep my independence.

Ben sighs. “I don’t know…” He settles closer, somehow not already deep inside me enough. “Fucking an Omega in heat is like acting out porn, I think. This is deeper.”

I try to laugh. “Is that a knot joke?”

 “No,” he mutters like he’s annoyed. “Forget it.”

We lie there for another entire half hour before Ben slips free of my pussy. I awkwardly squirm away from his embrace and clean up in the bathroom, pouring cum like a faucet, and take a quick shower. He’s waiting outside the door for me when I’m done and trails behind while I get dressed.

 “So, you’re okay?” Ben asks again. He scratches the back of his head, unashamed by his nudity. “Lots of knotting when you’re so tight.”

I shrug, shimmying into my jeans. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.”

He looks distressed. He nods and watches me for a minute before he pulls on clothes, too. I bristle on our way out to the kitchen. Why is he so fucking clingy all of a sudden? He should be happy that I’m not sobbing and needy—

Oh. _Oh._

Ben almost runs into me when I stop. He needs me to need him. He mentioned it a while ago. I’m not super comfortable being dependent, but…

I turn and look up into his dark, hopeful eyes. He smiles. This isn’t the same Alpha I met at some frat party. He’s changing, maybe because of our bond, and I feel like I’m staying the same. I’m afraid of the change; resisting it. Ben is letting it happen. He’s picking up Omega traits that I’m rejecting.

I smile back. “We could go to the mall? Maybe the bar after for a few drinks?” My throbbing cunt, slick with his cum, twinges as I shift my thighs. “It hurts—I just didn’t want to bother you.”

Ben goes all protective Alpha. He apologizes for being a dumbass and leads me into the bathroom to give me a Tylenol and soothe the angry purple gland on my throat. I sit quietly on the counter and enjoy the little butterflies in my stomach from being tended to and doted upon. It’s nice. I close my eyes while he licks the gland tenderly, cleaning it like instinct commands. This is nice.

He brushes my hair with a comb. “You’re not bugging me, jailbait. I don’t mind helping.”

I smile.

Once Ben is satisfied with his fretting, we head out into the sunny afternoon as a freshly mated Alpha pair. Well, we have to wait for our coinciding heat and rut for it to be official. I redden in the cheeks at the memories of last night and this morning. We’ve certainly fucked enough times by now.

My neck is a red and purple wreck. Ben glares down passerby who stare, curling his upper lip, and twines his fingers through mine. He has his black hair in a bun and my retaliatory bites down his own throat. We scream Alpha pairing. Omegas and Alphas don’t fuck like that. We’re animals to the core.

It’s a short stroll to the mall. We wander about and take in the sights and smells of the other pairings. Omegas on suppressants like Kaydel, Alphas lurking in groups looking for stray Omegas to fuck—it’s a wild place. Ben gets aggressive around Alpha males and I get the same way around Omega females, until roles reverse. It’s exciting and weird. We’re so _possessive_ of each other.

Ben smirks at me in Victoria’s Secret. He’s leaning on the wall with his thick arms folded and girls are staring. I try not to smirk back while I pick through panties and try to look like I’ve done it before.

 “What?” I snip.

 “I can feel things now.” He swats away a pair of medium panties. “Like you’re nervous and don’t know what you’re doing.”

I scowl. “I’m a medium!”

 “Yeah, in Walmart multipacks. Get smalls—and one or two thongs.” He shrugs off the wall and gives me a smug look. “I’m going to find you lingerie. Don’t wander off, jailbait.”

Ugh! I stick out my tongue at his back and scoop up random pairs of panties. Fuck him!

But I can feel the emotion he’s talking about. Ben exudes warm happiness. He’s satiated, like he’s finally eaten a big meal after starving for years. Sometimes he’s run through with anxiety and fear, but he thinks about me and goes back to joy. Weird. I’m the center of his happiness now. Everything he thinks and does revolves around me. It’s unsettling but satisfying at the same time.

Ben comes back to me with five too many outfits. He refuses to let me see and picks out more panties when I show him what I found. Women stare at us arguing while he grabs T-shirts and hoodies and sweatpants. What am I; a fucking advertisement?!

We carry on, buying jeans and skirts and blouses. Ben watches and criticizes when things mismatch. He carries the bags for me and I tentatively feel happy. I’ve never gone on a shopping spree. Ben buys whatever I ask for and then-some. He seems as happy as I am, and I have a sinking feeling it won’t last. It never does. Life throws a wrench. Nothing yet—but I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Rose texts me just as we walk back in to Ben’s apartment. She wants to go out, so does Finn, and Poe is bringing Jessika. None of us are even legal to drink, but no one is going to refuse three Alpha males what they want. I text her back and hear Ben scratching. I glance up and see him digging his fingers in along his throat, raking red lines up pale skin.

He growls. “That Kaydel cunt better not be there.”

 “Jeez, she’s just a kid. Lighten up.”

 “She knew what she was doing!” Ben snaps. He paces and I can sense something flickering beneath the surface. “Bet that’s why she came here in the first place. Too late now. You’re _mine_.”

I bark a laugh, but don’t indulge his possessiveness. The wrench cocks back.

It’s dark when we all meet outside the same joint where the little voice dragged me. Rose and Jess laugh at the bites on my neck, Ben grabs me and smugly offers to give me more, and Poe watches us with revulsion. Finn kind of pulls Rose away from Ben, maybe sensing something I can’t, but he’s always draped all over her. Rose tells me all the time about how gentle he is, like he’s afraid she’ll break.

Ben doesn’t have the same concerns. He pulls me around like a kid clinging to their favorite toy they’re afraid someone might steal. We argue on our way inside and keep arguing once we’re in the dark, pulsing club, surrounded by the scent of sweat and booze. I want him to stop fucking dragging me and he wants me to shut the fuck up and be dragged.   

 “You two are ridiculous,” Jess laughs as Poe leads her out to dance.

I wriggle my wrist free of Ben’s huge hand and slap it away when he tries to grab me again. He growls at an Omega wandering past and she bites her lower lip. I’ve noticed a few Omegas giving him weird looks. They’re nervous but interested and hover on the periphery. I’m not sure why.

Ben drinks. And drinks. And drinks some more. He gets louder and laughs at everything. I slip into the booth beside Rose and see her eyeing him like the other Omegas. Poe’s wasted and Finn is getting there, but she’s watching Ben.

I nurse my beer, shaking my head. “Is he as obnoxious as he seems?”

Rose doesn’t look at me. She might be drooling.

“Can’t you taste it?” she mumbles.

 “Taste what?”

Her dark eyes flicker to mine and she frowns. I can taste her Omega pheromones going off the wall, but she’s not in heat.

She laughs, kind of nervous. “Uh… Ben’s going into rut, Rey.”

Even little voice is confused. Rut? I don’t taste anything strange. I part my lips to draw in the scents in the room, but don’t find anything abnormal. Shouldn’t I be able to sense that like he can sense my heat? Aren’t I supposed to go nuts and throw myself at him? I take another sip of beer.

 “It takes a few days until it’s really intense,” Rose says quickly. “Omegas can sense it faster.”

 “I can tell,” I mutter as Omegas drift closer to Ben.

Rose sighs and rolls her eyes. “Moths to the flame, right? I’m keeping my butt right over here. Bet he’ll get in a fight with Poe by the end of the night.”

They _seem_ chummy—by there’s a biological dance unfolding before me that I don’t understand at all. Thousands of years enslaved to hormones and urges and here we are in the same exact spot. Ben is like catnip and other Alphas wander closer to prey on the Omegas fixated on him. It’s carnal. Subtle. This isn’t a mewling Omega in heat; no blood in the water that triggers a feeding frenzy. This is delicate.

I finish my drink and wander over to investigate. Ben is sprawled out in his chair and sipping whiskey in a tumbler, pretending to ignore the Omegas creeping closer. He catches my eye and I detect a trace of spice or tartness emanating from him; the first hints of rut. In the end, we’re all just animals following the evolutionary desire to breed.

Ben sets his drink down and leans forward, dragging me into his lap. I hiss at a woman sitting too close and Poe laughs. Finn heads off as Ben restrains my back to his chest, and for some reason, everyone leans closer to watch. It’s a small group of maybe ten people but it feels like much more.

 “Where you goin’?” Ben slurs. He holds my hips and smells my hair. “Wanna go home and wear some of that shit I bought you today?”

 “Fuck off!” I snap.

The tension in the room ratchets up as Ben seizes my jaw in one hand, pushing to expose my throat. Little voice whimpers and doesn’t fight back. Now I can taste the rut and my mind hazes over, refusing to resist him. He fans his other huge hand over my stomach and sucks on my bruised gland while the others watch and murmur. White whale. This is a once in a lifetime viewing. Pure dominance over a dominator. The Omegas gasp.

I’m reduced to jelly. The little voice gets louder and louder and I realize the unthinkable is happening—Ben’s rut is triggering my heat. I melt in his lap and he stumbles to his feet and drags me out of the bar. We don’t say goodbye to my friends. We’re half-mad.

I burst into tears on the walk back, abdomen tightening painfully. My body reacts fast and hard to Ben’s rut, like it knows this is it’s only chance to get knocked up, and I’m left floundering.

  _You’re not thinking straight_

This is pure fucking misery. Ben has to throw me over his shoulder to carry me back to the apartment and I scream the entire way. He trembles as he unlocks the door, just as screwed up as I am, and we barely make it inside before we’re clawing our clothes off. I roll around on the floor and on my belly and Ben manages to kick the door shut.

He drapes over my ass and I snarl, lashing out with my feet. He snarls back and tries to pin me, but I kick him off me and scramble away. My brain can’t reconcile the heat with Alpha independence and I’m a fucking mess. I’m dripping slick, desperate to be fucked, but the thought of it makes my skin crawl. I can’t get knocked up. I can’t be weakened by pregnancy and affection and love.

Ben catches me in the hall and drags me into our bedroom. He struggles to bite down on my gland to get control of me, but I yowl and bite his arm until blood pools in my mouth. He growls and quite literally drags me into the closet kicking and screaming. I can’t control anything I’m doing. I want him, but I’m terrified of him, and I’m terrified of what will happen to me.

The smells in the closet help me relax. Ben hovers by the door, bare chest heaving, and watches me cry and roll around in the blankets. His dark eyes glimmer with tears in the darkness.

 “I don’t know what to do,” he croaks. “Do you… do you want to do this?”

I clutch my head and squeeze my eyes shut. “I don’t know—I don’t know!”

 “Neither do I.” He cries too, and his deep voice breaks. “What the fuck are we doing? How are we supposed to do this? It’s so fucking exhausting and… I couldn’t live with myself if we fuck and you don’t want to.”

Which screaming voice in my head is _me?_ Will I ever know? Can I ever really consent?

Ben throws open the closet door. “I’m going to the crisis center. I can’t do this.” He staggers to his bedroom, groaning. “I can’t do this.”

I don’t follow him. I don’t beg him to come back like biology commands, and I don’t think about him when I masturbate in the closet all night. I don’t do any of those things, and I wish I did.


	13. Ultra Vires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dubcon

  _ben needs us—NOW_

I’m shivering in my ice water bath, struggling to control the burning under my skin that’s driving me to seek out Ben. My gut clenches like it’s punishing me for resisting the uncontrollable urge to fuck my mate and I double over with a pained moan. I’m not going anywhere—I’m not a fucking slave.

It’s pure misery. I’m freezing cold and the bath is only helping a little, plus I’m sore from masturbating for hours on end to keep the pain at bay. Now I’m too tired to do it and my lower body keeps tightening up, desperate to find relief from an Alpha male. My skin prickles at the thought of Ben biting my gland to shut me up while he fucks me. No fucking way.

Someone rings the doorbell.

I huff and manage to get out of the bath and drain the water. My own slick has mixed in with it so I need to draw a fresh bath anyway. Trembling, I dry off and put on a new set of pajamas Ben bought me that thankfully don’t smell like him yet. I can’t go in our bedroom or I’ll really lose my shit.

My ears ring on my walk to the door. The room spins and little voices whisper in my head about mating and pleasure and pregnancy. It’s so fucked up. Why can’t I have this erased from my DNA? Why am I trapped in this body that doesn’t even belong to me?

Kaydel stands outside the door and smiles when she sees me. Oddly, I can taste that she’s in heat, but it doesn’t attract me like I think it would. Her eyes go wide, pupils dilating, and she outstretches her hands toward me. She’s still in pajamas.

 “Rose said you had a fight with Ben,” Kaydel mumbles. She takes a step closer. “I… I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 _Or_ she’s in heat and not thinking straight. My brain is laser-focused on knots and cock and I slap Kaydel’s hands away, miffed that she can’t offer me those things. But my bizarre version of heat seems to entice her, and she whimpers and tries to come closer again. Ben might actually kill her if he sees she’s here.

I bare my teeth. I’m wobbling. “Get out of here, Kaydel. _Now._ ”

Her lower lip wavers. “But… can’t we just…” She gestures to her stomach. “It hurts. Something told me to come here.”

Instincts. Always fucking instincts.

Before I can repel her again, we hear footfalls in the hall. I peer out and see Jess and Poe through my hazy vision. They both seem frustrated, especially Poe. He hangs back when he picks up Kaydel’s heat. Jessika scowls and charges right up to her without a second thought.

 “What the hell is wrong with you?!” Jess demands. She grabs Kaydel’s wrist. “Paige is worried—”

The air buzzes and snaps. The other shoe drops.

Jessika jerks back like she’s been burned, eyes wide and horrified, and Kaydel does the same. They gasp in shock as bright red wavy marks appear where their skin touched: Jess’s palm and Kaydel’s wrist. Poe rushes over to investigate while I stand there with my mouth hanging wide open. It’s… it’s not possible…

Jess screams first. Kaydel blubbers and looks petrified as Poe gets in her face and demands to know what her problem is. I stare at them in dumb shock while they squabble over how the hell a Beta and Omega can be Familiars, and what the _fuck_ is happening. Instinct tugs at me again— _go find Ben._

I shuffle into my slippers and silently walk away from the scene unfolding and moving into the apartment. Blood throbs in my ears as I descend the stairs, shivering and sweating, and stumble outside. It’s too sunny. My blown pupils can’t stand it and my sensitive skin can’t tolerate the heat. I stagger like I’m drunk, squinting to look around. Have to find Ben. He’s out here, too.

Passerby stare. I’m too focused to care, and I don’t notice the other Alphas curiously inhaling my strange scent along the way. They’re not sure what to make of it, but neither am I. I’ve been cursed, I think.

  _ben,_ laments the little voice, _we need our ben—he will make this stop—make it better… ben… ben…_

My heart races, fluttering in my chest like a bird in a cage. I’m too hot and too cold at the same time. I read once that Omegas can die if they aren’t knotted during some intense heats. I wonder if I will? It feels like it. I’m burning up with potential energy that has nowhere to go.

Little voice brings me to the ominous clinic. The tinted windows keep out intruding eyes and you have to be buzzed in. I swallow a couple times before I press the bell.

 “Hello?” I say weakly. “I’m Rey Kenobi. I think my Familiar, Ben Solo, is here.”

A man buzzes back. “Yes, Miss Kenobi—please come in. He’s not well.”

I swell with panic as I enter the building. It has a nice waiting room, similar to Maz Kanata’s, but the door going to the back rooms has a serious-looking lock. Otherwise there are magazines and a television and blue carpet. This is a clinic strictly for emergencies, like uncontrolled heat or rut.

A woman with short blonde hair peers out and escorts me back. Her name tag tells me she’s Brenda. She offers a pitying look.

 “We can’t keep him here,” she says softly. “I’m so sorry, Miss. You know how it is with separation hysteria.” Her blue eyes roam the floor. “If you’re afraid of going home with him, maybe it’s easier to mate here instead. We can help if something happens. You can stay the whole week.”

 “I’m fine,” I lie. I’m not about to fuck around a group of strangers.

Ben’s screaming precedes him. I can’t feel much emotion from him except anger, and I hesitate as Brenda unlocks the door. It’s a cage, really. No windows. Padlocked, like he’s a rabid animal. The door groans open and I peek inside.

Everything has been smashed to shit. Ben broke their pretty twin bed, and the table lamp, and the nightstand. He’s ripped the bathroom door off it’s hinges and punched a couple holes in the concrete walls. I feel desperation and fear—I taste it hanging heavy in the room.

He paces a couple feet away, hands curled into bloody knuckles, and turns sharply when he hears us. His dark eyes are swallowed up by his pupils and his teeth are bared. His black hair hangs in a tangled curtain around his gaunt face, and he looks every bit the starving beast a hysterical Alpha male is described as. At least he has a hospital gown on.

 “Ben,” Brenda ventures, “Rey is here. Your Familiar. Do you remember her?”

It’s so sad. We’re both fucked up beyond comprehension, but Ben’s entire demeanor has flipped on its head. He nods, eyeing me. My belly gives a painful squeeze and to my great shame, my panties dampen. My body knows.

Brenda nods too. “Okay, good. I’m going to leave you two alone for a bit, okay?”

And she does. I’m left standing there with Ben looming a couple feet away, assessing me with his beastly black eyes. I glance at the camera in the upper corner of the room as he advances with slow, predatory steps. Biology I can’t hope to control is in motion and we’re just its pawns.

Ben growls when I shift on my feet like I’m going to run. I curl my toes in my slippers as he closes in with loud huffing, obnoxiously tasting the scent of me in the air, and he noses in my hair. My skin hums with anticipation and my mind quiets me while Ben snuffles around my scalp and shifts his huge body closer to mine. He presses his pulsing erection against my stomach and yanks on my top, still smelling my hair in a distracted way.

I’m not going to make this more dramatic than it has to be. Neither of us knows what we’re doing, but refusing will just make it that much more painful when it’s over. I swallow thickly as Ben rips through my top and does the same with my bottoms. When I rub my thighs together, he growls.

 “Stop moving,” he grunts. It’s deep and guttural and not his voice.

I shudder. He pulls me away from the wall by my hair and drags me to the broken bed. The mattress is intact, but torn in a few spots. Ben climbs in the bed behind me and I assume the lordosis position before I even think about it. My mind flutters at the prospect of being knotted, but I yowl from the thought of it, too. I don’t bother resisting the slew of emotions my mind runs through with each passing second.

The hospital gown flutters to the floor. “Shut up, bitch. Gonna knock you up.”

I snarl and kick. There’s no preamble or foreplay. Ben snarls back as he drapes across my back and penetrates me, skewering me on his cock. We hiss, both equally pissed off about our unnatural mating, and Ben pins my forearms to the mattress. Chemistry takes over our heads. I try to kick free and Ben buries his face in my neck to find the gland. My thoughts whip into a frenzy, furious about being taken, and I scream right before he bites down.

Skin breaks. I stop screaming as the bond takes hold between us, knitting me to Ben and vice versa. He holds on to the throbbing spot while he fucks me with wild abandon, and I’m suddenly… calm. The agonizing need to get the fuck away from him is gone in the blink of an eye. The tension leaves my muscles and I close my eyes, basking in a foreign sense of safety and comfort. I’m nearly lucid.

I can feel Ben’s heart pounding in his chest, but his emotions are otherwise a muddled mess. He releases the gland and slows his thrusts, switching to purring and licking my bleeding throat. I’m soaking the mattress. I whine as his tongue laps at the bite and sends little tendrils of pleasure through my mind. My raging Alpha side is finally shutting the fuck up.

 “Mine,” Ben rumbles. He slips a hand between my legs. “Gimme pups.”

He snuffles around in my hair, but the urge to run away doesn’t come back. I arch my hips into his thrusts and roll my hips on his fingers, enjoying the lewd wet sounds our bodies make. My skin isn’t hot anymore and the aching in my gut has gone away. I squirm a bit more and climax with an obnoxious wail that everyone in the building probably hears. Ben grasps my hips with both hands, panting against the back of my head, and pounds erratically, satisfying some primal urge in me. I cling to the mattress and moan.

 “Feels so fucking good,” he grunts. His grip is so tight I know it’ll leave bruises. “Gonna breed you—get my mate pregnant like she should be.”

 “Please,” I beg, finally breaking my silence.

Ben kisses the side of my head hard, groaning, and swears under his breath. “Is that what you want?”

No—but it’s hot in the heat of the moment. I nod and the little voice trills with excitement.

  _yes yes yes yes yes need pups need ben_

 “I need you,” I whimper. “Please knot me, Ben—please cum in me.”

He stills for a split second like he’s surprised, then nuzzles into the crook of my neck.

 “Say that again.”

 “W—which part?” I croak, close to coming again.

Ben rubs his thumbs in circles at the small of my back. “You need me.”

Oh—duh. Saying it doesn’t bring bile up like it used to. It’s nice. I can need him.

I swallow, now quivering with want. “I need you. That’s why I came all the way here and—”

He gives a hard thrust that cuts me off. He’s close. I can feel him throbbing inside me and I’m on the cusp of climaxing again. I claw at the sheets as he dips his hand to my clit and nips at the mating mark.

 “In the pajamas _I_ bought you,” Ben interrupts gruffly. “From _our_ apartment.” He swears and licks the mark, making me moan. “And I’m going to fuck you in _our_ nest when I’m done knotting you here—because you need me, and I give you what you need.”

 “Yes—yes!” I’m practically squealing in agreement and it’s a little embarrassing. “Please, Ben!”

 “That’s right,” he snaps, “you— _fuck_ ing—you _fucking_ need me!”

His climax comes abruptly and I come just from the sudden swelling of the knot. I wail his name and Ben bites my nape instead of the gland, still flooding me with warm pleasure and calm. He shudders and gives another jerky thrust, tugging the tight knot, and we feel the first load of cum spurt out of him. My eyes widen at the sensation and I have _another_ orgasm while Ben struggles to keep from falling on top of me.

 “Holy _shit!_ ” he gasps. He buries his face in my neck and whimpers, shifting on top of me. “Jesus Christ!”

The overwhelming need to fuck begins to fade. Panting, I’m helpless as Ben rolls us over on our sides, partially lying on top of me. His chest and throat vibrate with a purr as he yanks a blanket from the floor and fans it across us. We’re sweaty and sated. I’m ready for a nap.

Ben kisses my nape, wriggling closer behind me. His heart thrums contentedly against my back. I’m… okay? I don’t want to run away. I’m safe here. 

We’re quiet for a while. Ben trails kisses along my neck and nape and traces his fingertips along my ribcage. I figure he’s processing what just happened like I am, unsure of what we did was entirely consensual. I don’t feel violated. I feel better than I have in a long time—peaceful, like I can rest. All sides of me are settled in symbiosis.

My mate is still in rut, even though it should end after knotting. I can taste him in my mouth; feel his primal need to _be_ needed. I’m not sure I can give him exactly what he wants, but it’ll be easier from here on out. No screaming instincts making it fucking brutal just thanking him for the simplest stuff.

He sucks rhythmically on my gland as a load of cum releases and we both squirm with pleasure. It’s relaxing in a way—like getting a back scratch. Ben cups under my belly button on the next spurt and rubs deep and hard, and I feel his cum squishing around in me. It’s fucking hot.

 “You’ll get more when we go home,” he whispers, lips brushing my nape. “I’ll make your nest comfortable and bring you whatever snacks you want. I have to keep the future mother of my pups happy or she might rip my face off.”

The heavy metal door begins to open before I can answer. Ben stiffens and growls, readjusting the blanket to cover me more, and he ends up tugging it over my head. I blink in the green light.

 “…Throw her in like a fucking broodmare?!” A woman is speaking in a sharp, irritated tone. “Incompetent fucks! She’s going to be traumatized!”

Ben snarls and curls over me. I taste Alpha in the room and quickly realize it’s another woman. My heart patters faster and my mate jostles the knot as he moves around beside me. It triggers another load of cum that makes my eyes roll back. Oh god, this is so humiliating…

The woman barks a laugh. “I’m not afraid of you, brute. Let me see her face.”

 “Get _out,_ ” Ben snaps.

Heels click on the floor. The blanket moves and I blink into the light, catching the gaze of a very tall blonde woman looming over us. Ben hisses and spits and she seizes his jaw, shutting him up in an instant. I worm my back into his chest. She looks fucking terrifying, but I recognize her from a book sleeve. Phasma.

She smiles coldly at Ben. “I know—you’re not used to being told ‘no,’ are you? Think you can punch and shout your way out of everything?” Her long fingers tighten. “Well, I have some bad news. This girl doesn’t belong to you, no matter how hysterical you are. Beast.”

Phasma shoves him back and addresses me by crouching at the side of the bed. She has a strong presence. Thankfully, she smiles at me.

 “Hello, Rey. I’m Phasma. Are you okay? Did he force you?”

I blink. “Um… no. I mean… I don’t think so.”

 “Okay.” She pats my head and stands. “Hang in there, dear. I’ll be waiting outside whenever you’re off the knot.” Her blue eyes snap to Ben. “They like to tell you he can’t help it, but he can. Isn’t that right, beastie?”

He clings to me like he’s afraid I’ll disappear. Phasma gives him one last dirty look before she leaves us in peace. I stare after her and frown. Ben didn’t force me. We just did what we had to do.

Right?


	14. Bona Vacantia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so let's see

Ben’s still agitated when I come off the knot. He huffs and grunts like an animal and sniffs my hair while I get dressed. I swat him away, huffing back, but he’s insatiable. He stays a foot behind me the entire way and snarls when we leave the room. I feel much better—clear and reasonable. Maybe we’re reversed in a lot of ways: his rut is worse than my heat.

I glare at Ben over my shoulder. “You need to calm down. This Phasma chick is clearly not a fan of male Alphas.”

He grunts and nuzzles my forehead. “You’re my bitch. I’m gonna knock you up and kill ‘er.”

 “Yeah? You think?” I grab his jaw and shake his goofy head. “Is that your fucking master plan? Get me pregnant and commit murder?”

Ben edges me up to the wall and shoves his abnormally hot body against mine, dark eyes lidded with lust. A nurse scurries past us as he dips his lips to my throat and rolls the mark through his teeth, grunting like a wild animal. He hitches my calf on his hip and settles between my thighs with a few rubs of his cock on my groin. I huff, embarrassed, and push his broad chest. The mark makes me feeble.

 “I’ll kill her first,” Ben mutters, lips brushing the mark, “then bring you home and knot you again.” He paws at my pajama pants. “Take ‘em off.”

 “Ben, I swear to god—”

 “He’s going to behave this way for a week.”

We glance down the hall and see Phasma standing a few feet away. Ben curls his upper lip and refuses to let me away from the wall. He growls, giving her a dirty look, and goes back to sucking gently on the mark. She raises an eyebrow and closes the distance in two sharp strides, then rips Ben away from me by the collar of his shirt.

He rounds on her with a snarl and she snarls back. I have no desire to participate in their pissing match and roll my eyes when Ben throws a punch that Phasma deflects. I yank him back and try to keep the two of them from ripping each other’s throats out.

 “Okay!” I snap. “What do you need from us, Phasma?”

She shoots Ben another glare. “Paige Tico told me about your predicament, Rey, and I agreed to come to recruit you to my cause. I’d no idea the brute would be in rut. Now he won’t piss off long enough for us to talk.”

 “ _My_ mate!” Ben hisses. He wraps me in a possessive embrace from behind, squeezing until I wheeze. “MINE!”

I claw at his forearms, grunting. “Cause? Aren’t you a lawyer for Alpha soulmates?” I scowl. “Why do you keep calling him a brute?”

 “I am—but I’m far more invested in the rights of Alpha females.” Phasma slips a business card in the front pocket of my pajama top. “After a week of tolerating this beast, I think you’ll understand. Call me. He won’t let us be alone to talk right now.”

Phasma’s words annoy me a little. Maybe it’s because the bond with Ben is still fresh and I’m feeling protective of him, but our first encounter puts a bitter taste in my mouth. I don’t need to be liberated from Ben. Yeah, he’s an _ass_ sometimes, but right now he’s in rut and can’t help it. Even when he can… I don’t know.

She leaves without another word.

I check Ben out of the clinic and manage to get him back to the apartment without him killing someone. He slowly starts losing his mind again during the walk, stumbling and shielding his eyes as his pupils dilate, growling. Dread coils in my stomach. He’s going to be this way for a _week?_ What the hell am I supposed to do; be his babysitter?

He breaks out in a cold sweat, muttering under his breath and trembling. It’s a lot like how I am during heat and I don’t fucking know if I’m even in heat anymore. I turn the key in the apartment door, but it bursts open before I can turn the handle.

Kaydel stands there, eyes puffy and red, and I see Poe and Jessika on my couch. Ben takes a sharp breath through his mouth at the same time I do.

Rut doesn’t care about who Ben is fucking. I manage to wrestle him to the floor when he goes for Kaydel first, who’s heat is painfully obvious, but I also smell Jess and almost lose control of myself. Poe is the only one with a level head and that’s the most terrifying part of the entire situation.

 “Please!” Kaydel wails. “Please, Alpha!”

Ben snarls, thrashing underneath me. “I’m gonna kill her—I’m going to fucking _kill her!_ ”

I pin down his hands, panting. “Okay, apparently I misread that situation and you still just hate Kaydel. Poe can you fucking do something?!”

Jess is crawling towards us too, and Poe is about to lose his shit and go into rut. I look around the room in terror, about to watch Ben snap some poor girl’s neck and Jess either jump my mate or her boyfriend in the middle of the living room. My eyes well up with tears. I fucking hate this. I want everything to go back to normal.

Paige shows up at that moment with Rose and Finn in tow. They’re all level-headed and help get control of the situation. Paige grabs Kaydel, Rose pulls Jess out the door, and Finn drags Poe out while he snaps and snarls, eyes turning black. They’re gone before I can explain the crazy shit that happened earlier.

The tears turn into sobs and I shove off Ben to get to my feet. He sits up and blinks at me owlishly, then grabs my hips and pulls me back to him. He tugs down my pajama pants and panties, and his mouth is on me before I can stop him. It feels good, but I only let him go for a split second before I yank on his hair to make him stop. He grunts, eyes wide.

I cry even harder. “Eating me out isn’t emotional comfort, asshole! Fuck off!”

Ben’s throat bobs and he tries to circle my clit with his thumb. I’m so mad that I try to slap him across the face, but he grabs my wrist mid-swing and stands up, too. I try to slap him with my other hand and he grabs that too, pushing me back through the living room toward the hallway.

 “You’ll feel better in the nest,” he mutters.

 “All my friends are fucked up and you think I want to have sex?!” I resist his pushing when we get to the bedroom, furious. “Go back to the clinic if you’re going to act this way!”

 “Can’t,” Ben grunts. “Can’t be away from you. Don’t wanna be away from you.”

It’s broad daylight and the room is still a mess. Ben holds one wrist while he peels the sheets off the bed, still sweating bullets. His palm is clammy and his cheeks look flushed. For all intents and purposes, he seems sick.

He throws me in the closet and I collapse in a pile of pillows, quickly turning on my back. Ben mumbles as he rearranges everything, circling the nest to make sure it’s all to his liking. I wait until he’s not looking to escape. Fuck this. _Fuck this._

I scramble out of the nest on my hands and knees, but he catches me by the bedroom door. He grunts as he tries to contain me and I scream angrily. Ben huffs in my ear and yanks my hair to turn my neck aside, going for the mating mark to shut me up. I claw at the carpet and kick my feet. I’m emotional and upset and I’m not going to be his—

He bites down.

A shudder passes through me, and I go slack under my mate’s weight. Ben purrs in his chest, switching to sucking tenderly on the spot, and calm settles over my tense muscles. I whimper and he tugs on the hem of my pants to get them down my thighs to my knees. We’re about to have sex, but I don’t care anymore. I gaze at the wall as Ben pulls my hips up.

 “You smell like that Omega bitch.” He works his pants down, still leaning across my back, and huffs. “I’m going to kill her for touching my bitch. She can get her _own_ bitch.”

 “Stop saying bitch,” I mumble.

Ben sinks inside me without warning. I gasp at the abrupt sensation of being full of him, and he swears like he always does when he first penetrates me. He pulls my hair and thrusts deep enough that I hiss in pain, but I don’t want him to stop. His other hand dips between my thighs and he clicks his teeth next to my ear.

 “Why?” he growls. “You like when I fuck you from behind and you’re going to whelp my pups—that makes you a bitch.” Ben yanks my hair. “Doesn’t it?”

 “I’m not having any pups with you before I go to college,” I retort breathily.

Ben hums. “Why not? I’ll stay home with them. Remember? I promised I would.” He circles my clit with his fingertip, listening to me moan for a minute before continuing. “You can go fight your battles and go to school, then come home and take my cock.”

Little voice perks up. _such a thoughtful mate—so kind and sweet and loving—make pups with mate!!!!_

I squirm, smiling a little bit. “Well I’m still on the pill and the odds of me getting pregnant are slim to—”

Ben abruptly withdraws and leaves the bedroom, adjusting his pants. I’m pained by the loss of him and scurry behind while tugging up my bottoms. Little voice panics and drives me to find him rifling through my purse in the living room.

He takes out my packet of pills and walks over to the sink. I panic and chase after him as he pops them from the blister pack and flushes them down the drain, shoving me back with his elbow.

 “Stop!” I demand. “Ben! Stop!”

 “No! You’re supposed to give me _pups_!” He finishes the pack and turns to grab my wrists, glowering. “You have to. You will.”

Ben shoves me into the island. His dark eyes are wide and black, hungry, and I know he isn’t thinking straight. I scream in his face and goes for the mark on my neck before I can stop him. I seize his jaw and shove back, scowling, and he rubs his cock on me. This isn’t going to end well. This whole thing isn’t going to end well.

He turns me around and pulls down my pants. I cling to the kitchen island as Ben pushes inside me again, grunting and muttering under his breath. He fucks me hard, sucking on the mark, and I climax on his fingertips with a moan. It takes a few seconds for him to drag me down the hallway and climb on top of me again in the nest.

It’s dark and quiet. Ben settles between my thighs, dark eyes on mine, and watches my face as he guides his head inside me. I arch my hips to meet his thrusts, whimpering, and he kisses me deeply. Feels good. Feels so fucking good.

 “No more suppressants,” he whispers into my lips. “Just me and you and our babies. I’ll take care of you.”

I swallow hard and laugh. “Yeah? How?”

 “I have things aside. You won’t have to worry about money, Rey.” Ben laughs and kisses my temple. “Just worry about carrying our pups and going to school.”

It makes me emotional all over again. I cling to Ben’s shifting shoulder blades and cry into his neck, and he frets until I assure him I’m okay. He fucks me into the soft nest, and I come again with him suckling on my neck, then he climaxes inside me. Ben grunts and licks my tits as he fills me with cum and his knot inflates, locking us together.

He sighs. “My mate. My sweet mate.”


	15. Sui Generis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i need to speed things up lolol
> 
> also sorry she keeps moaning about consent but i mean that's a pretty bfd and a lot of a/b/o is like MEH about it and i find it detracts from the plot
> 
> it's a pretty major loss of autonomy and dignity to be biologically coerced into fucking someone (aka fuck or die trope) and i don't think an independent 17 year old girl would be super excited about being stuck in that situation with a 30-ish year old man who she doesn't know very well

It takes a few attempts to finally get out of the bedroom. Ben doesn’t even want to let me leave the nest, but I manage to convince my batshit insane mate that peeing in a bucket is unsanitary. His dilated pupils follow me as I stumble to my trembling feet, very much feeling like the broodmare he promised me I’m not. He stalks me down the hallway to the bathroom, looming like a dark cloud.

 “I love you,” he calls through the door while I’m in the midst of pissing.

I have my head in my hands. I’m not sure what to think about our past few sexual encounters. He’s even more forceful than before, and he threw out my suppressants. I can just go buy more, but… Am I allowed to be pissed off? Is he conscious of what he’s doing or is he taken over completely by the rut?

The door rattles. I glance over and see Ben worming his fingers underneath, whimpering like a needy puppy. My eyes stay riveted on his undulating fingers on the tile and I swallow hard.

 “Come back,” he calls feebly. “I miss you.”

I want to make a snarky comment and tell him to fuck off. Instead, tears well up in my eyes, and I tangle my fingers in my hair. I don’t want to go back out. I’m so tired. I’m afraid of what will happen if I say ‘no’ and he keeps going anyway. It’s not something I can reconcile in my mind—it’s not something I can live with.

I wash my hands and turn on the shower. Ben whines at the door the whole time I scrub the sweat and cum off my skin. He scratches the wood while I dry off my hair and rattles the handle when I touch it with my fingertips. I hesitate.

 “Ben,” I say. I haven’t spoken since coming in the bathroom.

 “Yes? Yes?” The door groans as he leans his weight on it. “Do you need help? Are you okay?”

 “I don’t want to… have sex right now.”

He falls silent. I do too, waiting for his reaction with bated breath. I’m naked in more ways than one.

Ben doesn’t respond, but I hear him stand up and walk away. I don’t know what to make of that, so I open the door and peer down the hallway. He’s heading to the kitchen, not the bedroom. I want a shirt, but I’m afraid going to the bedroom will be an invitation for sex. I skitter to the kitchen.

He’s bent backwards over the sink drinking water straight from the faucet, dark eyes hazy and unfocused. His gaze wanders to me as I approach like the frightened rabbit I am. It’s unnerving being trapped in an apartment with a man twice my size who is irrationally horny.

The muscles in Ben’s pale, pink-flushed abdomen tighten as he stands up straight. He doesn’t wipe the water off his mouth. When he turns toward the fridge, I see a myriad of red scratches and half-moon imprints from my nails across his broad, rippling back. I stare at them as he gets something out of the fridge and sets it on the island.

 “Food,” he grunts.

It’s Tupperware containers with plain cooked chicken, assorted vegetables, and fruit. I tiptoe closer to inspect the offering and Ben goes back to the fridge for something else. It’s not fancy, but I’m stupid fucking hungry. I hook my pinky over the container with chicken and drag it to the other end of the island, still trying to put distance between myself and my mate.

Ben downs about a dozen hard boiled eggs without blinking an eye while I pick at my chicken. He eats even more: a couple carrots, two chicken breasts, and broccoli, and I realize he must have precooked everything a few days ago. Did he sense the rut coming and try to prepare for it?

I eat most of my food and guzzle about a gallon of water. Ben drinks more water and some Gatorade and I’m struck by the sheer insanity of this whole thing. We can quite literally fuck ourselves to death. Ben can jizz enough that it dehydrates and kills him—what a way to go.

He grabs my arm when we’re done eating and drags me down the hallway to the bathroom. I’m pulled into the shower under the spray while he cleans off and he growls threateningly when I peer out of the curtain. His dark eyes are tired and sunken.

Ben dries off and shoves me out of the bathroom. I take the opportunity to find Phasma’s business card and shoot her a text about meeting up to talk. There’s no harm in that. I also text Jess and Rose to see how everyone’s doing with the new Familiar pair and park my butt on the living room floor. Still need a new fucking couch.

I’m suddenly shoved forward. I catch myself on my palms, but Ben grabs my nape and pins me to the floor by my neck, tugging my hips up with his other hand. He doesn’t say a word as he positions himself between my thighs. I’m helpless to resist, cheek rubbing raw on the carpet, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t say it. If he keeps going anyway—

 “STOP!” I yelp, blurting out my refusal.

Ben stops.

My heart flutters as he flips me over on my back and regards me with his hungry dark eyes. He really does look like a wild animal. His broad shoulders tremble, black hair strewn in damp clumps across his forehead, and his cock pulses inches from my cunt. I swallow hard, trembling.

  _alpha male,_ little voice whispers reverently. She really needs to get a fucking life. 

Ben blinks, gaze beady like a shark’s. “Stop? Why?”

 “I don’t need a reason. I’m not your property.”

 “…But I want to fuck you.” He palms his erection to illustrate his point.

 “Well I don’t want you to.”

He clenches his jaw and leans back in his heels. I follow, slowly sitting up in front of him. Ben absentmindedly strokes his cock while he stares at me staring at him.

The muscles strain in his neck. “It hurts. I have to fuck someone.” His eyes roll back for a split second and he groans. Precum beads at his head. “…Can’t just ignore it.”

My mind drifts to the heavy pain in my gut during heat. I could ignore it. Kind of. It took a lot of masturbation to keep the pain at bay, and even then I was desperately seeking out my mate.

I watch Ben’s casual touching switch to jerking himself off. He huffs a growling breath as he picks up the pace and we both watch his dick like we expect it to do something interesting. He puts his stray hand on my thigh, arching up on his knees and furiously stroking his cock. His long face tightens into a scowl like he’s pissed off about having a dick at all. He’s just as much of a slave to his genitalia as I am to mine, and we both fucking hate it.

He pushes me on my back and arches over my prone form. Ben grunts and groans and the knot slowly begins filling with blood. He takes a few sharp breaths and swears when he finishes, spraying me with thick ropes of cum, and his other hand quickly grasps at the knot. I twist away from the copious amounts of semen, but most of it coats my breasts and stomach. Ben doesn’t make sounds of pleasure like he does during sex—he keeps swearing and hissing through his teeth.

Then he collapses beside me, still clutching the knot with one hand and kneading it. He exhales and drapes his forearm over his eyes while cum continues oozing out of his erection.

I can’t help but stare. “Is that… normal?”

 “Happens when I jerk off during rut.” Ben winces and kneads out another surge of cum. “Hurts like a fuckin’ bitch.”

 “…Stop touching it?”

He grunts, spitting ‘fuck!’ and squeezing until his knuckles turn white. His face contorts like he’s in actual pain and guilt overwhelms my sense of relief.

 “It backs up if I do that!” he snaps. “Why do you think I always find some Omega cunt to fuck? I have to do her fucking job and—” He moans, bucking his hips as his erection twitches and spills again. “M-Milk it out. That’s part of why I was so pissed off about being stuck with you.”

Oh. That would probably make me pretty mad, too. I twiddle my thumbs for a minute.

 “How long does it last?” I ask.

 “Knot goes down in ten minutes. My hand doesn’t feel like a pussy. Then I’ll just be sore and pissy for the rest of the day.” Ben lifts his arm slightly to look at me. “Why?”

I turn on my side and reach out for the knot. He swats my hand away.

I scowl. “I’m trying to help, dick.”

 “I don’t need a sympathy handjob!” he retorts. “And you said you don’t want to, so—” He gasps, clenching his knot. “Don’t.”

So I don’t. We lie there in relative silence, Ben occasionally grunting when more cum leaks out of him. The knot goes down and he rests his drenched hand on his lower stomach and falls asleep. I get a washcloth and clean him up as best as I can. His erection doesn’t go away. I’m sure it hurts.

I stare at the ceiling while Ben sleeps. It’s done—I said no and he stopped. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders knowing that I have some ability to control what’s happening to me. But he’ll have to go elsewhere to relieve the rut if I refuse to, or I’ll have to watch him writhe in pain until it’s over. It’s not that I don’t _want_ to have sex, I just… I need to know I have my autonomy.

And I don’t, really. I can’t stand the thought of Ben fucking someone else and I can’t stand watching him on the brink of tears from pain. I can’t leave during his rut or he’ll go into separation hysteria. Tears sting the corners of my eyes. I really don’t have a choice, but that’s not Ben’s fault. He _did_ stop. At least I can cling to that.

He rouses when I curl up alongside him on the floor. His chest rumbles with some drowsy sentiment and he lazily rolls over on top of me. I don’t resist so he doesn’t bother biting down on the mating mark. I can sense sleepy desperation and the vague pain still throbbing from his cock as Ben presses inside me without saying a word. He heaves a sigh when he bottoms out, nuzzling the side of my head.

 “Much better,” he mumbles. His thrusts are languid, like he might still be asleep. “I’m sorry, Rey.”

I cling to his shoulder blades, breathless. “Don’t be.”

He has nothing to apologize for. I get it now—it’s like breathing or sleeping or your heart beating. You can’t control it, even if sometimes you wish you could force yourself to fall asleep, or make your pounding heart slow down. This is a grander scale, yet somehow far more personal. We’re Familiars; soulmates, part of the same living unit split into two separate bodies, and this is just another biological function.

Ben keeps up the slow, steady pace. He kisses my jaw, avoiding the mating mark, and murmurs compliments in my ear. I laugh and trail kisses down the line of his jaw, winding my legs around his calves to bring him deeper. A different pleasure buzzes in the back of my head, like warmth and comfort.

 “Feels so good,” Ben sighs into my hair. “You’re so sweet. On the inside.” I can practically hear him roll his eyes. “Very _deep_ inside.”

 “Same to you,” I mutter.

He’s just as pent-up as he claims and climaxes within a couple minutes. I bite my lower lip as I finish seconds after from the pulsing sensations in his cock. Ben swears and tears at the carpet, fucking me hard into the floor with his orgasm. He tries to restrain himself with longer strokes but it doesn’t work. I close my eyes and relish the sensation of him spilling inside me, knot popping, and his breathy gasps of ‘oh god, oh god.’

Then we’re locked together like every other time we’ve had sex. Ben shudders with the aftershocks and pants on my ear, just barely holding his weight with one arm. I run my fingers through his damp hair and start humming. He laughs.

 “What?” I ask a bit sharper than intended.

 “You’re purring. I’ve never heard you purr.” His hips jerk and he groans. “Christ, this feels fucking sublime.”

 “Purring?” I echo.

Ben can only manage a nod before he comes again. I frown at the realization as he rolls over on his back with me in top of him. It tugs the knot and the poor guy whimpers and spurts more cum inside me. I’m relaxed, but he’s not.

I nuzzle under Ben’s jaw and curl an arm up to keep touching his hair. The humming begins without me noticing, but this time I don’t question it. I drift off to sleep on top of my mate after he’s gone five minutes without having a mini orgasm. He kisses my temple.

 “Love you,” he yawns.

Half asleep, I grunt ‘love you’ back to him.


	16. Pace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so because i don't pre-plan my fics at all and kind of roll with how the vibe of the story takes me, they tend to end w/o much warning, and i'm pretty sure this is where i want to end ATL. i'll do an epilogue either way, but going on past this feels to me like it's going to drag the story on. maybe... i'll see how i feel tomorrow lolol

 “Okay, now you _have_ to tell me what you went to jail for.”

We’re sitting on the kitchen floor—well, Ben is—knotted together from our most recent bout of rut sex. Poor Ben is about ready to take an Ambien and call it a day if it’ll shut his hormones up. I’m in his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist, a blanket draped over my shoulders and one under Ben. I scrape my yogurt container and offer him a bite.

He grunts and opens his mouth like a half-dead chick. I tug his jaw down and feed him the raspberry yogurt before eating another mouthful myself. His pale chest is riddled with scratches from me and shines with sweat. I’ve tried to fix his hair a couple times, but it’s a tangled mess.

Ben shifts his shoulders on the island he’s leaning against, wincing. “Assault and battery, selling pot. Did a couple years.” He leans forward to nuzzle under my chin. “Stupid shit.”

 “Who did you assault and batter?”

 “Random guys in bar fights.” His eyelids flutter, then he stiffens and whimpers as he comes inside me. I keep eating my yogurt while his hips shift underneath me and he grasps my waist to move me the way he wants.

 “We have to go to the clinic,” I say offhandedly. “Since you flushed my suppressants.”

He huffs and rides out his orgasm, then goes limp again. I raise my eyebrows at his sleepy roaming eyes and tap his lips with another offering of yogurt. He barely opens his mouth to eat it.

 “No pills,” he mumbles.

 “ _Yes_ pills.” I tap his nose with the spoon and he whines. “I’m too young, dickhead.”

Ben snorts. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll take care of you.”

I roll my eyes and don’t bother responding. He’s still in rut, so he’s not thinking straight. I lean up to grab a water bottle off the island and offer it to him, then lean back to open the fridge for another yogurt. Ben splutters on his water and slaps the back of the island hard as he comes again.

 “Rey!” he gasps. “Jesus—!”

It happens every time I tug on the knot, like his body is worried I’ll get away without getting pregnant. I settle in his lap again with my strawberry banana yogurt and casually peel off the lid as he swears and covers his face while he climaxes.

We’ve had sex in almost every part of the apartment now. I do other stuff while he’s locked inside me: eat, read a book, watch TV. Cuddling and napping gets kind of old.

Ben slips out of me after a few more minutes and goes to take a shower. I clean myself up until it’s my turn, not dumb enough to tempt him with my wet body next to his, and watch _Maury_ in the meantime. Our new couch is here: a beige sectional that covers half of the living room. I lick my spoon and watch the drama on TV, curled up naked on the couch.

Sharp pain suddenly lances up my elbow and I yelp in shock. I leap off the couch and hear Ben growl from the bathroom. The fuck?!

 “Sorry!” he calls. “Hit my damn elbow.”

We said the dreaded three words, so our soulmate bond is growing deeper. I already Googled it. We share pain now, and after a few more months we’ll start sharing ‘pleasure.’ I have vague sensations of his emotions sometimes and vice-versa, but apparently that solidified after _years_ together. The mating mark should speed things up, though.

I settle back in my spot as the pain ebbs away from my elbow. Guess I’m committing to this thing if I said ‘I love you’—not that I have much of a choice. But if I did, I’d still pick Ben. Now that he’s learning some _manners_ , he’s just an asshole instead of being a terrifying asshole. I can deal with the prior. I’m a bit rough around the edges, too. I wouldn’t mix well with someone like Finn.

Finn’s perfect for Rose, though. It’s a little sickening. I send her a text to let her know Ben’s still in rut and we’re hanging out inside and ask how Finn’s doing. She answers a minute or two later: _same fucking problem here._

 “Rey?”

I keep texting when Ben’s morose, tired voice calls from the hallway. “Yeeeeah?” I call back.

He shuffles his feet. “I’m going to sleep for a bit. I think it’s almost over.”

“Okay. I’m gonna shower and go grab more suppressants. Should only take fifteen minutes for the trip, so just call me if you’re going bonkers.”

Ben peers into the living room, dark eyes heavy with exhaustion. He looks pretty pathetic: black sweatpants low on his hips, bare chest all covered in scratches and half-moon imprints from my nails, black hair wet and plastered to his head. I pout my lower lip and dance over, arching on my tiptoes to kiss his forehead. He whimpers and slouches over, nuzzling under my jaw.

 “Can you get some tea?” he mumbles into my throat. “It helps me sleep.”

 “Mhm. Chamomile?”

 “Please.” He leans his weight on me, groaning. “I’m so fucking tired, but I get these jolts of energy and just wanna fuck you. Can’t think of anything else.” Ben wraps his arms around my waist and gives a hard squeeze. “Love you.”

My heart skips a beat. I awkwardly pat him on the back and swallow down my dry throat.

 “Love you, too.”

Then he shuffles off to bed and I go hop in the shower to wash off the sweat and cum. I scrub my hair and shave my legs, and I feel much better when I get out. While I brush my teeth, I nudge the door open with my foot and head Ben snoring in the bedroom. I roll my eyes and smile. I’ll get his tea, anyway. He’ll bitch if I don’t.

Once my hair is up in a ponytail, I throw on jeans and a green tank top and head out the door.

It’s a nice day. The sky is blue and cloudless and no one stares at the biting mark on my neck or the Familiar scar on my upper arm. I stretch my arms toward the sky and yawn. Knowing Ben is fast asleep upstairs gives me a strange sense of satisfaction. Mine.

 “Hey, Rey!”

I turn and squeal when I see Rose, all decked out in a skirt and fancy blouse. She squeals too and we meet in a high-pitched embrace. We start chatting immediately about how weird rut is and show each other the different marks all over our bodies. People give us weird looks.

Rose dances in a turn to show me a bite mark on her shoulder. “He bit me! After that I told him I need a freakin’ break.” She pokes the mating mark on my neck and laughs. “How’s this working out?”

 “Not bad. He’s not being as much of an asshole now.” I check my phone to make sure Ben hasn’t texted me. “He had that separation hysteria thing and I had to go pick him up from the clinic. I think he might have a coronary if we fuck again.”

Rose and I laugh hysterically, clinging to each other to keep from falling over. It’s kind of hilarious that our mates can _fuck themselves to death._ What the fuck? I still don’t get that.

I clear my throat when we get a hold of ourselves. “So, what’s up with Kaydel and Poe and Jessika? They doing okay?”

 “Yeah, they’re just shaken up. Jess is in heat, so she’s with Poe.” Rose shrugs, folding her arms over her chest. “Jessika hates Kaydel, so they’re not pairing off or anything. Paige can’t be involved with it, so she’s dropping her off at a shelter after the weekend.”

 “Ugh… that’s awful. I’d help if Ben didn’t want to kill her. How’s Poe?”

Rose rolls her eyes. “Himself. He says he and Jess have an ‘obligation’ to take care of Kaydel.”

 “Is… Jess okay? With the heat stuff.”

 “Yeah, she’s fine. Poe’s humping her through it.”

I laugh, covering my mouth. “You’re fucking awful.”

We walk to the clinic and I ask Isaac the receptionist for a new bottle of suppressants. They double as birth control (thank god) so Ben’s pipe dreams of impregnating me are just that: pipe dreams. I thank Isaac and Rose picks hers up, too.

Dr. Kanata emerges from the back and we chat for a bit. I let her know Ben and I are doing pretty well and we haven’t killed each other yet. She seems happy about it. She pats my arm and adjusts her big glasses before heading back to her patients.

I pop one of my suppressants while Rose talks about her plans with Finn after graduation. He’s staying wherever she is, obviously. We’re starting college soon and I’m still not totally sure where Ben stands on that. He says he’s okay with me going (he better be), but I’m not sure how that’s going to work with the separation hysteria.

What if Ben goes into rut when I’m in the middle of a final? Or a trial? Am I supposed to bring him to fricken work with me? I rub my forehead and smile at Rose while she talks. I’m glad she’s happy. She deserves it, honestly.

Jess? Eh. She hasn’t been the greatest friend—ever—and I know she’s upset right now, but I can’t really help her. Poe has been an asshole from the start and I still think she should dump him and find someone worth her time. Plus, I really don’t want to be around Kaydel. At all.

I grab lunch with Rose down the street from the clinic, feeling better than I have in a very long time. We’re both marked and in love with our Familiars and mates, which is much more than I ever hoped for. I laugh along with her about how clingy they get and how weird heat is while I eat my pastrami sandwich. Life isn’t so bad.

My phone vibrates. I unlock it and see Ben has already messaged me six times:

  **Captain Asshole:** _where are you_

_Rey_

_Rey_

_i’m awake_

_jaiiiiiilbbbbbaaaaaiiiittttt_

_will u die if I nut in your mouth and knot_

I rub my face with my free hand and Rose raises her eyebrows.

 “Wife calling?” she asks, smirking.

 “He’s up from his nap.” I shake my head and ignore the texts for a minute. “Does Finn act like a toddler, or is it just Ben?”

Rose snorts and tears a chunk off her sandwich. “Oh no, Finn gets all needy when he’s done. He tries to pretend he’s not because of that whole Alpha thing, but guess rut makes them extra clingy. You should go before he goes all psycho.”

Before I can answer, I feel someone pinch the back of my neck. I yelp and spin around, ready to rip their face off, but there’s no one there. I frown and jump when I feel another sharp pinch on my thigh. My phone vibrates again.

  **Captain Asshole:** _come back >:|_

I bristle and call him instead of texting. Ben picks up instantly with a happy chirp.

 “Are you fucking pinching yourself to get my attention?!” I snap.

He’s quiet for a minute, then sniffs. “I might’ve bumped myself a few times.”

Oh my god. I’m so pissed off that I just hang up instead of bitching him out. Rose snickers, snatching up the bill before I can. Ben goes right back to texting me and demanding attention. I promise myself I’ll go home and pinch the head of his cock if he doesn’t stop.

 “That shared pain thing sucks,” Rose says when the waiter takes the bill. “Finn does the same thing to get my attention when I’m blowing him off. Aren’t Omegas supposed to be the needy ones? I mean, I know you’re an Alpha, but…”

 “I think we both got flip-fucked Alphas.” I feel a pinch on my butt and jump to my feet again, hissing. “Okay, I need to go home and _kick his ass!_ ”

Rose whoops and calls Finn to tell him all about it while I storm down the street. Annoyed as I am, I still stop in the drug store to get Ben his fucking tea before heading back home with Rose in tow. Finn laughs on speakerphone and tells me to be gentle. He’s not pinching _his_ mate.

I part ways with Rose at the apartment, promising to meet up for coffee next week. She gets on the phone again and they laugh about something when he picks up.

Ben’s texted me a bunch more times since the last pinch, but I haven’t bothered reading them. I stomp upstairs to our apartment and let myself in.

He comes racing down the hall and skids to a stop in the kitchen, shirtless and clutching my towel from my shower earlier. His hair is up in a bun and I can see his ears poking out. The goofy happy look on his face makes it hard to stay mad.

Ben loops the towel over his head like a veil and ties it under his chin. “Did you get my tea?”

 “Yeah I got your fucking tea.” I throw the bag on the island on my way to get in his face. “I was having a nice lunch with Rose until you started pinching me and—” I poke his pec hard, digging my nail in. “Asking if I’ll _die_ if you come in my mouth.”

He beams. “You read that? I was just thinking about it—would you choke? Could you just open your mo—hey, where’re you going?!”

I’m walking away, because if I don’t I might punch him in the throat. Not really. I’ll just give in to his buffoonery like I always do, and I’m determined not to today. I slip my pills in my bag and squeal when Ben grabs me from behind and swings me around in a circle.

I demand to be put down, so he carries me down the hallway and drops me in the nest. We wrestle for about five minutes before I slap myself between the legs, which doesn’t hurt me but _does_ make Ben double over in pain. Then we bicker for a bit, because it’s just what we do, and I shove Ben’s face away when he tries to bite my mark. We bicker some more about how funny it is to imagine me choking to death on his knot and I try to smother him with the towel around his head.

And while I’m lying there an hour later on top of Ben, still bound to him by his knot and listening to his heartbeat while he sleeps, I figure I could’ve done a lot worse. I smile a little and kiss the curve of his jaw. Yeah… this is good.


	17. My Thirteen Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's ur epilogue children  
> thank you for reading :D
> 
> oh yes I was inspired by that piece of fan art where Ben is babywearing

 “Ma’am? Your vehicle has a few issues we’d like to go over.”

The scent of oil and steel hangs heavy in the air, drills ringing from the garages. I glance up from texting Rose, bangles clinking on my wrists, right into the eyes of Jerry the repairman. I have an Alpha tattoo behind my ear, but he’s still going to fuck with me. Do I look like a moron, _Jerry?_ I know I just need an oil change, _Jerry._

I’m in my nice gray pantsuit waiting for Ben to come collect his spawn so I can go to my client’s hearing. “I’ll be right there! He needs time apart from his sister! Bonding!” Fuckhead.

But Anakin is straight-up zonked out in his weird baby-wearing sling Ben insisted we buy. Mouth open, brown shaggy hair around his chubby cheeks like a halo. He’s getting heavy as _fuck_ but I apparently have to wear him or he’ll crossdress or something. Nipple confusion? I don’t know. I don’t care if he crossdresses. He’s doing okay if he’s not making lampshades out of human skin, in my opinion.

 “What’s wrong with it?” I ask, hitting him with the Alpha voice but not standing up.

 “You definitely need a radiator flush. New brakes, new rotors.” Jerry the repairman clicks on his computer prompts. “‘Bout a thousand bucks.”

I raise my eyebrows, back to texting Rose. “Wow, on a brand new Audi? Who would’ve thought?”

 “Well, y’know, these things come off the line—”

Anakin gasps all of a sudden and jerks awake. Jerry jumps but I just keep texting, smacking my gum. I absentmindedly kiss his head and he passes back out in a heartbeat, going slack in the sling. Ben calls it night terrors, I call it bad genetics. All three of our kids are weird as _fuck._

Jerry coughs. “So… they come off the line in bad shape sometimes. You know how it is with foreign cars. Shoulda bought a Lincoln.”

Now I’m pissed. I stare right into Jerry’s green eyes as I call my husband, running my new French manicure through Anakin’s feathery hair. He mumbles in his sleep.

 “Mama!” shrieks our seven-year-old, Leia. We weren’t creative with names; just nabbed them off Ben’s dead relatives.

I can’t help but smile. “Hey, baby. Is daddy there?”

 “Yes—and so is grandpa!” Her voice muffles. “Say hi, Grandpa Han!”

A rough grunt is all I get. It’s pretty generous from Han, honestly. He shed a single tear when Ben and I got married last year. He shed _two_ at Leia’s funeral, then cried like a baby when we came home. We all did. Spent like a hundred bucks on tissues and beer and coloring books for Leia Junior. It was a joke when she was younger but felt kind of dark after the funeral.

Ben takes the phone. “Hey, jailbait. Car done? Dad and me are taking the kids to the park. Padme’s been crying all fricken day.”

 “Did Han give her milk again?” I ask, sighing.

 “NO!” Han snaps from afar.

Padme is the needy baby Ben always wanted. She’s sick all the time—allergic to fucking everything—whiny—clingy. Leia walked and talked early and always followed me everywhere, which made her father insanely jealous. Anakin sleeps enough for himself and his twin sister. They were literally born Familiars: hands linked, scars seared down their ribs. Padme never stops bitching and Anakin never stops smiling.

It makes me even happier with the overruling of Familiar ownership. I don’t want to listen to my children bicker over who owns who. Ugh.

Ben sounds distracted. “Nah, think she’s getting another ear infection. So what’s up?”

I glance at Jerry again. “My friend Jerry says my car needs a thousand dollars of repairs. You know: my brand new Audi.”

 “The Batmobile?” Ben’s cheery mood shifts gears. “Are you fucking serious?”

 “That’s what Jerbear says.”

 “I’ll be right there,” Ben snaps.

Anger rolls off my mate in waves and I shiver. Honest to god, I fucking love watching him get pissed off and protective. It’s obviously been harder with the kids because he wants to set a good example, but he has his moments. I always want to fuck him when he has his moments.

Being knotted with an infant crying in the next room is not fun, though. I called Rose the first time, hysterical that I couldn’t help Leia, and she trotted over with her toddler, Kes. He stared at Ben and I while Rose calmed our daughter down. He’s ten now, so I figure he’s over it. Maybe.

I solidify play date plans with Rose and talk to Jerry without looking up. “My mate will be here soon.”

And he is, with a screech of his Land Rover’s tires. I didn’t buy it for him; he wasted his own money on it. Ben’s written a couple of books about us and our time together over the past thirteen years. Blow out fights, crazy sex, me taking my finals with Leia strapped to my chest. Usually he brags about me helping overturn Familiar ownership and instating improved Omega rights.

We have a way to go, but I’m proud of it, too. And I’m proud of Ben.

My Familiar busts into the tiny repair shop with Padme in her sling on his chest. She’s cooing softly, tiny hands fiddling with a doll, and Ben has her wispy brown hair in butterfly clips. The other two look like their father, but Padme is my spitting image. I _think_ she’s going to be an Omega.

Leia trots in holding Han’s hand, thick black hair wound into intricate braids like her grandmother’s always was. I shake my head at Han and motion for them to leave because Ben’s going to say some unsavory things. Han smirks and tugs Leia back out the door and she follows. She likes befriending tough people, hence why she’s not obsessed with Ben. He’s easy.

I watch my Alpha male mate stalk up to the counter and loom over Jerry the repairman. He shrinks back and Padme blinks, twisting to look up at her dad. Ben covers her ears with both hands and she gurgles and laughs. He has his hair hanging down, still to his shoulders, and he’s wearing a goofy blue shirt with ‘DILF’ on the back and ‘SAHD’ on the front. I hate him so much that I love him beyond comprehension.

 “Listen here, asshole,” Ben hisses. “You think you can rip off my wife?” He still has the diaper bag on his huge shoulder and I don’t think I’ve ever been more attracted to him. “I should kick your fucking ass.”

 “I’m—I’m so sorry!” Jerry stammers. “I’ll get that oil change done right away!”

Ben points at me. “Apologize to _her._ ”

I raise my eyebrows and smile. I’m an Alpha, yeah, but Ben is a _big_ Alpha. People listen to him because he screams what he is. Me? I’m subtle. I use it in the courtroom. Walk softly and carry a big stick type of thing.

Jerry swallows hard. “I apologize, ma’am.”

 “No worries, Jerbear.” I lick my lips, eyeing Ben. “Just get it done.”

He scurries off. Ben huffs after him and pets Padme like she might be traumatized from hearing him raise his voice. She’s chirping and playing with her doll, ignoring me and Anakin. She looks like a doll herself strapped to her father’s broad chest.

  _ah—peaceful._ Little voice chimes in, the same useless bitch she’s always been. _three pups with our Ben—three big pups—big safe home—_

 “Little voice is drooling over you again.”

Ben glares at Jerry for another second before he comes over to take Anakin. “Is she?”

I nod, standing to let Ben free me from the baby-wearing contraption. Little voice peeps up when I’m approaching heat, but I have a flexible enough schedule to indulge her. We pass off Leia on Han and the twins on Jessika or Rose. Jess is usually home with Kaydel or Poe so they tag team it like they tag team each other.

Leia already asked us about _that._ “Mama, why does Aunt Jess kissed Uncle Poe _and_ Aunt Kay?” I literally told her they were just best friends, which led Leia to kiss her best friend in the bathroom at school. And another. And another. Kids are weird.

Ben shifts Padme to accommodate Anakin on his chest, too. I think it’s fucked to name them after a married couple; Ben doesn’t.

Anakin opens his bleary dark eyes and kisses Padme’s cheek before she can react. She wails and Ben turns into mother hen, cooing to her while Anakin is distracted by his own hand. He stares at it in amazement, turning it back and forth like he’s never seen a hand before.

I fix my suit and pinch Anakin’s chubby cheek. “I know, honey. Hands, right?”

He stuffs it in his mouth and giggles. I love him. I love all of them, but Anakin is a goon, and I clearly have a thing for goons.

 “I’ll call Kaydel,” Ben offers. He’s always right on point when he knows my heat is coming.

 “Rose can do it. We were going to meet up for a play date, anyway.” I play with Anakin’s little foot and smirk up at Ben. “Now mommy and daddy can have a play date instead.”

My mate shoots me a cheeky grin and gives me a long kiss on the lips. The constant knotting thing stopped after a few months together, thank god, so we could bang out a quickie in the laundry room while the kids napped. My heats come about twice a year thanks to medication, and they always trigger Ben into rut. It’s easier to let the kids go on a week-long vacation than risk them catching us fucking each other up.

Our kiss deepens until Padme wails like she always does. Ben pulls away from me to fret over her, ignoring his son who has passed out with his fist in his mouth. Anakin’s literally eaten paint (what? It wasn’t lead-based). Kid’s indestructible.

I check my watch and groan. “Okay, I need to get going. You can put the car seats in the Batmobile but hold the kid out the window if one’s about to barf. Unless you want to pay for a detail.”

 “Mommy trusts daddy with her eighty-thousand dollar car!” Ben gasps to the twins. They look up at him, mouths agape. “Remember when he crashed the last one and mommy wouldn’t play with daddy for a month? No you don’t, because we hadn’t gotten drunk on New Years and conceived you yet.”

 “Saying shit like _that_ is going to make Anakin crossdress.” I scoop up my purse and kiss the twins’ foreheads.

Ben cups his hands over their ears and pushes their heads together so they both can’t hear. “That was a joke, Rey,” he says, getting all serious. “Anakin can do whatever he wants.”

They blink at me, a trio of dark eyes. I quickly snap a picture with my phone before the moment passes and laugh when I check it. That’s going on my desk.

Anakin plays with Ben’s titanium wedding band just as Jerry the repairman comes back. My car is done, finally, so we don’t have to do the car seat shuffle. Ben leans on the counter while I pay and all six dark eyes study poor trembling Jerry.

We head out into the sunny Los Angeles afternoon with our shades on. Anakin chews on his and Padme looks like she’s about to cry with hers on. Leia waves wildly from her picnic table with Han and almost drops her ice cream cone. I smile as a tech pulls my car up.

 “See you tonight?” I ask, like I don’t know the answer.

Ben leans over to kiss my mating mark. “See you tonight.”

I fling my arms around his neck and give a hard squeeze until the babies squeak. Ben slaps my ass when I turn away and I flip him off so Leia doesn’t see. She waves to me and finally does drop her ice cream, but laughs it off with her grandfather.

I hover by my car door for a minute and watch my family mingle in the shade. Its been a long thirteen years with Ben, and we weren’t together all the time—but we always came back to each other. Now we’re settled and content in a way I never thought we could be.

He glances at me over his shoulder, sitting next to Leia while leans in his arm. She has the same goofy ass sunglasses on, too.

 “Take a picture; it’ll last longer!” he calls.

 “Already did, asshole!” I retort.

Ben laughs as I slip into my Audi. He’s such a dick—but he’s _my_ dick.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Good little omega](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102448) by [kylosbrickhousebody](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylosbrickhousebody/pseuds/kylosbrickhousebody)




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